STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

As far as the comments on this site, when I was on the waiting to be diagnosed, I was afraid to add what my bi-rad score was, because there was someone who said almost all bi-rad scores of 4 would come back as benign. My score was 4 and it sure didn't come back as benign. I didn't even want to go into the subcategory of 4, because I know not all radiologists use it, so wasn't even going to add that mine was 4c. I understood part of maybe not wanted to scare the women who are waiting....but it almost sounded as if the person was dismissing everyone's concerns when it came to the scoring of diagnostic mammograms and ultrasounds instead of trying to help ease their minds.

Lifelover...I can relate. I'm 60, but mentally feel like I am 30. This morning I fell taking a shower and all I could think about as I am falling is...wow I didn't die from breast cancer, but will die from falling in the shower. I don't know if I blacked out for a second, but it was the most scariest thing ever. Just had my back injections for the lumbar stenosis on Friday, everything went well, and of course I fell on the side that had the injections. I hope I didn't mess myself up. I too, am feeling sorry for myself

I'm so mad at people who come to my desk at work and compliment me on the "pink things" on my desk. I have always liked pink, fuchsia even more, but now people view everything pink on my desk as my embracing my cancer by having pink items on my desk. I just ordered a new computer case, in blue, and I am taking all pink things off my desk. One woman even said to me oh I see you wear a lot of pink, that's so sweet. Argh! I have always liked the color pink, but not because it signifies breast cancer!

Now I can't even wear pink without thinking about cancer. Thanks for that!

I need to rant before I lose my mind......5 months of treatment, just started arimidex 2 weeks ago, thinking ok, this is your life for the next 5 years, time to just settle down and get on with living. Last week, funky painful rash on back, 4 diff doctors, all freaking out when told I finished rads 3 weeks ago saying it must be radiation! Um, no, opposite side, nothing like a burn. Can I get a script for Lyme testing? No, it must be radiation! Went to ro, gee, not rads. Finally paid out of pocket for top dermatologist in area who doesnt take insurance, one look, it's lyme! Thank you to all the docs wasting my time. Now on a kick ass antibiotic for 4 weeks, no sun or drinking. I call it my 'no more summer for you!' pill. Last week my 89 year old father had a painful breast. Went to doc, saw a surgeon, said there is a 3 cm lump. I am taking my 89 YEAR OLD father for a mammo and us in an hour. Feel like I am in the groundhog day movie.

Thanks for this thread!!!

So sorry LifeLover (love the screen name btw). I cannot imagine all your going through. Hope today has bee a bit better for you.

Shorfi, how are you feeling? Everything ok since the fall? That's scary. Chemo has really affected my legs and neuropathy is awful in my feet. Needless to say, I don't trust the legs I stand on. Ha. Thought I was going to have to call the FD one day. Was almost convinced I absolutely could not get out of the tub my legs hurt so bad. I finally did. Still grabbing walls and stuff while I walk and losing my balance or sense of direction? It's weird lol I've got bruises from bumping into things and walls. Whoops.

Feeling frustrated at hurting still. My last chemo was 7/28 (Taxol) and my legs and feet just haven't eased up much yet. I've tried to work the past two days but came home early because nausea has all of a sudden been a problem too, but maybe that's my nerves? And walking all day just makes the pain in my feet worse.

Bleh.

Thanks DSW! I'll give them a call Monday. Is that one of the ones that makes the HF's worse? Had them before all this but wow are they so much worse now. I sometimeswake up swimming in my bed lol

Sure all of you know all about that.

Just wanted to say one more thing. I always thought I was strong and so tough and this cancer took alot of that away, kind of left me vulnerable. Yet I sit her daily reading all of the ladies here go thru so much more than me and I take a step back and know I'm still me just like all of you are still you just stronger. Thank you.

Diane

Aw Diane (?), you are stronger too!! Im lucky, my 3 are a bit older, the youngest being 14. I cant imagine having younger ones through this.

My sleep is all goofed up too. But its easier for me to nap. If I was closer he could come over here and play while you rest. So sorry.

This sucks for all of us, in its own way to each situation. It tears into every aspect of our lives.

HF is hot flashes. I had read on here about a drug that increases hot flashes. Go figure I cant remember which drug lol

Tangandchris, They still mammogram my left side even though it is fake. I guess as long as you don't have implants they want to do it. I was surprised.

jilly- I know exactly who you are talking about on that forum. She and I locked horns a couple of times. In fact one if the ladies PM me to keep posting there and not take her crap. No problem with doing that.

This whole thread is such an eye opener and a great way to vent. No one can really relate to the way we feel with this DX. My 2 cents worth is being treated like we have leprosy and people always looking for reasons(our fault of course) why we are the chosen ones. Seriously?

I told by ONC we will always be looking over our shoulders no matter what stage we are. We are branded with the C word. Making it 5 years is a statistic not a guarantee.

I too had a not so good bone density test. Taking Tamoxifen so it should have helped with bone issues and it did early on but not now. Dr prescribed a nasal spray@54 a month thank you and that's generic and with insurance. She said I could get the shot 2x a year but have to take Fossamex first. No can do causes jaw and dental issues and I already have that worry.

Thanks for the therapy session.

Diane

I'm frustrated and tears are swelling in my eyes. Frustrated that treatment has ended for a special person who I only met a few weeks ago on this website. She made such an impact in my life in such a short time. She projects herself with grace and dignity and clarity. She's preparing for hospice. I am so sad. Part of it is selfishness because I look forward to her posts. I'm mad because she is so loving and cares so much for her DH who needs care and who will do that when she is not there. Why her?????? She can teach the world about compassion but her life is cut short because the meds are not working and the SE's are so hard. Has she not been through enough! We need people like her be here, to teach us, to offer give us hope. I know this is a ramble. I want a miracle for her.