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LilyoftheValley
LilyoftheValley Member Posts: 5
edited August 2015 in Waiting for Test Results

This will be my first mammogram. I am scared to death. I want to talk to all of the women in my neighborhood (there are 5, not including my mother in law) who are currently going through treatment or have gone through it recently what they wish they knew before that first mammogram after finding lumps. I feel though that that would be disrespectful, as if I've already diagnosed myself, or I'm putting the horse before the cart. Their suffering is real, and I don't want to make light of it in any way.

What do I do if this lump isn't seen on the mammogram or the US? What do I do if they say they want to watch it for a while? That terrifies me. If I were not a sane person, I would have attempted to cut this thing out of my body myself by now.

And what of the fact that in one neighborhood, there are so many women who have suffered from or are suffering from BC? 2 have have died. My MILs was caught early enough through a routine mammogram. A woman 2 houses down has battled it twice. I have so many questions.

I don't want to have to wait to find out anything. I don't want my husband to have to worry. I don't want to stay up all night staring at the ceiling playing the what if game, while periodically checking this stupid lump to see if it's gone, gotten smaller, gotten bigger, gained some friends, and so on. I feel guilty worrying.

So... What would you all tell someone going in for the first time with a lump other than... Don't stress (that ship has sailed), and ask to look at the films?


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  • Scwilly
    Scwilly Member Posts: 489
    edited August 2015

    I'm so sorry that you are going through this worry. My advice is to try and concentrate on what you are doing now and not to think too far ahead. This is a scary time and I really hope that you will find your lump is benign. Most are. In your circumstances its really understandable why you feel so scared.

    When is your appointment.? Try to fill the time before that with things to distract you. I hope that putting your feelings down on this site helps, but do not research what might happen - there is going to be lots of information on this site which will never be relevant too you. Just deal with what you are currently being faced with. If you have a while to wait - go to a doctor and perhaps get something that will help you not to be so anxious.

    Hugs

    Sarah

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  • LilyoftheValley
    LilyoftheValley Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2015

    My appt is this Friday morning. This totally helps. Writing it down, or typing it out in this case, gets it out of my head. Plus, knowing that there are people who have gone through the anxiousness or are going through it helps too. I don't know any of you, but that doesn't seem to matter. Reading the boards, all of the positivity, and everyone so eager to help, restores my faith in humanity a bit.

    I know the internet is a bad place. Coming here and reading the threads keeps me off WebMD ;) I just want to make sure I'm informed before I go in there. Does that make sense?


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  • Scwilly
    Scwilly Member Posts: 489
    edited August 2015

    That does make sense - as it will help you to formulate the questions you want to have answered. You might not get much info during the Mammogram appointment - unless yo see a specialist. I do know that whatever happens - the early stages and waiting for test results is horrid. There are a lot of people here that have been through what you are going through. Make sure you make time for a treat for yourself this week if you can to distract yourself. Let us know how you get on.

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  • fishermom
    fishermom Member Posts: 3
    edited August 2015

    hi lilyofthevalley, I just started looking at this site yesterday and I'm the same age. I had a mammogram because of some family history and some pain but no lump so I wasn't expecting to find anything, but just thought I'd get the mammogram to have another one on file in case anything happened later. They saw a change from a few years ago and that started off the waiting game. Waiting that day for more tests, then waiting for biopsy and then the results... then going to get results but to find I needed another biopsy and now waiting for those results. I know that doesn't help ease the anxiety of waiting but may help you prepare that you may have a lot more waiting ahead (with not that much info from the dr). Easier said than done... I hope to have answers in 2 days and I think I will explode a little if I go and hear they need to do more tests or even watch and wait. I agree that waiting is the worst part but a little easier after reading that so many people are aggravated by their waits too...because then it seems that waiting is normal and not so abnormal. My days go by much easier when I plan activities with my kids. It's the days when I don't have anything planned that I end up on the computer. I feel like I've read everything, every link has been clicked! So in saying that, it's time to get off the computer and do something! One more week and I'm back to work which will keep me busy but worried because if I need more tests it will be harder to schedule. Just wanted to connect with someone on here... So keep strong in your wait!

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  • LilyoftheValley
    LilyoftheValley Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2015

    Fishermom, thank you. I guess I'm hoping that on Friday, I will find out it's nothing. I have no family history of BC. The only cancers in my family have been skin/sun related, and one family member had pancreatic cancer.

    I have no problem getting through the days, thank heavens the kids are still out of school for summer. The bad time for me is at night, when everyone else, including the dogs, are sound asleep. The house is quiet, but my mind doesn't shut down.

    My daughter has an appt with our GP today, and work my discovery last night of a new, second lump, I think it's time to ask for a script. I need some restful sleep.

    I hope you get some answers soon. I will be praying for you and your family. Thank you for reaching out to me.

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