April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

Last summer.

first night alone at home with the kids and every sound scares me. So I am sitting by the staircase with a phone and sharp keys in hand until DH gets home in 15m or so. possible anxiety? Naaahhhh. Over reaction. Sigh. Yes, we are transitioning and my DH is starting up a business in 36hrs. We are both worried about me, lol! Transition overload in one year! I used to be so brave

So what are you guys using for Aloe moisturizers, or are you using natural aloe????

Scarlett152 - I'm drinking wine, too. I don't go crazy but I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. And I want my life back. I'm rationalizing too - no alcohol for the last 5 months, so a glass here and there will be fine. If we stop doing everything that might be associated with cancer risk, I'm not sure anything is left.

I'm using Maiderm with the occasional Aquaphor basting as well. [Aquaphor before I get in the pool]. It's too early to know if it will work for me, but it certainly worked for Ksusan and my RO thinks it's a good plan.

Deportation ROCKS!!!! Nasty port scar tissue, not so much. I got me some of that too. It still gets sore if I sleep on that side. I wonder if people who get cording are also prone to scarring? I know I got some serious cording on the left where i had nodes out, and just a little on the right, where i had no nodes out, just a prophylactic. Anyway, nice work, Kbeeee, and way to rejoin the land of the fully human.

And now, a month and a half PFC, my finger nails are starting to almost blister up and look shattered. Ugh.

Wednesday I get my lady bits checked out- funny thing is, my town is so small, the PA I see at Planned Parenthood (only game in town) also does shifts at the ER- So, Ive seen her a lot. Fingers crossed for no lady part cancer!!!!!! Just gotta keep my giblets in line until i can get genetic testing. My Onc wants to wait on that until the cheaper test comes out, since my insurance won't cover it. And then...if its positive...spayed like a stray cat. Gah. Cancer can bite me. I'm sick of it. But....not sick from it LOL...yay!

Hello everyone

I haven't posted in a long time - I've just been getting through chemo- but I've kept up and read most of your posts every day- wow what an amazing group of woman you all are!!!

I finished AC (2weekly x4) and started taxol weekly- I had #11 today and the plan is for last one on Friday as long as my labs remain consistent and stable. Taxol has been ok - I have managed to work and usually have one day a week where I feel wiped out but otherwise it's been fine. I started glutamine as soon as AC was done and I haven't had to much of an issue with neuropathy. Main issue is insomnia and today I finally got a prescription for ambian.

My hair has started to grow but eyebrows are almost all gone and eye lashes as well- of course pits, legs etc growing and now need shaving!!!

I had my restaging MRI last week and it showed a complete clinical response so chemo has done its job- yay!!! My BMX is scheduled for Oct 2nd and radiation will depend on final path from that- but honestly being done with chemo is the thing I am most excited about.

A friend took me shopping for surgical camisoles and bras yesterday and I learnt that as long as one has a prescription these items are covered by insurance- who knew!!!!

Anyway just wanted to pop in and update everyone on my progress. Wishing you all a SE free easy week it's lovely to see you all getting done and kicking cancers ass!!!!

This is where I am hair wise after taxol # 11

CONGRATS Princess, Addie, AJ, and Karen!!!!!! So happy for you!!!!!! YAY! Ring the bell and run like hell ladies!

I think that finishes up everyone except me?? I'll be in the chair tomorrow too.... Taxol #7. It would have been my last as well if I had been able to stay on schedule. I try not to even go there but, but but.... lol Last week's treatment was the worst so far for fatigue and aches/pains, Saturday I slept almost all day and had horrible joint and muscle pain. I still felt yukko today until the steroids kicked in. Made myself get out and walk anyway. Soo, who knows what this week will bring...at least it brings me closer to the end of this ride, Thank God!

Hope everyone taking rads are tolerating them well and are feeling good!

Karen30.......just chalk it up to my steroid high and chemo brain.....I also meant to say congrats on your great report from the MRI!! Thats fantastic news!! I hope all goes smooth and recovery is fast from your BMX! You are in the home stretch now.... fingers crossed for no rads!

Gingerchi, I don't finish up until Sept. 14th...so I am still on deck with you. You wont finish too long after that. I still have surgery 4-5 weeks after that too.

Hows the p.n.? My hands are really bothering me now. M.O. doesn't seem too concerned as I haven't had any functional issues yet, just discomfort.

So many stressful cancer/non-cancer related things going on here the last few days. I was really exhausted and in a ton of pain on Saturday. I was admitedly pretty grumpy and got even grumpier over something that happened. Instead of being understanding that I was not at my best, my mother took it personally and badgered me about it. Well, I tried to let it go, but she didn't...and then I finally lost it.

Just before my diagnoses, my mother threatened my father with divorce unless he agreed to move across the country to live at the beach. Well he "agreed" and they announced their move. I got called back for a follow-up mammogram and then scheduled for a biopsy. She flew across the country to go condo shopping the week of my biopsy, because she was certain it would be nothing. Once I got DX, I assumed they might slow down a bit and postpone their move until the dust settled. Well, they didn't. House went on the market as soon as she got back and I was told they would buy their condo, but they would stay here until I was finished with treatment. They ended up moving in with us at the end of june when their house sold. This whole time I have still been incredibly hurt and angry that they didn't even hesitate about the move. I understand that it's their life and they deserve to make their own decisions, but it still hurts. Not once in all this time have I been anything less that supportive and grateful for their help...all the while my mom's been absorbed by their impending move. So, when I say I lost it, I mean I finally expressed my hurt feelings...probably in a post-chemo fueled overly-emotional response.

The last few days have gone from bad to worse and I am still struggling with SE's from this last round, I have one more round to go, and now my parents are treating me like I am the most ungrateful person on the planet. I guess since they gave me all this help, I am not allowed to feel hurt. After I told them that I wanted them to stay here when we go to Chicago for surgery (something that we already talked about last week) my dad told DH that I have stabbed them in the heart. ??

I am not asking for a free pass to be a horrible person while on chemo, but an acknowledgement that I am allowed to have a bad day without things escalating to WW3...is that unreasonable? Tonight, in a largely passive aggressive move, they announced that since I made it clear that they are unneeded anymore, and they were going to move tomorrow. When I pointed out that they were hurting my son by leaving abruptly, they reconsidered. DH assures me that all I did was just finally open up about my hurt feelings. Instead of recognizing my feelings and attempting to move past this, they've gone on the offensive and argue that I have been ungrateful and unsupportive. Pretty sure this will not end happily.

Since I know that I can't control how they continue to act, I am just trying to stay as calm as I can about it and reassure my son that things will all be okay. He was devastated in March when they announced their move and has really gotten attached to them while they've lived with us. He was hurt again tonight when they threatened to leave tomorrow. Needless to say, he already had a lot on his plate worrying over me. Why did I give up Ativan?

Thanks again for allowing me a place to vent and whine. So grateful to have found you all. My world has become very small, but it's reassuring to know a supportive group of ladies willing to listen to whatever I need to say.

It will get better, It will get better, It will get better!

dizzparkmom I'm sorry you are having such a rough time it's not fair having to go through all this and Having theadded stress in your life! I think you deserve a nice massage at a spa I had one last week and it did wonders!!! Nice just to go treat yourself once in a while

Dizzpark - sorry your parents are not acting like grownups. I think people sometime come to "help" and in the process, see themselves as saving you from what would otherwise be a disaster (in their minds). Then when you are not sufficiently grateful (by their standards)- in fact stressed by the extra complication of people living in your home - their feelings are hurt. I am always surprised that people arrive when you are least able to deal with their attention and leave when you most need it, because they believe you are now "better".

For all of us, our "courageous" acceptance of our diagnosis and brutal treatment regime is beginning to wear thin. We've put up a good front, but now we're getting tired of being sick, being hairless, being scared, being "cancer patients". And we're still not through with treatment.

No one really knows what it's like until you've been there. I'm not excusing them. You are entitled to your rant.