Waiting On Reconstruction When New Lump Appears

Where do I file my anxiety, Stage 3 Breast Cancer, Reconstruction, Waiting on Tests; so here I am.

Big decision to undergo delayed breast reconstruction four years out. Had a choice, fat transfer or implant, or SGAP. Chose the former and then changed my mind to implant. That was in June and July. Now it is September and yes a new lump in the other breast. Surprised, not really. Shocked, yes! This spring my oncologist set up an additional every six month manual exam for the next five years with my doctor, in addition to a yearly mammiogram. Lobular often reoccurs in other the breast in a mirror like form. Two years ago I had a lump, found several months after surgery for single breast reduction was told (checked twice) scar tissue. Doctor today organizing a diagnostic mammiogram. In Canada, this means within three weeks.

So what to do with this anxiety. Don't want to tell anyone, fellow gym club members, friends, or family living close by, as I do not want my health to be followed. I know I am more likely to die than to live with this cancer. However, I figured I was not going to be in the group with early reoccurrence, but with the second group, late reoccurrence. Obviously, diagnosed Stage 3 with O/S tumour puts me on the top of that list. That is, 65% eventually pass from cancer, the median, half within nine years, and the other half within twenty. And of course, hoping, wishing, to be in the 35% who never die from breast cancer.

I already am feeling better stating all of this. So happy, my brother's line was busy when I called him (he lives 3000 miles away). I just wanted to tell someone. Thank you ladies for being here. I hope this lump is not cancer. And if it is not, I will probably proceed with reconstruction, except, may be I will go back to fat transfer. I read the PS letter advising my doctor that my skin was exceptional and that I even had some subcutaneous fat left to start the procedure. He, however, did advise that implant reconstruction was more reliable, BUT when queried, said 15-25% implant will not work. Jumping ahead, I know. Just trying to get as far away from myself as I can.