April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    Jen- as you get closer, let me know. Maybe we can arrange an IRL meetup for some kind of fried bread or whiskey!

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited December 2015

    That sounds super! I'd love to! Or for, you know, coffee. Because Oregon means coffee to us inlanders!

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    Positive spirit, wonderful!

    Jen and Katy, count me in. I have a ferocious teaching load in winter, but you never know....

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited December 2015

    Ksusan, fantastic! 😆

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  • lovlilynne
    lovlilynne Member Posts: 405
    edited December 2015

    Lorraine, as usual, you are full of words of wisdom. YOU ROCK. That's great about your fellowship.Yeah you! I thought you were going to give us some scoop on whisky when you started, now that you are a dealer of spirits of sorts. Aerobics sounds good to me, I loved moving to the music.

    We really did come through one hell of a year. It still feels surreal to me. Chuck and I went for our annual shopping trip yesterday. We have stopped at our favorite watering hole for a late lunch in the past, but he said he didn't want to. But, lo and behold we ended up there anyway. (he's so fickle), but it felt so weird to be where we were at last year about eh same day - before the shit sandwich was served. Wow. Just wow.

    I have to say that I've done very well as far as staying in a healthy head space through all of this. There were questions on my my paperwork (for my annual exam) about depression, etc., and I could honestly answer them that I have not had any issues. But, that's not to say that my mind doesn't go there. I can't get Elizabeth Edwards out of my head - 5 years from first diagnosis to death. I hope the last year wasn't one of 5 I have left, but what if it is? What choices would you make if it was . . .

    Sorry, too much wine on a Saturday night, and I'm getting philosophical. I sure hope we all can get beyond questioning every little ache and pain. Maybe we'll laugh at this in six months. I hope so.

    Lynne


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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    yes to an Oregon based coffee reunion!


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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited December 2015

    Positive! Congrats on the fellowship, sister! What will you be doing for it?

    Your comment about Lynnes lady bits cracks me up!

    Lynne, here's to playing the piano....and ksusans cake.

    Haven't gone there in a month of sundays, myself. It's depressing that my business has regressed as much as my chest...to that of a 10 yr old. Sigh.

    Love you guys. You comfort, crack me up, kick my ass....so very thankful for us all!

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  • slothabouttown
    slothabouttown Member Posts: 449
    edited December 2015

    Can we have a Portland meet up and toast out the year with a tiny portion of liquor?!

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    That sounds highly desirable.

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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    I would love to but until these cataracts are fixed I'm not save to drive. In principle and in spirit I will be there.

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    Depending on when, we might be able to work something out.

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  • Rpayton
    Rpayton Member Posts: 235
    edited December 2015

    Hi, gals! So this is the third time I'm trying to post and decided to go on my laptop. For some reason when I hit submit on my phone the post has been lost errrgggghhhh. In reading I've missed some funny stuff... lady parts, whiskey....hilarious. I agree with you, Andrea, not much for the alcohol but a good lime margarita once in a while is great!

    Kbeee been thinking of you all week. So hard to wait. Glad you are keeping busy, busy. I have a good friend and her husband was diagnosed with thyroid CA same week I was diagnosed with breast. His treatment was obviously lots different and shorter. Two weeks ago he found another lump, they biopsied and are still waiting a second pathology look as the first was inconclusive. And he goes for a scan this week. I guess this is just our life now always looking for lumps, bumps awaiting biopsy results and scans....we will get thru it together and be there for each other and that's all we can do.

    Last week I did the colon prep and had an upper and lower GI on Friday. Had a grandmother with colon cancer so have done vigilant screenings every 5 years since I turned 40. They usually find a couple non cancerous polyps and they did again on Friday. But in addition they biopsied a part of my stomach lining as doc said I had chronic gastritis in the lining. I will find out Friday, hopefully. I know during chemo I had horrible heartburn. Hoping this is nothing scary and, yep, my mind has gone to dark places too. So I got busy and baked cookies. My freezer is full of Italian sesame, chocolate mint, and shortbread cookies. The rest I will make closer to Christmas. My house smells wonderful and it kept my mind calm.

    Praying we are all going to have great test results and will celebrate the holidays peacefully. Hugs, all!!!



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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited December 2015

    Sorry I have been so scarce. I have worked a TON of hours this week (and am headed into work again in 15 minutes). That has kept me as distracted as I can be. DH leaves town tomorrow morning, so once I get off at noon tomorrow, I don't work again all week. That has me a bit stressed. I have slept ok at work, but not at home. I finally took melatonin Friday night and it helped, so I'll use that again as needed during the week. I alternate between being confident it's scar tissue and feeling like I'm crying wolf to certainty that it's back and fearful that all treatments thus far have failed. Beyond all of you, I've only told a few friends. I did tell one coworker who asked how my appointment went last month (I had not seen him since then) and asked if I had any others coming up. I'm not a good liar and he could see by my face something was wrong when he asked that, so I did tell hi,. His mom died of cancer (lymphoma) complications 10 years ago, so he does truly understand my fears. I have not told my kids yet, unlike the last times. If I need a surgical biopsy I'll tell them, otherwise I only will if it's positive. They need to be shielded at some point from the worry. I've had a lot of time to think about all possibilities, so I did message both PS and MO. I asked MO if it's worst case scenario and is positive, if it's better to have it out now surgically or try to treat it to see if treatments work this time. That'll impact surgical vs needle biopsy decision. I asked PS what the risks were of surgical biopsy on radiated skin vs needle biopsy risk to implant. Hopefully they'll both answer before Wednesday so I can have a good discussion with BS. 3 more days....... (even though I won't have answers that day)

    Renee, I had samples taken of my stomach about a month before all of this BC crap reappeared. I also had some damage to my stomach lining from heartburn/reflux, likely secondary to chemo. Thankfully mine came back benign. Wishing that yours does as well. Keep us posted.

    Gotta run. Taking a step off the ledge and onto the fire engine for the next 18 hours.

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    Ahhh.... The wonderful feeling of being done teaching and turning my attention to grading (which I enjoy and which can be done at any hour). A trip to the LE sleeves place, a trip to the PT, organizing a lab visit and appointments with my MO and PCP. Collecting deductible receipts (think I'll hit my medical percentage this year?) and calendars. Washing clothes and throwing most of my bras and scoop-necked blouses in the donation pile. Thinking in an as-yet-enjoyable way about what I'm teaching next term. Confirmed my "belly-dance for self-esteem" guest instructor. Sent my pieces of an article to the lead writer and will be writing more when she turns around a draft because I am the Queen of "Your In-Text Citation Doesn't Match Your Reference List Entry." Several writing projects due in January to move to the front burner. Maybe I'll write in my journal, or brush the cats....

    Anyway, I'll be mostly taking a get-away-from-Dr-Google break from the Internet for a week or so, though I'll probably check in, because you're what the insurance biz calls an "attractive nuisance" that lures me online to my peril.

    If I don't get a chance to say it later, Happy Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Solstice, Festivus, and whatever you Pastafarians do to celebrate the return of the light. White sauce? Be well.

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  • lovlilynne
    lovlilynne Member Posts: 405
    edited December 2015

    Karen, thinking of you today. I know that you won't have immediate answers, but I hope that your doctors can give you some reassurance that this is not a recurrence. I cannot believe that would even be possible. If you were to have a recurrence after all you have done to fight this, then it would mean that treatment is just pointless. So, it's just some sort of scar tissue or lump of fat - which sucks because it causes same amount of anxiety as if it was a tumor until it's proven otherwise. This too shall pass.

    Lynne

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  • lovlilynne
    lovlilynne Member Posts: 405
    edited December 2015

    ksusan, your post resonated with me because I feel like you are describing being back in a groove of sorts - feeling and doing normal things, not thinking of cancer for hours at a time. I have felt like that at times now that I have returned for work, and I'm grateful for it. Happy Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Solstice, Festivus, etc. to you too. Enjoy your break, don't stay away too long, we'd miss your wit and intelligence.

    Lynne

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited December 2015

    Thinking of you Kbeee! This sucks donkey balls but we are sending you all the mojo.

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    My PT has released me to do more exercises. I'm happy about this especially because our Y is about to start having Livestrong classes. I doubt that will work in my schedule in winter, but spring should work.

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  • Positive_spirit
    Positive_spirit Member Posts: 218
    edited December 2015

    Livestrong...Ksusan...the best cancer patients ever! Dark humor, light humor, lots of weights, cardio, and many bald people! :)

    Kbeee- in my thoughts, prayers, and cancer-kicking vibes.

    Lynne - I smile at my post to you, your response to me! Heehee. You do so much for your family. My cheekiness wishes that Santa brings you one heck of present this year.

    Gingerchi....fall leaves next year in New England.

    Littleblue - donkey balls? Seriously? Donkey balls? Lol. You and Ksusan have the best sense of humor. What would I do without this in my life? Imagine the smileless, self-absorbed people at my workplace. And in my imagination, I am handing them all moon stickers...for everything I moon them.


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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited December 2015

    I cross posted this in March and April..,

    thanks for all of your support ladies!!!! I met with surgeon. He agreed it felt like scar tissue but also agreed we need to investigate to be safe. He gave me 3 options: 1. Watchful waiting (he did not recommend), 2. Ultrasound, 3. Surgical excision (said was fine but risk of healing issues, and maybe aggressive). We both agreed to ultrasound and they got me in this afternoon.

    You could definitely see the area on ultrasound. That spooked me s little; I was hoping to see nothing, but it also reassured me that my instincts were right that something is there. It looked just like scar tissue to the radiologist. There is blood flow around it, but not to it. She said we could wait it out to see if it changes, talk it over with BS, or schedule a needle biopsy, ultrasound guided. That's what I am doing for peace of mind, especially since last time when they excised the "scar tissue" they mentioned how it did not seem to have any blood vessels. Next Tuesday. Hopefully no surprises this time! I am feeling so much better about things. I am sure I will be stressed Atuesdsy night, but I feel good about it now. Thank you for putting up with my stressed craziness. I am not usually such a bucket of nerves. It feels good to feel like me again!

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited December 2015

    Yessssssssss! Kbeeee it sounds like your instinct that it was scar tissue was right on! I know it will be stressful until you know for sure, but that sounds like damn good news.

    Maybe TMI but...I got some goodness tonight! For the first time since....um....radiation started. And it didn't hurt! In fact, it was great! Replens, man....that stuff is great. Just sayin...

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    Glad you got some, LB!

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited December 2015

    Yay Jen!!!!!

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    Here's two years ago in Cambodia. Just proving that my current hair is my normal length.

    image

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited December 2015

    You look as good now as you did then!!!!!

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    Thanks!

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited December 2015

    ksusan- could you be any cuter???

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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    I really don't think she could be, at least without the coconuts and grass skirt!

    Adorable. Then and now.


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  • DizzParkMom
    DizzParkMom Member Posts: 316
    edited December 2015

    Hooray for happy news kbee...glad the dr. Put your mind at ease!!!

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  • AndreaC
    AndreaC Member Posts: 220
    edited December 2015

    Hi all -

    I'm glad you're having the biopsy Karen...given your history it's a totally reasonable thing to do. Keeping my fingers crossed!

    Good pic, ksusan! You looked great then and you do now.

    Littleblue - lucky you! I can't have sex till I get the okay from my gynaecologist (I'm only 3 weeks postop)...so not till sometime next month. I don't miss it though. Right now I am battling a cold anyway.

    I've been busy getting ready for Christmas! And the grandkids and their parents came for an overnight visit Tuesday - so much fun but such a lot of work! They are only 3 and almost 1, after all. I was so sore from cooking, chasing them around etc. Not used to doing so much! It was so great to have them here though!

    Tomorrow is DH's staff Christmas party in Victoria so we'll stay overnight with his mom.

    Speaking of moms, it looks like my mom has dumped her alcoholic married boyfriend for good this time! Yay! It will be a merry Christmas for my family!

    Andrea 🎄


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