Thinking too much/Fears

Hi sweetie. I wish I could make it better. Just wanted you to know you are not alone, and I hear you!

etnasgrl we have all been there, big hugs. I call those thoughts "spiders in my brain" and I give into it for awhile, then I visualize smashing them under my flip flop. Just tell yourself, 70-75% of women are fine with just surgery. My MO said my cancer was probably there for 7-10 years, so the wait until you have surgery is a small amount of time, but I get it, the wait time can make for crazy thoughts. Get out, shop, do stuff. On a bad day, I go online, like to gap or some store, put everything I want in the shopping cart, then close the browser and buy nothing! That's what I do with time to avoid the spiders.

Here you won't get pity, you will get empathy from us because we have been where you are right now

Like all the other ladies said, your feelings are completely normal. I've met so many BC survivors since my recent diagnosis that I've lost count. some women that I've known for a few years and didn't know their history. My point is that is that BC is highly treatable so focus on that plus that wonderful family of yours. One of my favorite warriors said to me recently that she never ever thought she wouldn't be around to see her children grow up--it just wasn't an option. That is probably the best positive mindset advice I've heard and every time I think negative thoughts, I say a prayer and adopt that mindset.

Hi etnasgrl,

I read your post and you sound exactly like me! I felt like I was reading my own diary page! I am having lumpectomy on December 8 and radiation afterwards. It has consumed my life since I found out a month ago. I feel as if I am in a constant fog and at the same time I need to be there for my two kids, my husband, I work full time so I have to be able to keep my job. I have good days and bad, some days I cry a lot and others I am okay. I just wanted you to know you are not alone because I thought I must be going crazy since I heard the C word. I wondered how others handle this kind of thing and have come to find it's normal for women going through this. I did the gene testing too and it was negative, but waiting for all the test results, etc. can be horrific. Now I am not so scared of the surgery as I am of the radiation. I've never been through something like this, nobody can make it better, I wish they could. I am so glad I found this discussion board for encouragement from survivors. Good luck on your surgery, it's the same week as mine. Stay strong!