Riding the emotional roller coaster

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Northernflower
Northernflower Member Posts: 10
edited December 2015 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

Had my lumpectomy on Friday and came home that afternoon. Saturday I must have still been on an emotional high from getting the surgery over with, because I was in a fine mood, but today (Sunday) I am feeling anxious, sad and fearful again, even though I got the best sleep last night since I was diagnosed. I know part of it is that I'm waiting for the pathology report and worrying about what it might show.

Normally, exercise is one way I would cope with stress, but I'm too sore at this point to even walk very comfortably. I would welcome any suggestions! Today I just feel like crying.

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  • kittysister
    kittysister Member Posts: 212
    edited November 2015

    If it helps any at all, we've been there. My surgery was on a Friday, too. Anything at all, even a funny tv show or movie might temporarily take your mind off of things. Hoping your soreness is getting better. Did you get your path report back?

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  • ORknitter
    ORknitter Member Posts: 119
    edited November 2015

    Northern I remember that feeling well. I can only speak for myself but it did get better. I was fortunate to have a great team that I fully trust so I kind of left myself in their hands. There are still times when I feel a bit down but it passes, especially if I can go outside and walk! I find people on this site are the ones who really understand and are easy to "talk" with.

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  • Northernflower
    Northernflower Member Posts: 10
    edited December 2015

    My follow-up meeting with the surgeon is this Friday, and I'll find out whether or not she wants to do a re-excision since the superficial margin was positive. As I understand it, because of the location of my tumor in the inframammary fold, there may not be any more tissue to take, meaning radiation would be the treatment. Also, the deep margin, which is close to the chest wall, was "close (1.5mm). All told, I can't stop worrying about it.

    I think I must have PTSD. I just can't seem to get back to an even keel or my usual glass-half-full outlook. Some days I'm more or less okay, although I'm not able to take pleasure in things on a consistent basis. Other days I'm a basket case. It hasn't helped that I've had days with terrible fatigue, maybe from the surgery, maybe from cold sores (I've had two since the surgery), or maybe from MS, which I also have. Just the fatigue depresses me—it was so bad some days that all I could do was lie around. That frustrates me because I know exercise helps me feel better, but there was just no way I could do it. Even walking around the house was an effort.

    I'm feeling better physically the last couple of days, but not mentally. I'm cranky all the time and jumped nearly out of my skin today when I was walking down the street and a neighbor I didn't see as I was walking by greeted me. I suppose the wise thing to do would be to call the social worker at the doctor's office and tell her that I'm really struggling. I need some lessons in techniques for coping with this, because the ones I've used successfully in the past are just not working for me. Anyone have cognitive behavior therapy advice to share?

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