I'm new, and my head is spinning!

Jeanine -

Hi. We all know the mind blowing experience of the diagnosis and there is a period of months where it seems to just get worse and worse. Waiting for test results and not knowing is absolutely the hardest part. We live in constant fear and preoccupation. I recall never having a carefree moment. And like any other Earth shattering event, we get by day by day. The beginning is the hardest for most. Many of us have found that after a game plan is in place and we start moving along the treatment path it gets a bit easier. Had I used drugs to cope I'd surely be addicted by now. And so, I simply held on. BCO has been my lifeline and the women here are wonderful. I also have a support group I attend. Find people you can talk to and ask for help from others when you need it...and you will.

Everyone tells me that in time the fear lessens and I won't be so obsessed. I think they're correct but it really does take time.

Wishing you clear nodes and manageable treatment.

This waiting stage sucks -- plain and simple. To the good ideas above, I would add getting outside -- walking, biking, running, whatever you like to do, funny movies, spending time with kids. If you are like me, your mind will never fully be off the fact that you have cancer, but you will have moments that serve as a break. I needed a sleeping pill for the week before my second surgery (which was the big one -- bilat mast + diep recon) -- I just stopped sleeping. Ask for what you need to in order to get through the diagnostic process. I totally agree that once you have a plan, things get better. I don't fall asleep or wake-up thinking I had cancer anymore. Life is pretty normal -- and great!

Good luck to you -- come back and ask anything you need to -- this is a safe place with lots of very wise women, who helped me more than I can describe.

I got much better at meditating! It's really hard to wait for the information to come back.

jeanine- I'm sorry about your diagnosis and what you have to go through. There's no doubt- it is scary!

The waiting is definitely the hardest part. The best thing I did before my mastectomy was to stick to my usual routine of work and exercise. Nights were hardest, because my mind was free to wander to dark places. My husband and I started watching Prison Break on Netflix every night and finished it the night before my mastectomy; it was the perfect distraction.

I wish you well and hope you get great news following your surgery!

(((hugs)))

I was just diagnosed 4 days ago and all the test results are not back yet. I've been through the mammograms and ultrasounds since July and had to go for a 3D mamo and ultrasound. I waited from Fri to Mon and heard from surgeon on Mon to go see him. I knew it wasn't good news. But, it's small, it's early. I have options. I will survive, I tell myself. I'm 60, young.

Did any of you get a second opinion? I have a call into my PCP to get a referral.

Even waiting until 9/1 to see my Dr. for a physical is hard; I need that before an MRI because I'm claustrophobic.

Being bipolar doesn't help, so I just keep reading and writing positive affirmations, but I'm having trouble sleeping. I'm still working so I need rest, but how much earlier than 9pm can I go to bed? I get up at 5 for work and a few times a night to pee. This morning I got up at 1:30 and had a hard time falling asleep again, but managed to, and got up at 3, back to bed until 4:30. Maybe I should reduce water, but I'm always thirsty (I have COPD, too).

I'm familiar with anxiety and tools, so I need to work those a little harder.

Glad to be in a support group where people know what you're going through. And positive suggestions are welcome.

Thanks,

Hi, I am 7 years out of treatment.

When I was first diagnosed I had to take Xanax at night to sleep and during the day I took an anti-anxiety medication...Buspar. Now I think that is off the market now...lol. And to be honest, don't know if I should have taken the 2 together but I was really in bad shape.

As I suffer from anxiety anyway,,,the cancer diagnosis made me become unglued....lol

I got through it thought...Back then this place had a Chat Room and we had lots of ladies in there chatting, they helped me through everything. I don't know if I would have survived without them. Sorry to hear that this place closed the Chat Room.

Never the less, this is a great place for support.

You cannot do this alone and should not do this alone. So reach out when you need.

The waiting pre-diagnosis, during treatment, and years after is the worst part. There are no words to explain what it feels like...only those of us who went through it know.

Hugs...

Kosh

Hi Jeanine and Linda

I am 50 years old now and 4 years out of diagnosis and in that time the WORST time for me was the time between diagnosis and treatment. I was in a depressed daze for almost 2.5 months. My kids were 5 and 7 at the time and I could barely control my tears around them at times. My dad had passed from lung cancer 10 months earlier and I had started counselling then. I restarted up with her and that helped immensely. I also got a prescription for Lorazepam and I took it! Because it is really hard not to cry when you have not slept properly in days. I walked all the time. When the world was too much for me I walked, and I cried and I thought. I think I lost almost 10 lbs in that time period.

But here I am 4 years later and one day you will be here too! You pretty much do what you need to do to survive this period (as long as it is not harmful to you), you get through it and go on with your life!

Jeanine - have you considered genetic testing? I have a Brca 1 mutation that I inherited from my dad. It was hidden (because my grandma only had sons) and I am the youngest of 4 children. Thankfully none of the others have it but some of these genes are pretty sneaky. I needed to know to protect myself with a bilateral mastectomy (like you are doing) as they would only do a lumpectomy on me at the time. But also I needed to have a hysterectomy and have the info available for my children (a boy and a girl).

Good luck to both of you, take a deep breath and you can get through this!

Good luck to everyone.  I hope that the surgery goes well for the August surgery sisters and I hope that the stress lessens for everyone else.  I am sending positive vibes.

The worst part for me was waiting for tests and doctor appts. to be scheduled.  That was absolutely awful.  No one seemed to think that it was important to schedule anything immediately.  The worst was the MRI appointment.  They wanted me to wait 1 month for my MRI but I was ultimately able to schedule the MRI for the next day.  I advocated extremely hard for myself.  It was really difficult but I am proud of the fact that I did not give up and I was able to schedule appointments quickly without waiting weeks/months.  Unfortunately, however, as I was getting ready to go for my MRI, the hospital called and said that the MRI was cancelled due to a water main break in the hospital and that the radiology department was under water!  However, they still did the MRI for me that day with wet floors!!  I would have gone crazy if I had to wait one month for my MRI.  I would not have been able to handle the stress.

Yes, I did go for a second opinion.  That was the best thing that I ever did.  I now have an absolutely fantastic MO and I know that I would not have been happy with the first MO that I saw.  Aside from ending up with a better MO, I also went to M.D. Anderson Cancer Center for treatment (another 2nd opinion) although I live in Florida and was originally going to be treated in Florida.

Right now I am concerned because we may have a hurricane on Sunday/Monday and I have my MO appointment scheduled for Monday.  I don't care about the hurricane.  I do care about the fact that my MO appointment may be cancelled.  It is a 3 month checkup and I absolutely need to see my MO.  I did not expect this.  I am holding out hope that the weather will not be bad and that my MO will still hold office hours on Monday!

I have a giant hematoma from an MRI guided breast biopsy in May 2015 and I also have a suspicious area that is a 1.5 cm linear non-mass enhancement with rapid washin washout kinetics that could not be biopsied - bi-rads 4b.   I will know more in November 2015 when I have my next round of tests.  However, due to these issues, I have been looking forward to seeing my MO on Monday.  It will be stressful if I have to reschedule because I need the latest appt. in the day and that time slot may already be booked.  Oh well.  This issue is totally out of my control.  I am pretty sure that the suspicious area will be benign but the waiting and wondering is estremely stressful.

Good luck to everyone.

I was recently Dx with Pagets disease of the breast (BC). I am having a Mast on Friday the 4th. I don't know what to expect after that. I haven't seen an ONC yet and I am most concerned with the prospect of chemo. I had endometrial cancer a few years ago and had hysterectomy/ radiation, so I am familiar with that, but I just don't know what else may be required after surgery.

Hi Jeanine, I was just diagnosed the first week of August and I have to say it hit me like a Mac truck. I had so much fear and anxiety that I had to get something for it or I would of gone crazy. I am now taking Hydroxyzine Pamoate (25 mg). I can take it up to 4x a day, but I am trying to take it just before I go to bed. It is not real strong, just enough to take the edge off of the fear and help me relax. I had a lumpectomy on the 19th and I start chemo the first week of October. I have to get a port a cath (which I am freaking out about too) the week before I start chemo. I have a hard time discussing it with anyone. If I do, I feel like I am going to break down and start crying. I wish you the very best of luck and hope your surgery went very well. Guess we just have to keep marching forward and try to be positive. Take care, Peggy