anyone starting chemo in Nov 2005

Hi everyone! I had my yearly mammo, 3 month chest x-ray & labs, and doctor's appt. yesterday. Other than some low blood counts, everything looked good. The doc said I didn't need a pet scan or muga heart scan even though that was what I was told at the beginning of chemo. So........hopefully they know what they are doing! I sometimes find it difficult to put so much trust & control in other people. I need to concentrate on GOOD stuff!! Like the strength & friendship I find here!!!

Prayers for continued healing, unfailing courage, lasting endurance, and peace for all!
LAT56

Kim, I hope you got good news today! I think about you every day.

I am plugging along- Herceptin every 3 weeks and just had my post-op appointment with PS. Everything looks great 5 weeks later, all healed up already. Stage II will be in January. 3 bits of good news: 1. I don't have to ever wear a bra again if I don't want to, ps says I am "starting over" 2. He does the tatts in the OR when he does the nipple surgery, so this saves me a trip 3. He is going to lipo the sides of my abdominal incision and my thighs too!

So I will be doing Herceptin until Jan 2008. My echo is scheduled for December. I find out Nov. 8th if I need my thyroid out. Waiting to hear if I qualify for the vaccine trial.

Rest of my life is great. I wrote my bc story and a friend is supposed to get it published in her collection of stories next year. Will keep you posted.

Kim- if you need anymore mojo stories to make you laugh- just let me know!

Have a great weekend ladies!

Margerie

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Prayers for continued healing, unfailing courage, lasting endurance, and peace for all!

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Thanks, LAT56 for such an uplifting prayer. Glad to hear your good news. Hope it's not snowing too much in your area. We're still dealing with 80-90 degree weather. It's been a long summer, we're ready for some cool weather already.

Kim - I'm thinking of you. Hope to hear from you soon.

Anna - I'm doing great on Femara. The first few months were a little rough due to the drastic drop in estrogen. I had a lot of stiffness in my hands and feet and a lot of joint pains. Then one day I woke up and it felt like something had settled in my body, no more aches and pains. Now I'm back to normal.

Mary Lou - Glad you are okay. The car can always get fixed...just a minor inconvenience.

Well ladies, this week was tough. First, DH had to take me to the ER because I could barely stand up due to severe dizziness and lightheadedness. ER MD thinks I was going to get an ear or sinus infection and it affected my middle ear. So I ended up with Vertigo instead. He gave me one Antivert and I slept for two days!!! So weird, no pain and no other symptoms. I'm fine now. Second, my BP has been very high, meds are being adjusted. Third, cholesteral is high. I never had a problem before. I went to see a Lipids expert who suggested I bring it down with diet and exercise versus meds. I'll try it for the next few months and will get tested again in January.

Yikes...I really need some serious time management in order to juggle family, job, house chores, bc treatments, MD appointments and now have to find time to go to the gym and cook healthier meals. Oh...and let's not forget the forever quest of a healthier mojo. Hahaha...hahaha...hahaha...life is great!!!

Love and hugs,
Odalys

I wish you got better news too! I know this is so hard for you and your family and it just sucks!!

I am wondering if you could get Tykerb or some other drug in clinical trial? I am sure you want to throw everything at it! I hope the MRI shows at least one of these spots is something benign. And your new combo is the magic potion to shrink those puppies.

Dear Kim, hang in there- thinking about you still! You are due for some good luck here soon.

Oh Kim, that really sucks. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear. Please remember that God does LOVE you, and He will be by your side as this lousy journey continues a little longer than you had hoped. I groaned out loud the entire time I was reading your message. I think all of us here would agree that we are feeling your struggles right beside you.
We love you, and are here for you!
Love and prayers, Debbie
PS-no news for me to share right now! How odd is that?

I just feel so sad for you Kim. I was hoping the news would be better. Many prayers will be said for you from our sisterhood. I agree with Deb, God will walk with you through this hard journey.

Hi to all, we had a wonderful time at bridge day. One guy was killed when his shoot didn't open. It made the headlines on the news. I think CNN had coverage too.

I will post a picture of the bridge and a few shots of the leaves.

I wore my wig part of the day. I just felt more like me. How sad is that

It was really beautiful in the mountains, the sun messed up some of my pictures. But you can get an idea. The moutain picture of me is just a few miles from my house.




Here is a face shot of me in March 2005



And one this week end. Same wig, a little less chin LOL


March 2005 hair.


October 2006 Real hair



Wow, all in 7 months.

Here is a new one of my Granddaughter.

Beautiful pictures, Mary Lou! Yes, I had read about the man whose shoot didin't open. That bridge is truly incredible! Your hair looks a lot like mine, very full and curly, but shortish. I don't think you need the wig at all, just my opinion. You have such a beautiful face and smile.

I hope things go well on Wednesday, Kim. I am thinking of you and include you in all my prayers.

Odalys, you did have a terrible week. It's the cholesterol and blood pressure problems that alarm me about the AIs, also the bone issues, but you seem to be over those. I have started the gym and really try to eat well, because I am already borderline in the BP and cholesterol department.

I just find everything so very confusing right now, esp. since I went back to see the first oncologist I saw last October yesterday. She is at a big teaching hospital and it is pretty far away, so she suggested I go to someone closer to home for chemo, which is what I did. She had said I could always come back if I had questions, so since I wanted some clarification on whether or not there would be any benefits to my taking an AI, I went. What she did is throw everything into question for me. She said my path report wasn't clear enough to answer that question and that my slides should be sent to her lab for re-studying. She also said that if it turns out I am er-positive, she would recommend Tamoxifen, because she thinks the benefits are better. But I am now post-menopausal! It also didn't help that she made us wait two hours and I was first seen by a fourth-year student, probably age 24, very very green, who asked stupid questions, was very awkward, and did a breast exam, asking more stupid questions. I'm all for rotations and learning on the job, but to have my poor reconstructed breasts as a learning tool was too much for me. I was so sweet about it all during the visit, but I totally fell apart last night. I haven't fallen apart like that in a while. I simply do not know what to think now. Another thing is she was "surprised" my oncologist is waiting till after I finish Herceptin to start me on hormonal manipulation.

Maybe I was wrong to want a second opinion. Maybe there IS a problem with my path report. It is all piecemeal with four addendums. I don't want to go back to that teaching hospital, because the wait, the student, the parking, the traffic, all that is unbearable.

I just don't know what to do. Maybe I will at least post the Tamoxifen question on the hormone board to see if anyone has experience with that.

Sorry to spill everything here. My issues seem pretty small compared to many, but they still keep me up at night.

I wish everything were clearcut.

Love to all,

Anna

Lat56 - I watched the movie, it was OK. I felt she lacked depth. I usually cry at the drop of a hat but not this time. It seemed too prepped for "hollywood", not enough emotions. I kept waiting for her to have the melt down we tend to have when first diagnosed...didn't see that.

Anna- My onc really believes in keeping me menopausal in order to treat me with Femara. He said he has seen too much recurrence on Tamoxifen. I hope they can come up with a treatment plan for you soon, the wait has to be unnerving. I know what you mean about being seen by a "green resident". Last week I saw a resident endocrinologist who obviously knows very little about breast cancer based on the questions he was asking. He almost got annoyed with him. But, then realized that his specialty is Lipids not bc and decided to educate him instead. The Chief of the service also did not understand the effects of Femara on cholesterol but at least he told me he would research it and speak with my onc before our next visit. I stay with them because they are part of a lipids study going on in the hospital. Perhaps, my bc experience can help someone else.

ML - I love to see the leaves changing color. We don't get to see that here. You look great both with the new hair and with the wig.

Will sign off now. I want to eat dinner in time to watch dancing with the stars.

Love and hugs,
Odalys

I watched the movie and was very emotional, but like Odalys I didn't cry much. Anthony started to watch and then stopped.
Off to dr's. Thanks for all the hugs and prayers.

Kim

Hi everyone,
Daniel went down for a nap SUPER late today, so I really shouldn't even be on the computer right now. There are grocery bags all over the kitchen floor with stuff waiting to be put away (that is why Daniel was late for his nap, Mommy thought she could power shop at Wal Mart like she used to a year ago).

Anyway, I just really, really MISS you all. Heaven knows I hated going through chemo, but I did LOVE the fact that I had nothing else to do in the outside world, so I could come "visit" you all as often as I wanted! Now, it is just so stinkin' busy! Daniel and I both seem to have appointments every day.

I wanted to add to the discussion about the movie on Lifetime. Greg recorded it for me, but I haven't watched it. However, I did see her article in the TV Guide, and just wasn't totally moved. I agreed completely with the first paragraph, which mentioned how she became more defiant against the cancer by changing her "style."

In the past 4 months or so, I have changed my style from being a modest dressing, teacher-style, mom-jean wearing woman, to wearing trendy jeans and the most trendy and feminine tops I can find! I am wearing make-up that has been carefully applied, and am making several efforts to be more of a WOMAN because without breasts and (before) without hair, I didn't feel like one, and I wanted to fight back. I wanted to be more of a lady. I have been wearing skirts more now than I have in the past 5 years!

So, as far as that movie is concerned, I have to fight the urge to be frustrated, and yell at the television that she was not the only person to fight cancer! I honor and salute every one of us for our fight, don't get me wrong, but I just get irked when people are spotlighted for their fight and make it seem like they are the only ones who had to shave their head, etc.

I just wish that television would acknowledge ALL of us.

Anna, I agree with a post you said a while back about how you hate the commercial "If you were my sister....." (that's how it started, right?) Oh how I hate those commercials, too.

I did read a FANTASTIC article in Glamour from this month. It is a section called, "The breast cancer diaries." A lady chronicled her journey with photos (which I have tried to do, but not nearly as well as she did!). Both ladies really tell it like it is. There is also a "cartoon," which is supposed to be funny, but has a fantastic message.

Kim-I am praying for you so hard I can't even describe it. I know you don't want or need "pity," but just know that my heart aches for what you and your hubby are stuck with right now. Let that battle cry SHRIEK as loud as it can!

One last thing. Greg and I were able to share some much needed (BLUSH!) intimate time together last night. We have made lots of awkward attempts at our sex life since surgery, and as you all know, it is hard.
Last night, however, was like something out of a movie. He thought he was coming to me to initiate sex, but I ended up tearing his clothes off in the living room.

So, that's the secret, eh? I have to be more of a vixen. How funny though, I had fuzzy legs, my hair was fuzzy from my playing with it, and I was covered with bills and paperwork.

Anyway, my long-winded point (imagine how I am in person....I won't stop talking!)....

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror this morning, and saw the giant scars where my breasts once were, the scars from my SNB, my port scar, and all the discolored skin from my Multiple Sclerosis injections. I have SO many battle wounds, and I am deeply proud of each of them.

But the thing that really, really got me was that even with a body that is just full of these scars and "flaws," my amazing husband still loves it. He still loves me.

Last night was a big moment for me. I think I finally got over the issue I have been having regarding my mastectomy.

I had better go. Anyway, I really love you all, and I hate that we are all having some extra struggles right now. Hey, we made it through the darkest of times this past year, we can make it through this, too.
Love and prayers, Debbie

Deb, thanks for the post and beautiful pictures. Glad you had a great time last night.

Kim

Debbie, thank you for the pictures and for your post. I will just sit and enjoy all the beautiful feelings you have shared. I am so happy for you. You deserve all the good things life has to offer.

What a beautiful family!

Kim, I am standing right beside you, my dear sister. I will be sending loving vibes to you all day.

I just got back from a potluck dinner for my women's support group. What beauties!

Hugs to all,

Anna