I think I'm going to have to give up the girls...

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CAMommy
CAMommy Member Posts: 437
edited August 2015 in Surgery - Before, During, and After

I'm feeling really down about this. I had my lumpectomy last week and the DCIS was 6cm not 1.7cm like they thought. I have one close margin that needs attention, but the surgeon said lets wait until after your genetic test results before we do anything to see if you should have a bmx. Excuse me? This is the first mx or bmx has even been mentioned with him.

He didn't even say I needed a mx opposed to going back in for re excision but after looking at the van nuys prognostic index for DCIS it clearly has me needing a mx now. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to tell me that until he sees me in person at post op in another week.

Given my family history and the fact that my mom had two cancers (BC young and colon cancer - she survived both) I am pretty sure I don't even need genetic counseling or testing to tell me I should get a bmx.

I thought I'd have the lumpectomy and some rads and be done, BC just keeps on giving. My brother died from lung cancer two years ago. I want to do everything possible to make sure I stay healthy, I have three kids ages 13, 12 and 9. And I am hugely grateful that this is caught early and I have the chance to reduce my risk further, but damn, I like the girls.


How do you handle the emotional side of this? I also had a complete hysterectomy 2 years ago. I will now have no girl parts left. This makes me cry to even type it. Am I still a girl without girl parts?

Thanks for listening.

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  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited August 2015
    I can't speak to how you handle it emotionally but yes, you are still a woman, with or without the physical girl parts. Being a woman is in your heart and soul and mind. It's in the arms you warp around your children and the life you share with your family and dearest friends.

    However, PLEASE do give serious thought to seeking a second opinion, even at this stage of the process. At the very, very least your surgeon owes you a thorough explanation of your options and why he's talking about a bmx.
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  • queenmomcat
    queenmomcat Member Posts: 3,039
    edited August 2015

    (non-gooey sympathy) Yes, you're still a girl...but I bet it sure doesn't feel like that right now, does it? Did the surgeon mention what the options were, contingent on the results of the genetic testing? When are those results coming back?

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  • CAMommy
    CAMommy Member Posts: 437
    edited August 2015

    I meet with the genetic counselor on Friday. I'm not sure how long it takes to get test results back from them. I'm very unhappy with the genetic counseling part of the cancer center. Everything else has been great but the genetic counseling not so much. They are all part of UCSF and the genetics team only comes out twice a month to where I am. They made me call my insurance to see if I am covered. My insurance couldn't determine it because I did not have a dx code. The genetic counseling team was like not my problem.

    I don't see how testing will change anything for me. It's clear I have a family history regardless if it contains a gene they test for. I already qualify for prophylactic mastectomy by my insurances standards.

    My BS, MO and RO are highly regarded, the RO is world renowed and this team also treated my GYN's wife's BC. Can't get much better referral than the doctors a doctor uses. I've been told by other doctors over the years I should get a bmx. But I don't know, it only seems like threat of gynecological cancers are the ones they are so quick to rip our body parts out for. If I had a high risk of brain cancer they wouldn't rip my brain out. :/

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  • Molly50
    Molly50 Member Posts: 3,773
    edited August 2015

    CAmommy,


    I'm curious what you decided to do. I had my Lx two days after you. I now need a umx due vascular spread and two positive nodes. I am having a MRI on Monday to allow me to decide umx or bmx. I don't really want to do both if I don't have to.

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  • CAMommy
    CAMommy Member Posts: 437
    edited August 2015

    I just met with the MO and RO today, they said I'm fine. No need for Mx or Bx and they said, I quote "It's only DCIS". I asked about the close margin and the RO said its not a problem, no need for excision either. But he wants me to start radiation right away. I'm starting next week. I will hopefully be doing the Canadian method (3 weeks with 1 week boost).

    Good luck with your decision. I am still doing to ask for an MRI but the Drs all day my breast tissue is so fatty (um, thanks?) that the mammo is fine for me. I'd feel better with MRIs though.

    I may eventually still do a bmx but not right now.

    Good luck with your decision!

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