The Hermit Club

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited November 2015

    Beautiful Teka!

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  • magdalene51
    magdalene51 Member Posts: 2,214
    edited November 2015
    Jazzy, we have a cottonwood outside our dining room window, it's not turned yet. It's beautiful, but horrible for my allergies and cleanup in May. Cotton all over the place. Oklahoma has tons of them. We also have Bradford (non-bearing) pears in abundance, when they all bloom at the same time in spring, it's like a bridal procession along the streets. Right now they are shading to bronze. Oklahoma has a native oak called a blackjack. We had lots of them at our old house where we had an acre. They are unusual in that they turn color in the fall but do not lose their leaves. The leaves hang on the tree, a kind of dry, dusty brown, until the new growth in the spring pushes them off. They top off at around 30', and at around 30-40 years old they become very susceptible to carpenter ants, which hollow them out. Then they fall over. When we bought the house, we went over in the morning before closing for a walk through. When we came back after closing, a blackjack had fallen down across the front walkway. Maybe it was a sign. But it was the first of many in the 8 years we lived there.
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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited March 2016

    Cute!

    image

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  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited November 2015

    lol

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited November 2015

    Teka- I was out and about today and there are Xmas things everywhere! That being said, no decoration in this house so far! I will keep my autumny things up through Thanksgiving.

    I ended up getting rid of a lot of Xmas things this year through my de-cluttering process, as I never have Xmas at my house. Family never comes here, and I often go somewhere else for that holiday. So I kept the best, donated a bunch of stuff including a small artificial tree to Habitat Restore. Another family will enjoy it this year. I am looking for a small metal tree to put ornaments on!

    For you coffee lovers, Starbucks has their Thanksgiving Blend in the stores now. It is yummy, give it a try!

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited March 2016

    I'll do no X-mas shopping or decorating on Thanksgiving and Black Friday.

    I've in prior years given away or junked a lot of X-mas crap.

    Might try a cup!




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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited November 2015

    So does giving people presents early represent a faux pas? My friend who was visiting from the east coast and I exchanged Xmas gifts last weekend when she was visiting. Xmas in October! More fun to open presents together than to just send the mail, right?

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited March 2016

    Yes, I agree!

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited November 2015

    Favorite part of Xmas is giving gifts to people and watching their faces as they open them up! The little kid in everyone comes out at Xmas!

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited March 2016

    I also enjoy finding the perfect X-mas cards!


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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited November 2015

    Teka- oh that is fun too! I buy great cards right after the new year and then store them for the following year. Pulled those out in October when I was cleaning out the garage stuff so they would be handy.


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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited November 2015

    I spoke to a couple of girlfriends recently and both of them were like oh but you look great and you just have to get on with it........I don´t think it is even worth bothering.......

    I also notice I am now sooo intolerant of other people, keep on not listening to me over and over again and in the end I blow........why do people think I say something if I don´mean it? 

    I am not on any hormone modulators so cannot blame those but I really do not like myself anymore and I feel totally stuck, I just want to have a normalish body again and feel reasonably ok, a few scars are fine but a whacking great gap......I cannot go to the gym as anton else would and have a shpwer as they are communal showers and even the thought of it makes me feel ill, my heart pounds often even when i am doing nothing and I generally feel like xxxx and I am sick off feeling lik this, right now its worse as on the verge of tears all the time, yet a bloody gain......................

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited November 2015

    Lilly- unfortunately, too many people say "get on with it" around many things in life. A death someone close, a relationship that has ended, looking for work, health issues. I have heard it every time something major has gone in my life. Perhaps I am different than some because I went through some really serious things with my family in my 20s to 30s and found out then what people are like in difficult situations. A few are there for you, most are not. Thank god for the good folks that show up.

    About the gym, I had two surgeries in six weeks in 2012 that included a huge open abdominal incision and four incisions around my breast surgery. I looked horrible for a long time, but also was anxious to get back to the gym to exercise. So I rejoined the month after rads finished and eased into it. I was super self conscious in the pool, but just dressed in the bathroom stall and never showered at the gym. I went home to shower to avoid any issues around the body images. So if the showers are an obstacle at the gym, then just go home to shower after your work out. Can you do a trial membership to just try to see if that might work?

    I had friend visiting last weekend who lost her dad to prostate cancer. She was supportive during my medical problems, but also far away so she did not see everything I went through. We were watching TV the final evening and there was something on about Pinktober and she made a comment about it being so great to raise awareness for screening and early detection. I told her I agreed, but that a whole month of talking about it is not easy on survivors. She made a strange comment and said "well the powers that be must have decided it would be a good thing." Powers that be? Who would that be? Anyways, I told myself at that point to stop and change the conversation. I am not going to make someone who has not had bc understand what October means to us. I will be honest and say outside of my sister, a few close friends and the ladies here, I don't ever bring it up. I am just not up for the stupid comments.

    I do hear you are working your way through things, although nothing is easy around any of this. It is hard for others to understand how long it takes to come through this and that many of us live with long term SEs.

    Hugs sister. Keep moving forward one step at a time.

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited March 2016

    Jazzy, always there for Lily with kind words!!

    ___________________________________________________________________________________

    I took the following photo during the 1st week of November.

    Such a lovely shade of pink leaves on the ornamental pear trees.

    image

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  • kittysister
    kittysister Member Posts: 212
    edited November 2015

    I can't remember if I've posted on this one or not! Ha! That's pretty bad .. I read a lot but don't always sign in. Just wanted to stop by and say hello. Frey, I feel a lot like you do. ;-)

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited March 2016

    Welcome!


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  • kittysister
    kittysister Member Posts: 212
    edited November 2015

    Thanks Teka!

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  • KbellaK
    KbellaK Member Posts: 15
    edited November 2015

    Hi All. It's been a while since I've checked in here. I've actually been making a concerted effort to get out more or have people over and 3 week-ends in a row I engaged in social activities! Last weekend we brought our daughter to check out Alfred University in New York and it's a 7-hour drive each way so it was a looooong weekend. But it was kind of fun just being around lots of families and meeting some of the kids who were either current students or prospective ones.

    I'm back in hermit mode now and that's ok. I'm proud that I made an effort.

    Lily, I know exactly how you're feeling (well probably not EXACTLY) as I was right there a few weeks ago. It was the one year "anniversary" of my diagnosis. Lots of tears and "what ifs" and self-doubt and a little "woe is me." I wrote a lengthy Caring Bridge post about how I was feeling and how I don't have the patience for anyone's BS, that I feel disfigured and lied to. It took a few days but I got through it. I suspect that will happen from time to time. I just keep reminding myself that I'm still here...HUGS

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  • kittysister
    kittysister Member Posts: 212
    edited November 2015

    Maybe it isn't such a bad thing to stay in a hermit mode as long as we feel we need to .. so long as we don't stay there. But believe me,, during the last few months, I've had my share of pity parties. I can get so down, I can't see up! I think it's all part of it .. I would love to join Live Strong or something, but then I think .. I don't have the energy, am way too slow moving, too heavy, I might fall, or pull something, am I too old, would I feel intimidated, what would I wear, etc! Believe me, I can think up every excuse there is! So I still haven't asked about it at the local Y, but hope to eventually. By the time I decide to check into it, I probably WILL be too old.

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited November 2015

    Welcome Kitty!

    Teka- lovely photo of the pear tree. My read oak is beginning to deepen and will post it soon!

    Kbella- hugs sister on your anniversary or "cancerversary" as one sister I know from here calls it. I have all the dates firmly ingrained in my mind from cancer dx, to surgery dates, to radiation dates, to when I started the AIs. It is like someone branded those dates into my brain forever. Hermiting is what we need to do to protect ourselves during all this. Three years out, I still do it a lot even though I have to be out and about a lot with my work/consulting biz.

    Your outing to the city for the college visit sounded so nice too. I love the city in the fall (originally from the east coast.....)

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited March 2016

    Jazzy, looking forward to the photo.

    Our front porch light now has a green bulb for vets!

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited March 2016

    Welcome!

    Thankfully, pets are never judgmental.

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited November 2015

    Sue- welcome to our Hermit thread! Whether people are out and about (I have to be with my consulting work), or at home more, we all value our quiet time. I have always balanced my social time with solo time, but became more of a hermit during treatment and recovery.

    Pets are always nice company, no judgement or unsolicited advice like with people, right?

    We too try to be a judgement free zone and hope you like it here!

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited November 2015

    Teka- I like the green bulb idea. My front lights are not easy to do that with unfortunately.

    For anyone here who served or is serving current in our military, I humbly thank you.

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited March 2016

    I've always on the day after Thanksgiving put a green bulb in the front, back and kitchen porch light for X-mas and New Year's. Easy and the only outdoor decorating.

    Probably now going to be a green bulb shortage!

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  • kittysister
    kittysister Member Posts: 212
    edited November 2015

    Hi suersis, welcome .. I'm not really a social butterfly either .. never have been! It's been a big adjustment for me since hubby's retirement. So happens it was right at my being dx'd for BC too, so it's been a double whammy .. as far as adjusting to some kind of new normal. I really do value some time alone to think, reflect back, pray and just be me. My cat actually understands me better than anybody, I think! Glad you are happy with your situation and fur babies! They are the best!

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  • kittysister
    kittysister Member Posts: 212
    edited November 2015

    Leaving the green light bulbs up is a great idea. Ours are hard to replace too, though.

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited November 2015

    Welcome Sue.......I currently live with 7 animals and lots of hair!

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited March 2016

    Tomorrow, Husband and I are meeting Daughter and Boyfriend for dinner at Arnie's Restaurant that serves local home-style real Italian dishes. Delicious!

    No better way to start off the weekend.

    ____________________________________________________________________________________

    image


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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited November 2015

    Teka- funny you should mention Italian. I am trying to lure some friends who are originally from the east coast, but have lived in CT for 30 years (now here in my city) to a place I just love that has a family out of NYC who opened this fab restaurant. I was by there the other day and said "why am I not going there more?" Hopefully friday the 20th!

    I want a full report on dinner and if you are a foodie geek like me, take pictures!

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