Starting Chemo March 2015

You know you have been let back into the land of the living when people start telling you you look like crap and stop saying "you look great"! So there's that.

Bekah, I also had to stop wellbutrin. It's been going ok though. Although now I'm temporarily off tamoxifen to see if that really is what's causing my leg/hip pain. Congrats on the exchange Mine is next month - I can't wait!!

I can't wait to hear everyone's plans for the holidays. That sounds so nice! We normally go to my sister in laws an hour away but I might not go if I am itching and in pain (which I can't see any reason why I wouldn't be since I am now and I have 4 more zaps). I just don't want to spend hours in utter misery. I kind of feel like playing the cancer card this year is justified. I told my husband it wouldn't bother me a bit if he took the kids but he refuses. I think they will be disappointed though.

Bekah: I hope you don't have one single SE from the Tamoxifen!! I am holding out hope for you. Your hair is cute!

I might be the one person vain enough to still enjoy hearing I look good. lol. What's scaring me is that I am thinking my silver, curly short hair isn't so bad. Yikes! I did make an appointment to get it colored the week after Thanksgiving. They said it would be hard to get me in before and it's not like I am not wearing my wig anyway. I also didn't want to go to a crowded salon.

Katy, I think you would be proud of me. I called the salon manager and told her my situation and asked if they could A) find me a private place to have my hair done not gouge me on the cost since it is only 2 inches long (they usually charge like $40 just to blow it out after color) and C) not have some 20 year old who would say something like "My mom DIED of breast cancer" or some stupid insensitive thing like that anywhere near me. She was wonderful and very nice. It felt empowering.

As far as Thankgiving, I am having two small ones here at home. My niece (not by blood but you've all heard of her and what she's done for me over the last year) is working producing the news for one of the Eugene television stations and can't get off. We are therefore doing a make-up Thanksgiving on the Saturday, a traditional turkey dinner. I think I'm going to get my tree (very) early since her BF will be here and they can get all my Christmas stuff down from the attic and maybe get the lights on and hang a few ornaments for the daily entertainment.

My local friend, who is invited to the make-up dinner thought it was sad that we'd both be in our houses alone on the actual holiday, so we decided to have a festive non-turkey dinner that day. I do love to cook, and she knows I'm a weakling right now, so we will spend the day cooking together. And she'll probably do more than her share of cleaning up. She's from England, and often doesn't get some of the traditional things she loves, like parsnips and mincemeat pie, so those are on the menu, along with frenched pork roast (like a crown roast but with only two of us, not the whole circle- but same cut of meat).

I hope I haven't literally bitten off more than I can chew!

What is everyone else doing?

I am having Thanksgiving in Arrowhead w/ 3 friends. This is the first year Alan & I haven't spent Thanksgiving together in 25 years. I invited him, but he made other plans. The girls aren't coming home. Blech. But it will be super fun anyway. Christmas, I'm assuming we will do our usual thing. I know Kelli will be home for a few days - not sure about Shana - working in hospitality can be tricky around the holidays. I love Christmas trees & decorating. Last year no one seemed interested. This year I am having a tree decorating get together - invited around 12 people although some have kids so that number is I guess actually higher. Time to start creating my own traditions....

Still not really exercising. Gotta get on that.

Love hearing all the plans.

Leigh: I thought you were going to post a hair picture.

Indygal - I have two small incisions at either side of my lower abdomen right around the pelvic bone and they are maybe 1/2 cm ea and were closed with glue. I'm only a week out so I still have some swelling but I do notice a lessening of fat in one of the areas that was a little 'pouchy' before. Won't really know for another few weeks what results will be on the belly. HOWEVER...I can see a big difference on my boobs. I had implants before cancer and you could totally tell because the chest wall was flat and then stuck out like a balloon where the implant was. Now, he gave me cleavage and a nice slope down to the implant. Much more natural looking.

I'm still bruised and swollen so they aren't 'beautiful' yet but I'm very happy with the fat grafting. The PS nurse said I have 'college girl boobs'!

Thanksgiving we are spending with a wonderful family that we have become very close to over the past year as they have taken my teenage daughter in ANYTIME we needed help and they have just been the biggest blessing to us. Good people and we are so thankful for them that it only seems fitting to spend Thanksgiving with them.

Katy, I can totally picture the chocolate debacle and it makes me giggle.

2 days without Wellbutrin (and on Tamoxifen) and so far so good. If anything, DH says I'm more chatty {shrug}

Bekah

I am glad you are having an easy time with rads. I guess I should have known I wouldn't but I was still cautiously optimistic. I figured it out about 2-3 weeks in when I remembered my reaction to the tanning bed 30 years ago.

Katy, I read your story about the chocolate on your face when I was waiting for in my BS's office. I found the story hilarious. I hope you don't think I'm diminishing your anguish and I'm sorry you were having such hard time. The good thing is that it ended well. It had to be so embarrassing to the doctor.

My husband told me that once he had a patient see him for a second opinion. She had a dark "growth" at the bottom of her foot and she was going to have it removed by another doctor. It turned out to be just a dried up blood blister which fell off when my husband started examining it. So, those things do happen.

Meanwhile, I still haven't had my MRI. My insurance has just denied for the third time – twice to MO's request, and most recently to the BS's request. My breast is hurting, the nipple looks inverted, the surgeon feels multiple lumps, the mammo is showing a bunch of calcifications, it is "PROBABLY benign". According to the insurance the mammo is normal and they want me to wait 6 months and repeat the mammo, and the MRI is not medically necessary.

Just wondering because I had a talk with my sister about it. Have any of you read Unbroken? Did I ask this already?

I am glad you are doing well, PB. So cute about your son making the guacamole.

It's a hard book to read but it is absolutely gripping. I read the description a few years ago and it sounded very depressing but I read the sample on my Nook and was hooked immediately. It is an amazing look at the human spirit and one that I think many cancer patients could get a lot out of. I learned more about WWII history than I ever learned from any other source. I thought of it because I recommended to my sister when she was here in Sept and she thanked me today because she loved it.

I have never been much into romance novels for some reason. lol

Pboi, I take 5mg melatonin right before bed, but I'm not convinced it's making much difference for me, personally. Maybe I should increase the dosage

T, is there a romance out there trashy enough to hold my stupid chemo brain on task? Please, share! I miss reading but can't focus any more!

Re Unbroken, I saw the movie, does that count? I'm just starting to get back into reading again, finishing The Goldfinch which I started before chemo and had to stop reading because I couldn't concentrate. Also started crocheting an afghan and realized that my fit bit thinks crocheting is walking! Now I have to try to remember to take it off before I start working on the afghan.

Pboi I take 10 mg of melatonin at night. I keep it on the nightstand and don't take it until I get into bed, finish reading etc. I think it helps.

Today we went into a hoarders place and removed over 200 birds, hamsters, chinchillas, guinea pigs and tortoises. It was a 12 hour day with lots of steps. I'm exhausted but it was a great feeling of accomplishment getting so many sad lite animals out of that filthy environment.