Terrible Experience with Oncologist

Ughhhhh!

Chances are there is very little additional informationspecific to you that anyone can give you until you have the results of the genetic testing and your surgical pathology, but that is no excuse for rudeness bordering on hostility. Not to worry about who your bs works with--all breast surgeons work with multiple oncologists, often in pretty far-flung geographical locations. Chances are your bs is very much aware that you are not the first person to opt out of treatment by this particular oncologist.

Why don't you call the breast center where your Monday consult is set up and see if you can see an oncologist as well? Long term, you might prefer to work with someone closer to home, but often the docs at the top centers direct, or at least, discuss, care administered by local oncs.

I don't know if you are angst-ing as I did about surgical options, but just in case, I'll mention that I remember being absolutely, and equally, torn between surgical options: Lumpectomy, mastectomy, double mastectomy (with DIEP reconstruction). I simply could not decide. Eventually I chose lumpectomy, just to get the darned thing out and find out exactly what we were dealing with. If I didn't like what I learned, insurance would have to cough up the one or two mastectomies. As it happened, I found I was very happy with the lumpectomy.

If I had this experience, I would find another MO. I wouldn't want to dismiss my first impression and have regrets.

I love my MO and consider myself fortunate to have been guided to her. It's a good thing, because we are going to be working together for 10 years.

None of my docs were ever short with me. They took their time and answered all of my questions.

Girl53, so sorry for your experience. Please before you decide anything seek out a second opinion from another MO. You need someone on your side which she probably but you deserve an MO who can work with you. Hugs

If you have a pretty good relationship with your breast surgeon see if they have a different recommendation for MO. I am sorry that the meeting didn't go well. It's important to have a medical team you can trust and communicate well with. Good luck.

I fired my first--not enough time to answer my questions, told me to "trust" him instead. Since he acknowledged that he didn't check my menopausal status before putting together my hormone blocking plan, no. In addition, the staff were always in chaos about appointments and orders, and the facility was grim. Nope.

girl53---so sorry you had to go thru that, her bedside manner sounds awful! I hope you can find another oncologist who you can have a better relationship with, as this person is someone you will be seeing for a long time. Having said that, they can only guide you so much with their medical knowledge, and then sometimes it comes down to person choice, about difficult treatment decisions and the amount of risk you are comfortable living with.

Hope your upcoming appts will be a better experience.

anne

girl53, I too am not pleased with my MO. The doc herself is meh, I neither liked nor disliked her. My issue is with the facility and staff. Making my appointment was a major task (multiple office locations, minimal availability at each), Checking out after my appointment, I commented that they seemed pretty busy. The girl checking me out said yes, they were very busy. "I don't even know why we are taking new patients". Really???? This is what you say to a new patient??? It was all downhill from there, it actually got worse. I will absolutely NOT be returning there.

Meeting with BS next Tuesday, I will ask her for another MO recommendation.

As others suggested, run, as fast as you can. Her attitude toward you was completely inappropriate and unacceptable.

Girl53, the MO may have been frustrated being asked questions for which she did not yet have the answers, but that doesn't negate being rude. It also doesn't seem like the kind of question that would have been impossible to answer. If I understand it, you have a bad family history, and your questions were about risk/plan if the testing is negative? I don't understand why she could not give you some idea of options in that case. I understand a "don't put the cart before the horse" mentality, but there's also something to be said for considering your carts and horses if there's not a huge number of possibiilties you are hypothesizing about. In any case, it's not very likely you'd be able to repair that relationship. You can ask other people besides your surgeon for recommendations. If you know any doctors, ask them, and ask women you know who may have had breast cancer.

Girl if you remain unhappy with your MO, may I make a suggestion for a guy in the DC area? Private message me if you want info. I had a great experience with mine Take care.