Newly diagnosed & scared

You will hear it a lot here... the testing and treatment planning is the worst, it actually is easier when you start tx so hang in there. For me, that was true... I know that many people don't feel comfortable sharing their diagnosis early on, although I did find one huge benefit: survivors come out of the woodwork to support you and I found people that could play the role of navigator for me! Plus of course everyone on the board here will support you through this. Just ask away!

Hi butterflykd, I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but I have to tell you that the fact that you found this website will be tremendously helpful on so many levels. I was diagnosed back in April and my friend sent me to this site being a BC survivor herself, and I didn't go on it until a week or 2 ago. The women here are so supportive, we have all been through the same terrorizing feeling of a diagnosis, the tremendous fears that we all face as we move into treatment, and the hundreds of questions that race through our minds daily. I too was unable to concentrate, and yet I moved through this one day, sometimes one moment at a time. I kept exercising through the whole thing as best I could to help keep my endorphin's up and my attitude healthy. And yes, I have had some days where I couldn't move from the overwhelm, but you will find a strength inside yourself that keeps you moving forward because you have to. For me this has been a huge wake-up call, I want to learn from it as best I can but I am still scared. My life is more precious to me now, even though it was precious before. I want to focus on the most important things in my life and not sweat the small stuff. And I'm trying to utilize this time in my treatment to get reunited with my personal passions because there is healing in find time and space for those now more than ever. We are here for you, and you are not alone. Sending blessings and hugs!!

Dear butterflykdh, welcome to BC.org. We are so glad you are here with us, although we hate the reason....so sorry about your recent diagnosis.

As you can already see you'll find great support and encouragement here among these wonderful ladies! Please keep us posted on how everything is going, we're thinking of you!

The Mods

Hi Butterfly:

In your profile, you have listed tumor size, but not HER2 status.

• Tumor Size: 1cm-1.9cm

Are you awaiting the results of a HER2 assessment? This might affect treatment recommendations prior to surgery.

BarredOwl

No, second opinions are not obligatory! If you can get them with minimal fuss and expense, then sure. If there seems to be a discrepancy between what your oncologists are suggesting and the national guidelines for your stage of cancer, then sure. (though in that case, I'd suggest also asking YOUR oncologists about the discrepancy as well)

Otherwise, don't worry about it!

BarredOwl: sorry, you're right! though I don't know if OP had the test done and didn't list it (I forgot to list mine until you brought it up just now.)

Hi, dear sister.  Welcome to this site.  I am 17 years post treatment, 80 years old and in good health.  Remember, about 80% of BC sufferers recover completely and go on with their lives.  It is a tough year, scary and lonely.  But you will do fine and come back to help others.  Most of the gals I first met have long ago got on with life.  Come often with any topic and our sisters will talk you through, gentle hugs Shirlann

Hi Butterflykdh:

Great news on the MRI. It is also nice to see the oncologist coordinating your care with an expert.

BarredOwl

hello sweetie, u have come to the right place for people that been there, most of us here, i know that feeling of being overwhelmed, i was planning our 2nd wedding when i found my lump, but once treatment plans are in effect things will calm down some, but i come back to give HOPE cause with my faith it got me through, i m here to Inspire others, i am now a 21yr survivor(Praise GOD) , Positive thinking, saying to myself "this too shall pass," i will make it thru. We here are in my prayers daily. msphil(idc,stage 2, idc, L mast, chemo and rads and 5yrs on tamoxifen)

Hello Butterfly,

I'm very pleased that you are finding the support that you need through this ordeal. The tone of your posting does demonstrate the confidence that comes with good support, and I am so very glad for you. (And, I will keep in touch with you about the breast cancer groups in our area).

As to the decisions you are now facing, I do have 2 things to share.

First, on the choice of reconstruction, that is completely a personal decision, one that you must make for yourself. That being said, it is my opinion that the default position of the breast cancer treatment community is to advise and opt for reconstruction. That was certainly my experience, and I have spoken to others who share my opinion. I chose against immediate reconstruction, deciding that I wanted to heal and experience life without breasts, and pursue a choice of the many reconstruction methods available only after I knew I was dissatisfied with life without reconstruction. It is also my opinion that many ladies proceed with reconstruction without understanding the full extent of the risks. Among my community of family and friends, I was personally aware of many women who encountered very serious and debilitating complications with reconstruction, implant rupture, infection, contractions, to name a few. My primary goal is health and function, and adding to risks in that area, at least without knowing what the flat life would actually be like for me, was beyond my comfort zone. That being said, I did go into BMX as an A cup, so flat is not that far from my life anyway. So bottom line, I think it is critical to understand the risks and evaluate whether the benefit outweighs those risks for you.

And secondly, as to the choices of LX, MX, BMX, I will share that I approached the decision by sharing with the BS, the rad doc, and the MO, my personal priorities in life and work along with treatment. And like you, I do have a family history of breast cancer. All of these specialists met in what is called tumor board and make recommendations for treatment. I had no personal preference for LX or MX, other than not wanting unnecessarily aggressive surgery. I wanted the advice that they would give to their own mother on how to proceed, taking into account what they knew of the medical issues in combination with my personal issues. The advice was BMX, and that is what I did. I know that the trend is to put the patient in charge of the decision, but my decision was to follow the course the surgeon would choose for her own family.

There are so many contingencies in our decisions and treatments that it really can simply wear you out!! Wishing you the very best in your treatment!