Just Diagnosed This Afternoon

MaineCoonMama
MaineCoonMama Member Posts: 2
edited October 2015 in Just Diagnosed

I have always led a healthy life, was careful about the foods I ate, exercised(hike, run, weight training), never smoked, never did illegal drugs, not overweight, always went for my annual checkups: and my doctor called and said the breast biopsy was positive for cancer. Last mammogram was clear. This one was not. How does that happen? Where does this start? Neither the doctor or myself felt a lump. No tell-tale signs. I have always worked very hard on my health, followed my doctor's orders, I go to church, am kind and helpful to my fellow man.....if you live a good life and make the good choices, there are no assurances? Is it random? Out of the blue? The spin on the wheel? How do you come to grip with the "Why Me?" question?

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  • Tam-iam
    Tam-iam Member Posts: 90
    edited August 2015

    I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I wish I had an answer to the question of "why me?" For me, as the weeks have gone by since my diagnosis, I've been a lot less focused on "why me?" and more focused on my treatment plan and kicking this thing. It does get easier with time. Hugs!!!

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  • Joy-Anna
    Joy-Anna Member Posts: 24
    edited August 2015

    God, do I know what you're talking about. It's so much to wrap your head around. Especially when you first find out and have more questions then answers. I just found out this past June and know what you're going through. I know this for sure... You'll get through this time one day, one hour at a time and you'll feel better when you have a treatment plan. I don't know you but we're sisters in this. I'll be thinkin of you and sending prayers, positive thoughts and hugs your way. And remember always, you didn't do anything to get this disease. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Hugs and love to you...... God has you in the palm of his hand. Keep your faith. I know you will

    Joanna

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited August 2015

    "I have always led a healthy life, was careful about the foods I ate, exercised(hike, run, weight training), never smoked, never did illegal drugs, not overweight, always went for my annual checkups: and my doctor called and said the breast biopsy was positive for cancer. Last mammogram was clear. This one was not. How does that happen? Where does this start? Neither the doctor or myself felt a lump. No tell-tale signs. I have always worked very hard on my health, followed my doctor's orders, I go to church, am kind and helpful to my fellow man.....if you live a good life and make the good choices, there are no assurances? Is it random? Out of the blue? The spin on the wheel? How do you come to grip with the "Why Me?" question? "

    It's a crap shoot. Forget the "Why Me ?".  Work the problem. Sounds harsh. But it's here, work it. Push for whatever needs done. Saved my life.

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  • Trish3-
    Trish3- Member Posts: 4
    edited August 2015

    I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I remember that "why me" feeling all too well. It sounds like you are normally a very positive person. That attitude and your faith will get you through this. You are about to be bombarded with more words and information than you can imagine. You will learn more about cancer, treatment, medicine and tests than you ever wanted to know. And all of that will suck! But you will also be shown such kindness and support. Your friends and family will rally around you and show you how much you are loved. Draw your strength from them. Let them help as much as possible and fight like hell. You did nothing wrong. There is no way to answer the question "why". It just is. This is the hand we were dealt. You are now a Member of a community you never wanted to be part of and we are here to help any way we can. It will be hard and there will be days you don't feel like fighting. But this will not define you. Cancer is not who you are, it's something that happened to you. And when it's all over it will just be part of your story. The part where you became a bad ass and kicked cancers ass.
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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited August 2015

    Hi MaineCoonMama, welcome to Breastcancer.org. So sorry about your recent diagnosis. Although we hate the reason... we are so glad you've found us and you are here with us!

    We have no answer for the "Why me" question either. The are some risk factor you can control (weight, diet, alcohol consumption, smoking, exercise, etc) but there are also risk factors you can't control (just click on the link if you want to learn more about it).

    Hope this helps, please come back and let us know how you're doing!

    Trish3-, welcome and thank you for your words of encouragement and support! We're here for you if you need of any assistance.

    The Mods

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  • ml143333
    ml143333 Member Posts: 658
    edited August 2015

    MaineCoon - I too am sorry that you are dealing with this disease, but you have to stop asking "Why me" and start focusing on what you need to do to beat this thing.  Once you get a treatment plan, you will start to feel better.  Lean on friends and family for support.

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  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 3,257
    edited August 2015

    Unfortunately, when I asked that question of myself it came back from my own brain with this answer - "Why NOT me?" I am no different than anyone else in terms of the one thing that matters. I am human. I am fallible. I am just as likely as anyone else to have cancer. Why the little child I ask myself? They have not had a chance to live their life at all, let alone make mistakes about their diet or exercise. So, as much as we hate this disease, we must deal with it and go on from here. I hope that you feel better once a treatment plan is in place. Hugs and best to you moving forward!

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  • Saltwithsavor
    Saltwithsavor Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2015

    Your reaction and question are so normal. Just know you are not alone..as you face the days ahead, square your shoulders and instead of "why me," say " try me!" You got this!

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  • Nash54
    Nash54 Member Posts: 837
    edited August 2015

    Mainecoonmamma....I wondered the same thing when I was dx'd.  I'm heathy,take care of myself exercise...had none of the risk factors but still got  breast cancer.  I tried to find a reason...birth control pills?   Hormone replacement therapy???  But in the end I just had to accept it and move forward.  It was really hard in the beginning but I got thru it and am doing well now.  You think you'll never feel normal again...but you do.   Hang in there (((hugs)))

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  • Saphire2809
    Saphire2809 Member Posts: 1
    edited August 2015

    That's such a normal reaction to when you first get the dx. I am the first in my family to ever get breast cancer. I did not really go through the why me stage, maybe because I have MS also and went through that stage with the MS. But once the shock is over you really have to just dig in and figure out what to do next. Family and friend support is very useful at this time too. My one suggestion and I really think it's important, take your time and find out all the answers. A lot of people just settle on that 1st doctor and just go along with it. It's a very stressful time of your life and your thoughts will be jumbled. You may just think, get this disease out of me! Make sure the general surgeon you choose is the one you feel the most comfortable with. The second most important is the plastic surgeon. That doctor is the one you will have a "personal" relationship with for quite a long time so make sure you like their staff as well as the doctor! I went for a second opinion upon my dx and was so glad I did because the 2nd doctor was the one that was correct.


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  • beth1965
    beth1965 Member Posts: 455
    edited August 2015

    I remember when I was diagnosed my hubby said your the one that drinks green tea and eats blueberries, raw garlic, cabbage etc... and is active and eats healthy all the time in your family and ours how did you get cancer. There is no history of cancer in my family I am the first. My cancer started in my thirties.

    Apparently my cancer was there a very long time and had a chance to grow big and spread around but I am still here kicken cancers butt at the moment - BUT the blueberries and garlic I eat or green tea I drink is solely because I like them and I have no illusions that they help you not get cancer now.

    If you have lead a healthy lifestyle that is still a good thing as you will be stronger to fight your cancer.

    Hugs to you

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  • tgtg
    tgtg Member Posts: 266
    edited August 2015

    Maine--Your reaction to your diagnosis is understandable and fairly universal among us. Even though I, too, did all the "right" things (and still do). I developed bc anyway, But my surgeon reminded me that sometimes cells go haywire in our bodies, especially as we age (71 at dx), so I quickly put the "why me" question to bed and concentrated on treatment and returning to my pre-dx life as quickly as possible.

    That "why me" question really is a fruitless and double-edged sword, though. The same month (12/2011) when I was diagnosed, a good friend was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. We went through treatment simultaneously, and I could see her steadily losing ground, even after a bone marrow transplant and chemo. She died (in hospice) at the end of July, just after I had received the good news that I am still cancer-free two and a half years out.. Should I be asking, "Why am I cancer-free, and why did cancer kill her?" I think not! As someone above said, cancer is a crap shoot--and 1 out of 8 women lose the roll of the dice. So don't waste your energy on something you can;t control or even fathom--concentrate on healing and returning to your full, active, healthy life!

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  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited August 2015

    hEllo, i remember also saying, "why me", but i realize, it was meant to help others thru like u, i ponder that question for awhile, now know what i was meant to do,take a breath, and then i decided to fight, with Faith, Hope, n Positive thinking, sweetie Praise God, i am now a 21yr Survivor. msphil (idc,stage 2, 0-3nodes, chemo rads 5yrs on tamoxifen) n all while planning Our wedding.

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  • shannondunlop
    shannondunlop Member Posts: 12
    edited October 2015

    Hello.  Sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  I can say that asking "why me" leads only to self pity and depression.  Instead of "why me", how about "whynot me?"  God does not give us more than we are able and for me, i believe that will be able to help someone else someday and having cancer has ehanced my life, my relationships, my outlook and my everything.  This is the why for me.

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  • analove
    analove Member Posts: 8
    edited October 2015

    Hi all,

    My dear sister is going through this at the time- also wanted to say that this diagnosis does not only change the life of the women being diagnosed but also affects the family members. for me it has turned my my life upside down- It hurts so much to see how the process of surgery, chemo has affected her physically as well mentally - It is very difficult to be strong during the beginning stages of this process but you have to surround your self with people who love you and give you support during this time. Do not let this bump on the road bring you down. Do learn as much as possible about your cancer and get more than one opinion on how to treat it. Don't ask your self why me? because there is no answer -

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