Rejected by partner because I have cancer again.

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Myosteo
Myosteo Member Posts: 7
edited September 2015 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

My partner and I have been together for 43 years. When I had breast cancer (progesterone +, estrogen +, HER - ) in 2009 she was supportive. When I was diagnosed in March 2015 with Triple Negative she was at first supportive but following surgery in April and the start of Chemotherapy she totally rejected me. She started sleeping 20 hours a day, refused to help me with any household chores, wouldn't help me care for our 3 dogs and told me it was my fault I had cancer again. Nothing I say will change her stand. I finished Chemotherapy last week and now she tells me I am using my cancer for attention. For an excuse to avoid the housework I should be doing! Has anyone been in this situation? I would appreciate suggestion. Thank you.

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  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited September 2015

    Myosteo: I'm concerned about your partner's strange behavior. Her responses are so inappropriate, that I wonder about her mental health. Inappropriate anger and excessive sleeping could be signs of depression or the beginnings of dementia. Try not to take her behavior personally (easier said than done) and see if you can get her to a doctor for a complete eval. I could be completely wrong here,, but that's the first thing that came to my mind,, especially since she was so supportive last time.

    I'm so sorry that you are dealing with cancer again,, and having this difficulty with your partner. Hoping you will find some answers. 43 years is a long time to be together.

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  • Myosteo
    Myosteo Member Posts: 7
    edited September 2015

    Dear Glennie:

    After months of her refusing to go to the Neurologist she finally went last week. She is being tested for Dementia. I will go to the follow-up appointment when she gets the testing results. She already takes medication for Bi-polar disorder, something she has dealt with since a teenager. I appreciate your thoughts. I'll let you know what I learn later this month. Thank you. Myosteo

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  • queenmomcat
    queenmomcat Member Posts: 3,039
    edited September 2015

    Myosteo: thank you for updating. I'd too be concerned that your partner's reactions are indicative of her mental health status more than her reaction to your new diagnosis.

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