Stupid comments ....

Early after my diagnosis, a friend told me she'd "had a lumpectomy and was fine." I said, tell me about what kind of breast cancer you had. She said no cancer, they had removed the lump and it was benign.

This is called a "biopsy." Not a lumpectomy.

We are actually on vacation for 5 days in northern Wisconsin. First 3 days were great. So 4th day we are shopping in Hayward and I am sitting on a bench resting a minute...I am 3 1/2 weeks from chemo so I still get tired. So a man walks up and pats my shoulder and tells me to be brave, he says when ever he sees a lady with a hat on he stops to say be brave and he's praying for them since he knows what they are going through since he went through it with his wife. Then some lady pipes in to tell me about her heart condition and how she cod get me great insurance...I butted in and said my treatment is done, I am going to be fine, thanked them for the prayers and got up and went into the closest store. OMG let me have my vacation people!

When I was undergoing chemo 7 years ago people used to come up to me in the grocery store (or any store) and put their hands on my shoulders and say "I am praying for you" - drove me nuts, but of course didn't want to upset anyone - these days the reception is a lot different - no more "mrs. nice guy".

I told my mother that the next time somebody looks at my hair and asks, "Oh, are you in recovery?" I'd answer "No, I'm a dyke" (which I am, so...).

My mother thinks it's funny, anyway.

Feeling the head when I was bald WTH. Same as total strangers touching my belly when I was prego.

I agree that the unwanted comments are out of line, and the touching by strangers is WAY out of line!--but at least these clumsy attempts at kindness are preferable to other stuff people have reported encountering in these threads: the old man who snarled "I don't like your kind" at a short-haired chemo patient, assuming she was gay, and the couple who reduced one balding woman to tears, saying loudly to each other, "did you see THAT?" "Yes, disgusting!"
Please don't think I'm trivializing the obnoxiousness of what tjh and others have reported; just observing that people who recognize what people in treatment look like are a little higher up on the food chain than the crazy haters.

RaiderGirl, your friend is priceless!  Love the comeback.

Cheesequake:  unreal,,,, just unreal,,,,

After my diagnosis I got the "I went through that a couple of years ago" speech from a close friend and my sister-in-law! I knew neither of them ever had cancer, but they were compelled to tell me their biopsy stories. I actually had one friend ask to see my bald head. I probably would have shown her, if she hadn't asked, but she threw me for such a loop, I said no. If she asks again, I'm going to say "Gee Jan, if I had lost a limb would you ask to see the stump?".

So, yesterday was my birthday and I decided to cash in one of those "it's your birthday - here's 15% off to come spend all your money in our store" coupons. As I was paying for my purchases, a man across the cashier's stand said hello. He then proceeded to tell me to keep up the fight, how his wife had cancer 9 years ago and is doing great, and how I've got this. I played nice because his intentions were good, but it totally popped my birthday balloon. I'm fairly new to the bald world still feel very self-conscious about looking like a cancer patient. Being called out sucked rocks - a feeling I'm betting more than a few of you get.

No great comeback on my part this time, but I love reading what others have said to inappropriate people. Maybe I should keep a list somewhere handy as you all have some lovely doozies.

"Are they sure they got it all?" "When are your next scans?" "Are you cancer free?" "What's your prognosis?"

=

"Are you going to die pretty soon?"

Why was being single considered unusual?  I'm single. Many of us are single. 

A few thought me a danger. I was shocked. I read their behavior. My neighbor was the first. It was so odd. Her DH --not. I'm a congenial talkative person. LOL you can see by the posts numbers. At the church....I was blown away....attitudes changed.....left the church. I was saddened.