advice from my 43 year BC surviving mom

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CAMommy
CAMommy Member Posts: 437
edited September 2015 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I was talking to my mom today. She had BC when she was in her early 30's. She is 75 and has never had a recurrence or a new BC (she did also have colon cancer at age 60 but it was early and only needed surgery). I was telling her I am fine while I am in active treatment but I know I'm going to be a wreck withworry when I'm done. While in treatment I know we are killing anything in there but once we finish I'll start worrying if it will come back. She told me " You can't go there. You need to live every day to its fullest and not worry about the cancer. You have no control if it comes back or not, let your doctors worry about it, not you."

I thought I'd pass that along because I know I'm not the only worrier.

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  • kittysister
    kittysister Member Posts: 212
    edited August 2015

    Those are wise words, CAMommy. Did your mother have any other treatments for BC besides her surgery? So glad you still have her around, especially for her advice. I know I have missed my mother and older friends that would be advising me through all of this. But they have all gone to a better place.

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  • CAMommy
    CAMommy Member Posts: 437
    edited August 2015

    my mom was dx back in the dark ages of the early 70s. She had a painful lump on her breast and went in for a surgical biopsy. While she was still under (and without consent apparently) the determined she had cancer and performed a radical mastectomy. It was pretty severe. She did not have positive lymph nodes so she did not need radiation or chemo. She does not know her staging. She does suffer from lymphedema.

    My grandmother, around the same time, also had a lump. She also had a radical mastectomy but did have at least one positive lymph node. She declined rads and chemo. She was told without them she wouldn't live long. She died at 90 from old age, with no further cancers. I wouldn't recommend that course of action myself. She got lucky or was misdiagnosed in my opinion.

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  • vlnrph
    vlnrph Member Posts: 1,632
    edited August 2015

    Wise advice indeed. It's possible your grandma had a slow growing, indolent tumor that, even with the affected lymph node, was totally removed by surgery. Her own immune system probably protected her from further disease. With that family history, have you thought about genetic testing?

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  • kittysister
    kittysister Member Posts: 212
    edited August 2015

    Wow - glad you came back and explained. Things were really different back then. That's awful that your mom had surgery without her consent. Awful. But on the other hand, it should give you a lot of hope - and us too.

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  • CAMommy
    CAMommy Member Posts: 437
    edited August 2015

    I am BRCA 1/2 negative. Oddly, only my mom and grandma have had BC. There have been other cancers on my grandmothers side but no other BC. There is no doubt there in a genetic issue, but it's not one that they are testing for. It's probably unique to our family.

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  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited September 2015

    Believe it or not,, that is how it was done back then.. You were put under for a biopsy, and never knew if you would wake up with your breast or not. You just consented to surgery, not the full extent of it. It took patients making a stand, to change things. Shirley Temple Black was one of them.

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