Starting Chemo March 2015
Comments
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Poor Bekah! Have you talked to a PT or LE specialist?
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I'm with you bekah. I struggled through work yesterday. When I got home I went to bed.
I feel like I've gone backwards. I'm not sure if it's due to stress or the heat or just because cancer treatment sucks!
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Bekah, I hop your nap was a healing one. I'm just lying down for one now. I can't seem to get through a single day without sleeping during the day. Cancer treatment is hard, and it is easy to think that you are more recovered than you actually are. I think everyone here is just sick and tired of being sick and tired.
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Who else is on the ledge/cliff with me tomorrow? It's a good thing I am a paramedic and am used to talking people down from anxiety attacks. I've had to do it to myself a bit this week. I know I will not have answers tomorrow, but hopefully I will be on the fast track to getting a biopsy to get answers. Whether it's good news or horrid news, I'll deal with it. I just need to know so I can begin to make peace with it either way. Hoping for good news for everyone all around tomorrow.
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Bekah- I am so sorry. Sending good thoughts and a hug.
Kbee- I am pretty useless today but what I have positive I have reserved for you tomorrow. Actually, starting now. 💞
I have been feeling better but today woke up in a funk. Did a Furry Friends visit and one errand and came home and
For 3 hours. Haha, E- got me smiling again you
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Karen: Sending ALL my positive energy your way!
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Theresa-Words don't suffice..my thoughts are with you and your daughters family.
Bekah-I forgot if you're on Tamoxifen? could that be causing you to feel so bad? I think they're going to start me on an AI since my labs came back "in post menopausal state." I was on T for about two weeks and felt horrible. Sending my positive energy your way
Karen-you're doing such a great job dealing with the stress of waiting. That is absolutely the hardest thing to deal with. Here's hoping you might get some sort of reassurance tomorrow even though you probably won't feel better until you have the biopsy/negative.
Katy-you're still giving to others
you're such a blessing to us all
Sharon-seems strange to hear about "the heat" Hope you feel better tomorrow Sending a warm hug
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Karen. Thinking of you and sending a rope to help pull you back from the edge.
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Katy, where is your grateful list?
Thinking of you and wishing I could help more xxx
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I do feel better after my reboot. But I'll agree with whoever it was that said cancer treatment sucks!
Karen, I thought my appt was tomorrow but it's next Wed. But I'll be praying for you tomorrow!!!
Dianne, yes I'm on Tamox and I'm sure it's contributing to me feeling crappy but I'm only 43 and not truly menopausal (lab wise) yet so Tamox is my only option right now.
Bekah
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Oh T- I'm so so so sorry for your loss. It's just so much. Love you, sister.
Kbeeee I'll hang out with you on the ledge. For the minute I'm not scared of any thing specific, so I can be your anchor! Got nothing else but this rope, but we won't let you fall. We got you. Keep talking if it helps!
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I hate to be a Debbie-Downer all the time (although the lately that's how I feel) so I wanted to share some good news.
Our rental house SOLD yesterday! We no longer have 2 mortgages to pay and I can't even express how relieved I am. We did come out ahead a bit so we will also be able to pay most of our bills off. First stop is to pay off my hospital bill. Having to make a payment to the hospital every month just feels like another slap in the face, so I'll be glad to get rid of that one!
Also, today I made the last payment on my car - yay!!! We didn't even need to spend house proceeds on that one because I was at the end on my loan anyway. I've never been without a car payment so I'm so excited!
If nothing else, 2016 will be a better year for me financially. Whew!
Anyone else have good news? I'm feeling inspired to draw the good out of y'all...
Bekah
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That is great news on the house, Bekah. And the other financial news. At the very least, a bit less to fret about in 2016. I just put myself on a strict budget. This year has been devastating. Unfortunately not under the general heading of your request for good news. But I'm very happy for you!!!
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Been nervous since my immediate boss quit, but this week they gave me a 27" apple monitor and a brand new printer, so feeling positive about the job situation! That's my good share for the week. And my hair is halfway over my ears, no more Spock ears! And I had 9 personal records on my bike rides, and I wasn't even pushing very hard, 2 days after Herceptin. And my granddaughters Christmas dress showed up today and she has been wearing it spinning around the house saying she's a princess. The last one seems the most important at the moment lol
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Karen, I'm thinking of you...waiting to wait is an awful feeling. I have my brain CT tomorrow but probably no news until Friday. I can't even fathom a reoccurrence and I am so very sorry that you have already had that layer added to the shit sandwich. Just know that we are all thinking of you. Hugs!
T-I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sure seeing your daughter and her family hurt is an awful feeling. Hang in there. I seriously hate 2015. And cancer can kiss my ass!
My good news she that I only have six more rads sessions until I'm done!
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Theresa and Bekah - thoughts and prayers are with you.
KBee - I'm SOOOO thinking of you and have this vibe that you will feel way better tomorrow night, even if more tests are needed.
I had a follow up with my RO today - he is so wonderful. He said he was confident my BC would not return. While I know that's a stretch and he has no way to know that, it makes me feel good that his intuition is positive. I told him my 2016 will be focused on healthy eating and more exercise which, he said, is the best thing I can do.
I will push 2015 out the back door, and look forward to a positive 2016. I'm hoping you can all follow suit!
Sue -
thanks so much for all of your good thoughts ladies! I soooooo greatly appreciate them. My positive is that I took Melatonin the past 2 nights, and it really helped me to actually get a couple hours of sleep. Since DH is out of town, I put HGTV on and try to focus my mind on home projects. Hoping I'll have more positive news in a few days, but I will update after my appointment
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Sending every bit of positive energy toward my March sisters!
Ummm.... At least I'm not gaining weight on tamoxifen?
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Karen, every day is a day closer to some resolution. One less day of not knowing. Thoughts are with you.
Theresa, thinking of you too while you warrior through another unfair tragedy. Good Lord.
Bekah, I know everyone's experience with the tamoxifen is different but I feel pretty normal now after starting in late August. For the first two months I had a lot of joint pain and fatigue.
And as for a good thing, I made an oven full of roasted root veggies, Brussels sprouts and squash and had an excellent dinner by the woodstove while the sideways rain and floods carried on outside. Makes me feel pretty lucky. And, I've watched two documentaries in the past week. I used to be a documentary junkie and an avid reader but since diagnosis I've had trouble concentrating and setting aside the anxiety long enough to become absorbed in something else. It makes me happy to get that back.
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congrats on the house and car bekah.
I'm thinking of getting a puppy. I was dead against it after I lost my last dog 4 years ago. But i saw a pugalier a few days ago and fell in love. Does anyone have one or know of anyone who does? They're supposed to have great temperaments and they are small enough to go travelling in my van.
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Karen, I'll be thinking of you today. Good thoughts for NO more cancer.
Sharon, not sure about the pug part but my sister always has at least 2 cavaliers at a time and they are great dogs! I love having a dog. They are great company.
Working 5 days a week is exhausting! I saw mo yest, got herceptin, went to US and had 175 cc of blood drained from right mast site then to work for 4 hrs. Home in bed by 6 pm. Radiologist says it is filling up due to Coumadin. Mixed MD feelings on whether exercise is making it worse.
Today I turn 56. Happy to have another birthday as I wasn't too sure this summer when I spent 5 days in the hospital w lots of blood clots in lungs.
Happy holiday season to everyone. I don't post often but you all help me through this junk every day!
Mo
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Happy birthday, Mo!
That's great news on the house and car, Bekah!
Special: I know you are having your surgery tomorrow and I want to wish you all the best and happy recovery. I will be thinking of you.
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trvler - thanks for thinking of me! I am in pre-surgical mode, running around doing stuff knowing there will be some quiet days following!
I hope for nothing but positives for all on this thread - I know there have been challenges lately for some, sending you all the strength needed to get through to the other side.
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Happy Birthday Mo!
Bekah - that's happy news!
Karen & Special K - lots of positive energy heading your way.
Good news: tomorrow my youngest turns 23. She is such a delight. I wish I was there to hug her up. I got a stand with grow lights to start my tomato seedlings. I will be getting those planted this week - can't wait to plant Linda's seeds. And I get my new boob on Monday. I wonder if they will let me take the TE with me so I can perform some kind of aggressive burning ritual?
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Karen- thinking of you today.
Maureen- Happy Birthday!
Special- thinking of you tomorrow. I hope this is the last one
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Burning ritual. LOL! I think that's an amazing idea!
Happy birthday, Maureen!
Thinking of you today, Karen and sending SO much love your way!!!!!
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Happy Birthday Maureen! M
Thanks for starting the positive thought thread Bekah and what great news about paying off your car and selling the house. I have always had a car payment too and have about 11 months left on my high mileage Subaru
My positive is-someone at work identified me as "the answer person" which is funny because I have very few answers for myself but....I know of many resources in the community and love to help my colleagues! Made me feel good and needed
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Thinking of you today Karen and hope you get some answers soon.
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Karen where are you?!
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thanks for all of your support ladies!!!! I met with surgeon. He agreed it felt like scar tissue but also agreed we need to investigate to be safe. He gave me 3 options: 1. Watchful waiting (he did not recommend), 2. Ultrasound, 3. Surgical excision (said was fine but risk of healing issues, and maybe aggressive). We both agreed to ultrasound and they got me in this afternoon.
You could definitely see the area on ultrasound. That spooked me s little; I was hoping to see nothing, but it also reassured me that my instincts were right that something is there. It looked just like scar tissue to the radiologist. There is blood flow around it, but not to it. She said we could wait it out to see if it changes, talk it over with BS, or schedule a needle biopsy, ultrasound guided. That's what I am doing for peace of mind, especially since last time when they excised the "scar tissue" they mentioned how it did not seem to have any blood vessels. Next Tuesday. Hopefully no surprises this time! I am feeling so much better about things. I am sure I will be stressed Atuesdsy night, but I feel good about it now. Thank you for putting up with my stressed craziness. I am not usually such a bucket of nerves. It feels good to feel like me again
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