Dealing with feelings of self consciousness?

What kind of sleeve are you wearing?  I have a tied-dyed one and gets lots of comments about it. **oh, cool sleeve** and there are ones that look like tattoos also. Having a "cool" sleeve kind of changes the perception that it is a "medical" issue.

And of course for the nosy people,,, not family/friends/people you care about,,, but the nosy people at the mall or grocery store,,,,  you can come up with answers like:   "pumped too much iron so I swelled up".   "Lost a fight with an alligator".   etc, etc,,,, Cuz people who you DON'T know, really have NO business asking.  Do you go up to someone in a wheelchair and say: "how did you end up in this chair?"    I don't think so.  Cuz in reality,,, people do not have the right to know your medical stuff,,, that's why I say, come up with a "funny" answer for the strangers who ask.  (I've gotten serious intolerant since I lost all my estrogen,, have NO patience for people anymore.)

And a lot of people wear compression for running, etc. The last guy who asked me about it thought I was a weight lifter, cuz people at his gym wear them to lift weights so he thought my tied-dyed one was "rad".

Emily, I hear you! The "How you can cope" page at StepUp-SpeakOut has sections that might help, like the ones on dealing with the emotions that LE brings on, looking lovely in your sleeve, "when people ask", and self-consciousness in public.

http://www.stepup-speakout.org/How_You_Can_Cope_wi...

Sometimes I don't mind educating people who ask, though they usually mind it a lot when I go on cheerfully about it until their eyes glaze over. When I don't feel that open, my favorite answer to their question of what happened to my arm is: "Trapeze accident."

Here's a thread from earlier on this board, called "What do you say?"

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/64/topic/...

And here's another called "I was attacked by a shark!"

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/64/topic/...

As you can see, it's a problem we all deal with. And the beat goes on! Hugs,
Binney

I wear the sleeves--white ones--when I cycle. Luckily, some cyclists now wear what they call sunguards, which protect from the heat, so everyone thinks I'm wearing those. But they'll ask me how they work, why I wear them in the early morning when it's not hot, why I always wear them, etc. When they ask I say I had surgery on my arm (it's true, in my arm pit) and I have to wear compression when I exercise. They accept it pretty fast and that's that. I do feel self-conscious sometimes, but I've accepted it's the price I have to pay to keep doing something I love. I think if you can calmly deliver a line that's true but doesn't give the full download--ie, surgery on your arm, something like that--people won't press. Think about it--did you know what lymphedema was before you got breast cancer? I sure didn't. Most people don't and will take a quick explanation at face value.

I know some people give the funny answer--"attacked by a shark"--but to me that sounds defensive and will only elicit more questions.

I wear compression in the gym, too, and I kind of like the fact that people will think I hurt my arm, because I can't lift as much weight as I used to and feel like a wimp.

Mostly I dislike being asked, and most people do ask as I have a job where I am with the public.

So I look at the whole thing as educating people. People think breast cancer is about pink ribbons and free boob jobs, so I tell them the truth, breast cancer has lasting rotten side effects. I am not sad or morose, just more educational in tone. They asked, if they don't want to cringe on the answer, they should learn to not ask.

But I kinda like the thought of saying with a smile "A Shark Bite !!!"

I say it's a souvenir from cancer surgery. In Florida, shark bite could be true.

OH, good for you, Carol. Poor woman,, being told nothing to be done. Damn uneducated medical people!!

I was self conscious at first. Now, I think of it as their problem, not mine. If a child asks, I politely say it is for a problem caused by my cancer surgery. If an adult asks ( someone I do not know), I politely tell them more than they want to know...breast cancer, lymph node removal and make them as uncomfortable as I can for asking a total stranger such a personal question.. I do it very nicely. If they ask if it is for an injury I just say "No" and walk away. It really depends on the look on their face, how they ask and if I am having a bad day or not.

kicks, that is a fabulous story about the sporting goods store!

maybe we're more laid back here in sleepy old Perth, but I have only been asked about the sleeve a couple of times. I believe most people are not very observant and more interested in themselves haha. But I am the one who has the issue because to me the arm is repulsive and I avoid looking at it. I can only hope that my recent LVA surgery shows results soon. I don't know why I feel like a freak since I would never consider anyone else with a disability or deformity a freak. I struggle every day (sigh)

Thanks Glennie😎very helpful

I hate being asked questions about my sleeve. I don't mind it from people that I know but when a stranger asks I get annoyed. People walk around with injuries all the time and I don't ask a lot of questions about braces or bandages unless I know them. I know it's a chance to educate people but still....