Just found out today - I have breast cancer.

etnasgrl
etnasgrl Member Posts: 650
edited November 2015 in Just Diagnosed

I feel like I have walked into someone else's world. Surely this can't be mine. But....it is. I have breast cancer. At 41.

I don't know anything about my cancer except that it is Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. My doctor had not received the pathology report yet. The radiologist called to let her know and she called me. She said that once she receives the report, she will contact me so I can pick up a copy.
She did tell me that she has referred me to a medical oncologist from MD Anderson, (I live in the Houston area), who specializes in breast cancer and he should be contacting me soon. Treatment options and info about my tumor will be discussed then, I guess.

I feel totally lost. I have absolutely NO idea what to do next.

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Comments

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited November 2015

    There is no need to do anything except absorb the shock, most cáncer is slow growing so don´t feel like you need to panic into making decisions or doing anything.  Wait until you get your pathology report, look up all the questions you need to ask at that appointment on this site.......do you have a partner/Husband? Supportive friend? 

    THe main thing to do right now is be kind to yourself and remember that there are thousands and thousands of us on here, all still alive and many of us on the other side of treatments, no it is not an easy ride, but there is loads of support here..........sorry you have had to join us


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  • softness1
    softness1 Member Posts: 217
    edited November 2015

    """Hugs"""

    November 6, 2012 I was 41 and was told the same thing. I thought my world was over.. Cry, yell, take deep breaths and then get ready to fight!!! I'm so sorry that you had to come here but this board really is a wealth of knowledge. Read through it. I had no one to really talk to and thought I was alone but being able to talk to others going through the same thing was a God sent. Get your pathology report and ask a bunch of questions regardless of how ridiculous you may think they are. My doctor was very honest and told me that I was going to have a tough year. He was correct but I got through it and you will too!!!!

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  • Racy
    Racy Member Posts: 2,651
    edited November 2015

    Lily has given good advice. You could make an appointment with your primary doctor to talk when you pick up the report. After I was diagnosed (5 years ago), I saw my doctor that day and the next just to talk. It helped me to be able to voice to a professional what I was thinking and feeling. 

    I was 48 and felt that I was too young for bc but there are many young ladies here unfortunately.

    Take the earliest specialist appointment you can get. This will also help with your shock and anxiety.

    Get back to us with your path report. There is info on this site about how to interpret it and we can help you too.

    One thing is certain: if you have to endure bc, the best place for authoritative information, support and friendship is right here. Welcome ;(.

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  • JerseyRenee01
    JerseyRenee01 Member Posts: 221
    edited November 2015

    etnasgrl:

    Hi, I too was that 41 year old diagnosed just recently on Oct. 21. As others stated to me on here I now will pass on the same advice which is to take deep breaths & take it day by day!

    Trust me there will be a roller coaster of emotions! I have cried & got angry to the point I am sick of seeing pink. Just seeing it is a reminder my diagnosis happened during breast cancer awareness month.

    Not even a month after my diagnosis I have already seen medical oncologist, genetic counselor, breast surgeon, plastic surgeon & today MRI was done.

    Trust me we all know what you are going through! This is why the support you receive on here is so tremendously helpful!

    I am thinking of you! {{hugs}}


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  • etnasgrl
    etnasgrl Member Posts: 650
    edited November 2015

    Thank you all for such a supportive and warm welcome! I will have a thousand and one questions, for sure, so I'll be here quite a lot!

    I think right now, I'm just numb. Numb and scared.

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  • JerseyRenee01
    JerseyRenee01 Member Posts: 221
    edited November 2015

    that is normal emotions!!! Scared is certainly an emotion we all have encountered! It is shocking! I am a tough woman & mom! Trust me this has brought the weakness out of me. My girls arent used to seeing me cry & they are 21 & almost 14. They are used to the strong side of me & I need to continue that for them!

    You will be ok!!! 😘


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  • orlmagic
    orlmagic Member Posts: 7
    edited November 2015

    I know exactly how you feel. I just diagnosed with IDC this past Tuesday, and I still can't believe it. Me? Cancer? I'm 47, always had b9 biopsies. Not now! Going back to surgeon tomorrow to discuss the pathology report. I have decided to gave a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. Meeting with breast cancer plastic surgeon next Thursday. I can't believe I just wrote that...still stunned.

    But, having said all thay, please do this...breath, pray and talk about it with us and family and anyone that will listen. You are not alone. All of us understand and feel what you feel right now. Love and hugs.

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  • orlmagic
    orlmagic Member Posts: 7
    edited November 2015

    I know exactly how you feel. I just diagnosed with IDC this past Tuesday, and I still can't believe it. Me? Cancer? I'm 47, always had b9 biopsies. Not now! Going back to surgeon tomorrow to discuss the pathology report. I have decided to gave a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. Meeting with breast cancer plastic surgeon next Thursday. I can't believe I just wrote that...still stunned.

    But, having said all that, please do this...breath, pray and talk about it with us and family and anyone that will listen. You are not alone. All of us understand and feel what you feel right now. Love and hugs.

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  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited November 2015

    MDAnderson is one of THE best ca centers in the country!! Get a pad and start writing your questions. Nothing is too dumb to ask.

    You want this out yesterday, and it will seem the process is slow. Many tests may happen. It's ok. You will get through it. We are here.

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  • Starsong
    Starsong Member Posts: 11
    edited November 2015

    Do you have a Nurse Practioner? I think that is the worlds best invention. They know the questions you should ask, even though you don't. They go to appointments with you and provide support throughout the ordeal and after. San Antonio's Methodist Hospital division has them. I tell you that mine has helped me IMMENSLY! Please ask.


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  • sandcastle
    sandcastle Member Posts: 587
    edited November 2015

    The Good News is...you will be able to go to MD Anderson......Shock....that sure is part of it.....It is almost like you are outside of your Body watching all of this.....BUT....all of this take time to get through.....my Best....Liz

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  • Smurfette26
    Smurfette26 Member Posts: 730
    edited November 2015

    Sorry you have found yourself here etnasgrl. This really is the hardest time.

    The strength, hope and inspiration you will find here is amazing. Embrace it.

    Sending love and light. Donna.

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  • Bunnyhuggr
    Bunnyhuggr Member Posts: 57
    edited November 2015

    Etnasgrl, sending hugs to you!! I've been checking the boards the last few days, hoping to see your post that you got B9 results. I'm sorry that wasn't the case :( I'll continue to keep you in my prayers!!

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  • VioletKali
    VioletKali Member Posts: 243
    edited November 2015

    Hi =) I am Cari, I am a 1 year and 5 month survivor. I received my news on June 14th of 2014, 3 weeks shy of my 32nd birthday. I have zero, zilcho family history. I was shocked, but at the same time I *knew* it was cancer. It has all of the features of cancer.

    It took me a good week to process the initial "Oh crap", and I am still surprised that I ended up with cancer. I do not have any risk factors, and I am/was at peak health and fitness.

    It is 100% okay to take time to process this. Being in shock is normal. It is also normal to cry, scream, and be pissed off.

    ((hugs))

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  • Penzance
    Penzance Member Posts: 101
    edited November 2015

    Hi Etna.

    I was 39 and couldn't believe it either: no family history, reasonably fit, healthy BMI, and everyone had told me it looked like a bog standard fibroadenoma. I was very, very shocked and extremely angry. Still am, especially after stupid Pinktober.

    Looks like your radiologist and doctor are on the ball. MD Anderson has a great reputation, you're lucky to live nearby. Hope people around you are supportive.

    Lots of info on here, don't hesitate to ask questions, and I would second the notebook tip. It helps you 'screen' doctors too: I find out that I don't get along with the ones who won't let me ask questions.

    Best wishes.

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  • etnasgrl
    etnasgrl Member Posts: 650
    edited November 2015

    Thank you so much everyone! Thank you!!!

    Smile

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  • tarry
    tarry Member Posts: 156
    edited November 2015

    my surgery was just over 4 years ago at MD Anderson. They,ll give you first class treatment, but you may feel pressurized to go with their alternative, as opposed to what you really want. I had a several months long disagreement with a number of drs. I wanted a lumpectomy, but they were really insisting I have a masectomy with implants. There's an idea that recovery involves getting as close to your pre-cancer look as possible. That might be what you want and, if so, you'll get the best there is. Otherwise, insist on what makes you feel best, as long as it is medically effective.

    There is another problem. Once you are through the initial treatment, it can be hard to get to see a doctor. I have't seen one since dec 2011, even though I go for 6 months checkups. You are stuck with nurse practitioners. I ended up going through patient advocacy to get to see a doctor


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  • mesharon1959
    mesharon1959 Member Posts: 16
    edited November 2015

    I have NO family history of cancer on either of my parent's side anywhere, nothing with any of my kids either. However, I have the distinction of being the "Cancer Queen" of my family. I defeated ovarian cancer at age 14, and I can beat my DCIS too. Waiting on my second surgery - surgeon didn't take a large enough margin - so I have the thrill of that coupled with the pathology....fingers are crossed. Trying to stay as positive as I can.

    When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, my attitude was "People are cured of cancer every day". I went through my surgery, chemo etc.....never had a recurrence. It wasn't until my annual mammo last year the technician told me that ovarian cancer is related to many types of breast cancer. Somehow in my psyche I think that knowing that 'fun fact' brought it on.....of course we're all looking for a reason.....an excuse.....for having breast cancer. That's mine. Ignorance is bliss!

    And, somehow I just knew when the imaging place called me back for an ultrasound on something they saw on my mammo in August (and yes I'd had MANY ultrasounds and one FNA that were B9 over the years) that I had cancer. I had a very strong feeling, and even went so far as to tell the HR dept. so I could get my short term disability paperwork in the event I might have to take extended time off. I'm mentally blocking the discomfort of the upcoming RADS and the estrogen blocker side effects....only because I think the surgery is going to be the easy part. Also blocking out medical billings that are probably already rolling in - so I'm not checking the mail....I will face every event as it comes and not before. I'm eating this elephant one bite at a time because I know it's not going to be eaten in one day. That's my version of 'one day at a time'.

    Of course I'm telling all of my friends to go get regular mammograms!! It's shocking to me how so many women don't go regularly. It's like playing "Russian Roulette" in my opinion, but I've been cysty and lumpy my whole adult life - and have been going annually for mammos (and well woman checks) since my late twenties.

    I finally told all my adult kids and my brother (sparing my 83 year old mother unless it gets messy for me down the road), have only told one of my girlfriends, and of course my S/O has been with me through this experience from the beginning. I can't stomach the idea of telling all my friends - I have enough issues with anxiety and telling people about it sends my anxiety through the roof! Plus I HATE being pitied. And my friends will all pity me - except the one I told. She's not the type to exude pity.

    So - bottom line - we're all vulnerable to BC, no matter how healthy our lifestyle is. We just have to accept our fate, get the best team of doctors, make the decisions that are best for us and get busy fighting.

    Best wishes to all with warm gentle hugs, and may our worst fears be squelched and our fight be brave!!!

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