Personal trainer is over demanding - HELP!

dani_katze141914 · October 2015

Hi,

I would like you opinions about training with my current personal trainer.

Before surgery (mastectomy and reconstruction 2011) I used to do sports at gym (anaerobic and aerobic excercises, pilates, dance, etc). After surgery, I wait to do sports again and avoid working the chest. Instead I do some aerobics like spinning. But I realized that my cardiovascular resistance is low.

Well, this year I decided to contract a personal trainer near home that has a gym in his house. I explained him my situation, that I have to take tamoxifen (and he knows that this drug limits my energy), pointing that my goal is to improve physical and mental health, but I guess he doesn't understand what it means. In my point of view or maybe because of my low resistance, he's too demanding and not nice at all. He also give me a proteic diet where I have to eat 6 times in a day. The good thing is that with diet, supplements I increased my energy, because I used struggle with fatigue.

BUT, because of his demanding, I feel really exhausted. For instance: yesterday I trained on the eliptical machine for more than an hour, but with a high resistance, where he pushed me to do the excercise faster than I really could. I am over demaning to myself too, so it's frustrating when I feel that I can't do what he ask me for or to see that during aerobics I feel shortness of breath, that after training I can't sleep at night and have to take a sedative and the at the next day I hardly can do anything else.

I told him before that I need to start slow with exercise, but I think he doesn't understand. I kind of regrest paying this personal trainer, as I see him me more like a seargent... and this frustrates me mentally...

I used to feel fatigue and I guess is because of tamoxifen and also because in 1992 my thyroid was removed because of a tumor. I wonder if its just me, mentally, that I feel that I can't do what my personal trainer ask me for, or its because my body can't do it due to this medical history.

Any insight is welcome.

Thanks

Daniela

SummerAngel · October 2015

What qualifications does he have? If he's not properly trained and certified, and especially if he has no specific training working with post-matectomy patients (with lymphedema prevention techniques), I would run.

leggo · October 2015

Hi Daniela. My opinion? No, it's not you. You've been through a lot and without really knowing both sides of the story, I'd have to guess the guy is just one of those jacked-up jocks working out of mom's basement with one focus and no hint of common sense. I've met many....my sons are bodybuilders and one trains for extra cash. There's NO WAY a personal trainer is going to know anything about how to train someone who's been through what you've been through unless they've expanded their knowledge base with other certificates, degrees etc. Not to mention, if it's making you feel like crap, he's not doing a very good job. Keep in mind, a good trainer is supposed to work with body, mind and spirit.

Can you ask for your money back or are you locked in a contract? Is it a private party or associated with a chain? If it's a chain, I think you might have some recourse.

dani_katze141914 · October 2015

Thanks for your quick respond. He said he worked with women that took tamoxifen, but I guess he has no common sense at all.

I feel know that I don't want to work out anymore with him and to quit diet, I feel really overwhelmed.

I paid for him but without contract, it's private, so I think talking to him and emaiiling to explain what I feel, what I expect, if he's reasonable and if not I run... and yes he makes me feel like crap!

What do you think?

leggo · October 2015

If you're paying per session, please just quit. You don't owe an explanation. There ARE good trainers out there, I promise. Him saying he's worked with tamoxifen also makes me suspicious as well. Some bodybuilders use tamoxifen as their drug of choice. That's probably the extent of his experience....guys who take it. I think he's probably lying to get the next cheque from you.

leggo · October 2015

Sorry, hit the delete button by mistake. I meant to edit. I'll see if the mods can get it back. - If you're paying per session, please just quit. You don't owe an explanation. There ARE good trainers out there, I promise. Him saying he's worked with tamoxifen also makes me suspicious as well. Some bodybuilders use tamoxifen as their drug of choice. That's probably the extent of his experience....guys who take it. I think he's probably lying to get the next cheque from you.

LuvLulu07 · October 2015

As a certified instructor trained in breast cancer surgery recovery and familiar with lymphedema prevention, I strongly suggest that you quickly back out of any more sessions with this trainer. He clearly does not have adequate qualifications to work with you. Having had surgery, reconstruction and node removal, you need someone extremely familiar with this situation.

I'm not sure what is available in your area, can you get referrals from your surgeon's or oncologist's office? Pink ribbon programs are also available in many parts of the world.

A gentle approach to exercise is best, you want and should feel better about yourself after exercise.

Hugs ~

rwiley4529 · October 2015

I live in northern Colorado, home of the University of Northern Colorado. They have an awesome program at the Rocky Mountain Cancer Research Institute, where they train Cancer Exercise Specialists, and they provide exercise training for cancer patients, free of charge, while they are in active treatment. They are fully aware of the limitations and side effects that cancer patients have to deal with.

You can check this list to see if any of the graduates are near you: http://www.unco.edu/rmcri/network.html

proudtospin · October 2015

I agree with the thoughts to bag this trainer! I have been a member of my gym in NJ for over 13 years and used trainers to keep me motivated and focused. Have had some fantastic trainers but also a few turkeys. My buddy Tim was great and is working on his PHD in physical therapy with a focus on cancer survivors. Loved him ! but well he got a job teaching at a local college and I lost him for private sessions. Someone recommended a dif trainer and the new trainer.....thought she was as good as Tim and she ended up injuring me! I spent the last year in physical therapy as she caused me to injure my back! Kettle bells are dangerous for folks!

Run fast from that guy, there are plenty of good trainers out there!

dani_katze141914 · October 2015

Thanks all of you for your input!

I have talked recently with him, explaining I want other goals and to work according to my possibilities. I emaild him explaining how frustating it was not being able to do everything he used to ask me and that I feel very insulting in some of his expressions... I really didn't want to quit that fast, because I have paid for two months, and I am just with him one month... and the idea for me is to do sports and have diet but not being extremly demanding by doing everything that far.. I am not looking for being a fitness or a super women, just get rid of the stress and having fun doing sports. Say that he called me inmediatly and said that he is willing to do so, and will ask me how do I feel (at least he used to do that) and to tell him when I feel I can't do more... he also said that being "insulting" is the way he works (I have seen this not only with me), and I replied that maybe it worked for others... I will see if this works tomorrow, if he changes or not... if not... I cancelled the checks...

leggo · October 2015

I'm also concerned that he's giving you advice on supplements. I'm happy it's giving you some strength back, but unless he's a qualified nutritionist/naturopath/dietician, and knows your health history, it's really not in his realm of expertise.

labelle · October 2015

I used to work at a gym that employed personal trainers. They were all certified but came in a lot of varieties-from the tough drill sargent kind to enthusiastic cheerleader types. The goal was to successfully match clients with trainers they could and would want to work with. This trainer might be great for someone else, but is obviously not working for you. Trainers work for you, not the other way around, and while we know exercise is important for BC survivors, overdoing it, working out to the point of exhaustion, is not beneficial.

proudtospin · October 2015

best also to explain to him that you are under doctors care for Cancer and while his suppliments may be fine for some, you do not want to take anything that interfers with your treatment without checking

hbcheryl · October 2015

Run run run as far away from him as possible, you know your own body, you've told him your limitations and he is not listening to you, like the others have said he works for you. Is he associated with a gym or strictly doing his own thing, if he is at a gym ask to change trainers, if he is working on his own tell him you'd like a refund and be careful with supplements as you never know what companies use as fillers.

dani_katze141914 · October 2015

Regarding supplement I am taking vitamins and minerals and aminoacids to recover better from training, what I feel it helps. The diet is based on protein and a lot vegetables, some cereals and fruits. The diet makes me feel really better, because I was really eating badly... no fruits, no vegetables at all. He also recommend me ginseng, but I ask for this supplement to my physician and he suggest me to abstain from this, because there is little reseach about this and the effect that may cause to people that survive breascancer. So instead I chosed guarana.

So, I think diet is not a problem, instead it helps me feeling better about energy. The problem was over demanding me on the training... The only thing that rest is that this guy is really not nice... well, will be me my first experience with a personal trainer that has no clue of cancer, I hope he learns a little bit with this...

leggo · October 2015

Thanks for explaining Daniela. A trainer most likely has a pretty good idea about diet requirements for whatever workout, or should, at least. You know your body best. Glad to hear you're running supplements by an expert.

dani_katze141914 · October 2015

Well this guy is not nice, but I at least he could explained the reason for the diet and as I have researched its according to the training. I just needed to stop his demanding...and demanding myself too! Tomorrow I will see if this is true, if not I cancelled the checks.

leggo · October 2015

Good luck tomorrow. Don't want to see you get hurt by some quack while trying to get yourself healthy again. That would be tragic.

dani_katze141914 · October 2015

thank you! I'll tell you!

dani_katze141914 · October 2015

Something that is contradictory from him... is that he has a son that he cares for, alone, who is paraplegic...!

Penzance · October 2015

Hi Dani,

He said himself he helps his clients achieve their goals (weight loss I guess) by 'insulting' them. The kind of clients this would help are the lazy, unmotivated bunch. This is absolutely not who you are. Don't renew your contract with him, and interview other trainers: ask them for references from existing clients if possible. Do check also for how long they've been with him.

I have a couple of instructors at my local gym and two physios who are absolutely fine with my dx and other ailments (herniated discs), although one of the physio is a bit squeamish (I'm the 2nd person around her with bc and she's worried she might be the 3rd!). They come in all shapes and sizes and ages, and 1 of them is male. They all have in common the fact that they're still practicing sports (not just 'teaching'), and have a personal experience of injury, and sometimes of ongoing health problems (e.g. broken wrist that will never completely heal, hypermobile joints syndrome...). Your best bet would be someone who was really unwell at that some point, and had to work really hard to get back to 'normal' health, not someone who's been well all their lives and take good health for granted.

I don't know what personal trainers' qualifications are like where you are, but in the UK, they're extremely easy to pass. I know several people who failed to get a university degree (sometimes more than once) and who still managed to become personal trainers. It's a bit like financial advisers: some people are technically savvy, but the majority are just salesmen.

By the way, 1 hour on the crosstrainer is a hell of a lot of time, especially if you're just starting to train! I only built up to that kind of workout gradually (when I was young and healthy...), and only regularly did sessions like that when I had the time to go to the gym/swimming pool 12-15 hours per week (of which 3-4 hours crosstrainer only). I would ice/heat my left knee after too as it is dodgy (muscular problem according to my physio!) and if it hurt too much, I would refrain from using the crosstrainer for several days and just do stretching exercises instead (I have several books and can spend 2 hours and a half just stretching!). On the crosstrainer I would start with VO2max sessions (in 'performance' on most menus): it only lasts 15-18 minutes and it gives you a figure to 'beat' the next time round. When you're using it, you need to concentrate on 'standing straight', lowering your shoulders, lengthening your neck and 'pulling your navel to your spine', otherwise you may injure yourself (esp. discs). And don't forget to stretch (piriformis, hamstrings, quads, calves) afterwards.

Kudos on getting back on track with your diet, and best wishes.

ruthbru · October 2015

Good Grief! He is working FOR you, not the other way around. He is not a good fit for your needs or personality either (nor would he be for me; I want someone who is positive, encouraging, and modifies for my wants and needs). Drop him like a hot potato!

coraleliz · October 2015

Maybe personal training is not the answer for you. Is there a local gym that offers classes. Even "bootcamp" classes are more fun than what you've described. I know people who take a class at the gym before work & one after they get off. I like all of the personal trainers at my gym. Some times they correct my form when I'm working out. But I like to put variety in my workouts & really don't do well with being told what to do. I think that ballet class my mom put me in when I was eight, ruined me for life(LOL)

Personal trainer is over demanding - HELP!

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