Now I'm starting to stress!

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etnasgrl
etnasgrl Member Posts: 650
edited November 2015 in IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)

I was diagnosed on Thursday, November 5 with IDC.
On Monday, the 9th, I saw my surgical oncologist for the first time. She and her PA assured me that this seemed to be caught early and that this was "treatable". She didn't seem to think that the cancer had spread to any nodes, based on the ultrasound report. A lumpectomy, followed by radiation is the treatment plan. Also Tamoxifen for 5 years.
Now this week coming up is going to be busy. Monday, I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon. Tuesday, I have an appointment for a breast MRI and Wednesday, I have an appointment to meet back with the surgical oncologist to discuss the results of the MRI, genetic testing, (if the results are in), and confirm treatment plan.
I've been fine this past week....relieved to have gotten good news from the surgical oncologist about the cancer being "treatable". Life almost seemed to have gotten back to normal. Not quite, but almost.
Now that I'm facing a week of more doctor appointments, more tests, and more results....my nerves are beginning to fray. What if she wrong and this isn't as "treatable" as she thought? What if the MRI picks up cancer that the mammogram and ultrasound did not? What if? What if? What if?

I know that I need to face this week one day at a time and not get ahead of myself. I need to STOP overwhelming myself with a thousand "what if's"? But, that's a lot easier said than done!
(For example, I woke up this morning with my elbow hurting, like a deep muscle pain or like the joint is out of place. Instantly, my first thought was that the cancer HAD spread to the nodes and this pain was the result of that! See....I drive myself crazy!)

Please tell me that y'all can relate! I've been trying to focus on prayers and scripture, friends and family, instead of on anxiety....but at times, it gets the best of me!

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  • doxie
    doxie Member Posts: 1,455
    edited November 2015

    etnagrl,

    So sorry you have to be here with us. I feel for you. It is totally normal to feel the way you are now. You are lucky that you are getting in to see doctors so quickly. Of course the speed may be dizzying. Take your time to make decisions. Another week or so won't matter. It looks like your tumor is small and slow growing. Hang in there.

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  • stingraysusan
    stingraysusan Member Posts: 9
    edited November 2015

    In February, 2013 I was diagnosed with DCIS on left breast and had a lumpectomy only. Would not to radiation or Tamoxifen, my choice. Sent path to Dr. Lagios for second opinion and no clear margins. In June, 2013, I had re-excision surgery based on MRI/MRI biopsy results and still did not get clear margins per Dr. Lagios. At this time, the DCIS was turning over to LCIS pathologically, but never became invasive. I did not wait or it to become invasive. Taking quick action, I asked for unilateral mastectomy and that was performed on 7/2/2013. Surgeon did skin sparing, sentinel node and two others were tested and clear and MRI's/mammograms normal on contralateral breast since. The mastectomy did not get me down...I was kayaking two weeks afterwards. This summer, 2015, I decide to have delayed reconstruction. The tissue expander in left breast (surgery 6/15/2015) hurt 10 times worse than mastectomy. It took only four large weekly fills to obtain my goal (went from 34 B to 34D) and I weigh 125 lbs. On August 13, 2015, I had cohesive gel gummy bear teardrop implant transfer surgery and mastopexy with augmentation on contralateral breast surgery for identical symmetry. On Nov. 5 I had nipple reconstruction surgery with surgeon using my own areola tissue from contralateral breast and he used the skate flap technique. I may be 62 now, but parts of me look better than 22...but I did all this the hard way. Hindsight...given another chance, I would have had a bi-lateral mastectomy and immediate reconstruction...that would have been much easier. I love my results now, but it has been a lot of unnecessary surgeries to get here. Plus, since I have one remaining real breast, I must still have MRI's and mammograms.

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  • dtad
    dtad Member Posts: 2,323
    edited November 2015

    Etnasgrl What you feeling is completely normal. Waiting for test results is absolutely the worst part of this process. It's the fear of the unknown. Once you have all the facts you will feel better. I promise! Good luck and keep us posted...

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  • AG3
    AG3 Member Posts: 80
    edited November 2015

    hi etnagirl. I know exactly how you feel. The initial diagnosis, the tests, the waiting- so many what if's.... I felt more relief after the final diagnosis which in my case was after surgery/mastectomy, because that's when they get the "big picture" or the extent of the cancer.

    Like someone said in a thread somewhere, I just pretty much showed up and have my team.do their job.

    Continue to pray for wisdom for your team :)

    PSALM 46:10 Be still and know I am God.

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