Starting Chemo March 2015

FWIW, I had DCIS grade 3 on one side and IDC and DCIS grade 0 on the other. I'm taking tamoxifen.

Hi Ladies, I just caught up on 7 pages, whew. I can't remember everything but I'm thinking of you all with good vibes!

Avmom oh my what? Cancer is so frickin scary. Thank goodness you made the decision you did! I'll be starting tamoxifen in a couple of weeks.

Who said Recovering chemo addict - love it! So so true.

Katy so happy you had a great family visit, I must have missed the photos. The dinner sounds amazing though I've never had Indian food. I'll need to put it on my new bucket list. The beach looks so relaxing.

Hi Bekah so sorry you are having issues still, wishing you some peaceful rest over the weekend.

For those doing rads, I only had two minor areas of small blistering with some stinging, lasted a few days. Now I have flaking peeling tanned skin, no pain whatsoever. I had some shooting pains sometimes but came and went quickly. The techs were great and it was nice that they played the music I brought in. I thought it would never end but 6 1/2 weeks went by quickly. I banged the gong today. I'll see if I can post a photo.

My MO gave me the official NED report - yippie ki aye!! And I finished radiation today - woo hoo!! I celebrated with lunch at Maggie's on the river with parents and sister and had 2 vodka tonics yum yum. Looking forward t a breast cancer retreat tomorrow at BS office,

I just read this article which I feel explains why we are so connected. I recommend this forum to all the breast cancer people I meet. I would have gotten thru this ordeal but not sanely. You all have made my adventure that much more sane, comforting, even enjoyable if I can say that about cancer. True angels👼

So what do we offer instead of "everything happens for a reason"?

The last thing a person devastated by grief needs is advice. Their world has been shattered. Inviting someone — anyone — into their world is an act of great risk. To try to fix, rationalize, or wash away their pain only deepens their terror.

Instead, the most powerful thing you can do is acknowledge. To literally say the words:

I acknowledge your pain. I'm here with you.

Note that I said with you, not for you. For implies that you're going to do something. That's not for you to enact. But to stand with your loved one, to suffer with them, to do everything but something is incredibly powerful.

There is no greater act for others than acknowledgment.

And that requires no training, no special skills — just the willingness to be present and to stay present, as long as is necessary.

Be there. Only be there. Don't leave when you feel uncomfortable or when you feel like you're not doing anything. In fact, it's when you feel uncomfortable and like you're not doing anything that you must stay.

I acknowledge your pain. I'm here with you.

Because it's in those places — in the shadows of horror we rarely allow ourselves to enter — where the beginnings of healing are found. This healing is found when we have others who are willing to enter that space alongside us. Every grieving person on earth needs these people.

Maryellen- that was a beautiful post and I agree with every word you and T shared. And I cannot add to it. Bless you all.

Belah, rant all you want. I'm shocked that you seem to get every stinking side effect there is. I know you know everything to try to deal with the side effects, and I'm sorry none of it seems to be working for you. I don't have any words of wisdom, just want you to know yes, somebody is listening.

On the bright side, you have some positives to show for this crap you have gone through You are still here and had a PCR to chemo, so hopefully that will count for something at the end of the day. Small consolation, I know. I get it. Waking up in the morning is sometimes still a painful process until I get my body moving. How is the reconstructive process going?

agreed. I tried explaining to a friend the other day about the fear, and not feeling so great still, and I got the usual "you need to stop thinking about it". Sometimes I have the most horrible thoughts like almost hoping I do recur just to show them how stupid they were. Has ANYONE else fallen so low as this?

Frau Doktor- this is how sick I am. My first thought was "did she mean it was normal for people to be well-intentioned but stupid and I still have to do the work?" Or; its normal to wish something awful like that when put in such an awful position....but I have to still do the work... Hahahaha

I will be pretty fucking enlightened by the time this is over.

But thanks. You always make me feel better. Just by being there. Listening. Being present in my life. Good Frau Doktor. 💗💗💗

oh, and most of you on Facebook know, but for those that aren't... My mom was just diagnosed with a new primary BC after 23 years cancer free. My kids now have both grandpas who have had prostate cancer, both grandmas who have had BC twice, a dad who had melanoma at 43, and a mom who had BC at 43 and 45. Hoping science makes quicker progress ontreating this stupid disease.

Ugh Karen. Did you have the genetic panel done? There's a lot of cancer in my family so I did, mostly to reassure my girls. Also figured if down the road they decided to get tested & something came up then that's part of their medical record, could be considered a pre-existing (yet non-existant) condition. This way it's part of mine and I am the pre-existing condition queen and already can't get life insurance do to my psychiatric diagnosis. But mine came up negative for everything.

I think that when I am employed and busier I won't fret as much. I have an interview next week for being in a substitute teaching pool. I will enter 2016 with a job, even if a temporary one until something full time comes along.

Oh, Karen, I am so sorry. It's not fair. It's just not f-ing fair.

Bekah: So nice to 'see' you back. We have all wondered how you were doing. And like Theresa said, you have had more than your share of crappy SE's.

I had an experience today I wanted to share with you all. We have an annual parenting seminar through our PTA. I LOVE it and look forward to it every year but this year I didn't commit to going because I didn't know how I would feel. They had a session on ADHD and I wanted to go since that is a huge struggle in our family. The lady who was giving the session described the often rough life we have in our house to a T. And then she said it. She had cancer. It was all I could do not to cry but I didn't. So after class I made it a point to go up and thank her and I told her I had cancer. There was a woman kind of staring at me and I was thinking 'Don't butt in on my private conversation, Bitch' and then she said it and I saw the tears in her eyes. SHE had it too! And woman standing behind me whom I hadn't seen yet said 'Why do you think I am wearing this hat'? It was unbelievable and moving at the same time. The instructor hugged me and I chatted a bit with the lady in the hall as we were leaving. Only the women going through it understand.

Maryellen: Congrats on finishing!!! I am so happy to hear your SE's were minimal.

Feeling a little better this morning. Still achy and tired but emotionally better.

Reconstruction is almost done. I have my exchange surgery on Fri 11/13 with fat grafting and I'm hoping that wraps up my reconstruction.

I don't even want to think about recurrence yet so I'm totally ignoring that possibility for now. Once I get through this I'm sure that will start popping into my mind but for now I'm still busy trying to get better from the initial dx!

Bekah

Bekah glad your feeling a bit better today. Here's to a day of good thoughts and hopes your ses stay away.

Allison what a story, four women. Cancer sucks!!

Not sure if anyone else has attended a local breast cancer support group but I find it very comforting. Yesterday I attended a retreat which wasn't a retreat but just a group session. We did breathing and positive listening and laughing therapy. The facilitator is from Australia, she is the sister of the main doctor in my breast surgeons office. She was awesome, wish I lived in Australia so I could go to her yoga/therapy sessions. I met a couple of very nice survivors. I love how they've been there done that.

PB- keeping you in my thoughts as Wednesday approaches. Hugs.

Did any of you see that story on Yahoo about 6 sister that all got it? The comments were beyond ignorant.

neverthought yes this is the place to celebrate pain free, well formed pooping lol!

Allison, I see an article with 7 Boston sisters diagnosed, last one was last year. Is that the article you mean? I particularly got irate at the comment that said it was their eating habits. Assholes