Please help me...I am feeling lost

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Murphy43
Murphy43 Member Posts: 25

Hi everyone,

I was just diagnosed June 23 with invasive ductal carcinoma. I am a 43 yr old mother of 2 children, 1 young and 1 teenager. I had my surgery 1 1/2 wks ago. 1 lymph node was removed and showed isolated cancer cells. I am just waiting for all of the pathology results and have an appt with the surgical oncologist in 5 days to get those results. My breast tumor was 3.2 cm and grade 3. This is about as much as I know to date.

I feel so lost. I am a strong person, but this has steam rolled me. I am scared and worried that the cancer has spread.

There is a bit more to my story. The reason I thought something could be wrong was that I was having issues with eating. The food seemed to ball up in my throat. It feels like something is there. That made me concerned enough to believe something was wrong which lead to finding the lump and beginning this craziness. I am concerned that I have mets, but the drs are so focused on the breast cancer.

I feel like I am in this crazy waiting game. How did you all get through this? The waiting period? How did you deal with the feeling that the cancer was everywhere?

There are so many strong women on this site. Please, don't feel I am not strong, I am. This is just very new and I am struggling to deal with this news...

Thanks.

C

Comments

  • Sumiaali10
    Sumiaali10 Member Posts: 1
    edited July 2015

    hi I am a 36 year old with 2 young daughters one is 6 and one is 5 I was diagnosed with grade 3 dcis July 2014 and had left mastectomy and chemo in October 2014 and radio in feb 2015 all my treatment finished in March . No one will say it's easy but use your family and friends to help u get through it

  • treelilac
    treelilac Member Posts: 245
    edited July 2015

    Hi C: 

    I'm curious: what did your breast surgeon say about your difficulty swallowing? He/she must have offered some explaining-away. Also did you have a chance to talk to your family doc about the swallowing problem before becoming a BC patient?

  • wrenn
    wrenn Member Posts: 2,707
    edited July 2015

    I too am curious about the swallowing thing. I think breast cancer tends to metastasize to bones first or lung or then brain but I have never heard of it going to the throat. I hope you followed up with that. I had swallowing problems when I had a thyroid tumour (benign).

    It might be worth asking for temporary anti anxiety medication. Many of us have had to use them since this is scary stuff in the beginning. Take care of yourself and keep coming back here for support.

  • kcat2013
    kcat2013 Member Posts: 391
    edited July 2015

    Murphy, waiting does make one absolutely crazy. Have you had any scans besides breast ones? Having clear MRIs and CT scans at the beginning of my diagnosis helped me squash the feeling/fear of the cancer being everywhere.

    Have you seen your primary care doctor for the throat thing? I know that reflux can cause that difficult to swallow/something is there sensation, and may be the only symptom of the reflux.

    Kendra

  • debiann
    debiann Member Posts: 1,200
    edited July 2015

    I had read that bc can increase the risk of  thyroid cancer so  asked my bs if this was true. She asked if I was having any trouble swallowing, felt my throat and told me not to worry, if I should ever get thyroid cancer they just remove it.

    Mention the problem to your doctor, but it may be nothing.

  • CassieCat
    CassieCat Member Posts: 1,257
    edited July 2015

    Some Ativan each night helped me in the beginning. Seriously. I too was 43when diagnosed, with a teenaged daughter. In some ways it gets easier, especially when you start to have more clear answers as to where you do or don't have cancer, as best as your doctors can tell. For me, having a plan in place for treatment helped. I had a clear PET scan after chemo and a clear pathology report after surgery, and both of those helped put my mind more at ease. It's still not completely at ease, however, and I don't know if it ever gets to that point or not.

  • susiejenkins39
    susiejenkins39 Member Posts: 1
    edited July 2015

    You are strong! It's just a REALLY difficult situation. You're human - of course you're struggling! Have you tried guided meditation to calm down? The Reimagine website has some vids that help. You'll get there.

  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited July 2015

    I felt like I had a lump in my throat but that was after dx. There is a thread on here somewhere that mentions Globulus hystericus - generally it is caused by major anxiety. It certainly was in my case. Did you have a lot of anxiety before dx? My PCP predicted it would go away as I recovered emotionally and it did. Best of luck

  • Username1
    Username1 Member Posts: 2
    edited July 2015

    Hello everyone,

    I am totally new to this. The last three weeks have been very stressful for me. I got my letter to go for extra images after a routine memogram and I did about a week later then right there they did an ultrasound which reviled a mass 1.5cm which they thought was a level 5 suspicious so they schedule a biopsy.

    Today I went for a biopsy and it was a horrible experience. They did the biopsy an put the marker but when we did the memogram to make sure the poison of the marker was accurate they said it moved. I started to worry because the first doctor disappeared and another doctor came in and told me they would have to go back in and place another maker but never said to me they would have to repeat the entire procedure until she was practically doing it. This concerned me and I started asking questions of which I did not get answers. So they did two biopsies back to back and it was very painful. So now I have to markers one which is not necessary and the other in the designated area. Had this happened to anyone? Did the first doctor do something wrong by placing the marker in the wrong area? I now have all these concerns and I am so confuse and upset I don't know if I should trust these doctors.

    Please help.!

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited July 2015

    Username-

    We want to welcome you to our community, and tell you how very sorry we are for the experience you had during your biopsy! It's already a scary situation to be in, and then to not have trust in your doctors only compounds the fear and confusion. We would suggest calling the doctor's office tomorrow and asking to speak with someone. Hopefully you're able to get some answers as to why that happened.

    We hope your results come back benign, and we'll be thinking of you!

    The Mods

  • Username1
    Username1 Member Posts: 2
    edited July 2015

    Hello everyone,


    I am totally new to this. The last three weeks have been very stressful for me. I got my letter to go for extra images after a routine memogram and I did about a week later then right there they did an ultrasound which reviled a mass 1.5cm which they thought was a level 5 suspicious so they schedule a biopsy.


    Today I went for a biopsy and it was a horrible experience. They did the biopsy an put the marker but when we did the memogram to make sure the poison of the marker was accurate they said it moved. I started to worry because the first doctor disappeared and another doctor came in and told me they would have to go back in and place another maker but never said to me they would have to repeat the entire procedure until she was practically doing it. This concerned me and I started asking questions of which I did not get answers. So they did two biopsies back to back and it was very painful. So now I have to markers one which is not necessary and the other in the designated area. Had this happened to anyone? Did the first doctor do something wrong by placing the marker in the wrong area? I now have all these concerns and I am so confuse and upset I don't know if I should trust these doctors.


    Please help.!


    Thanks!


    Carmen
  • mye
    mye Member Posts: 130
    edited August 2015

    Hi,I am also 43, with a 6 year old and was diagnosed in April. Currently finishing up chemo then surgery in September.

    I remember the day I was diagnosed sitting around the table with my family and my sister's family asking myself and them how I am going to get the strength to go through the coming months. It seemed every scan, every biopsy, every phone call was bad news and I was breaking down, lost all confidence. Every morning I'd wake up sometimes crying, wishing this wasn't real. It was especially hard to be around my son because I had to think about "what ifs". One thing that happened quickly was that I felt very close to my husband and knew I wanted and could rely on him for support, making appointments, dealing with insurance, researching etc. The strength came gradually with time, more info about size and type, spread (although it took a while for me to want to hear and learn about survival statistics), and when a treatment plan was in place and starting with chemo, as horrible as it is. I started getting my bearings back. I also started psycho therapy, acupuncture treatments and saw a nutritionist which together helped me more gain more sense of control. I wanted to join a cancer support group but didn't find one close by that I felt comfortable with. Please don't be too hard on yourself and pressure yourself to be strong. What we have to face and go through is so so difficult and can leave us feeling separated. I have found this forum to be very helpful, informative and supportive. I am very happy I found it. It is my go-to place when something's up. You will gain strength in due time and on days when you don't feel all that strong let your family and friends help you. It's not always easy. Also, check out his movie that is available on iTunes, it's called "WHAT THE F@#- IS CANCER And Why Does Everybody Have It?" It is made by a young women who was diagnosed I believe at 38 and wanted to make a movie about BC that she wished she had when she was diagnosed. I found it to be inspiring.

    Hugs

  • DSW1976
    DSW1976 Member Posts: 118
    edited August 2015

    MY heart is breaking for you but yoj arent alone. I too am strong as are many women here and this diagnosis will bring the strongest to our knees at times.  It's scary, but when you get then plan in place it will get better.  I am almost a year out from where you are and it feels like yesterday but you will get thru it I promise.  You have so many wonderful wise ladies here that will walk you through each and every step and even when you don't feel like typing sometimes just reading others posts of simular situations helps.  Im so sorry.  Good luck.

    Diane

  • MaggieMae123
    MaggieMae123 Member Posts: 38
    edited August 2015

    Hello, I just wanted to send some prayers your way. I was just diagnosed last Friday with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma and the anxiety is just horrible. Just wanted to send you my prayers and wish you the very best!

  • cajunqueen15
    cajunqueen15 Member Posts: 794
    edited August 2015

    Hi mama! I'm 35 and have three toddlers (2, 2, 1). I had NO idea that anyone with cancer could wait so much! Wait for the biopsy, wait for the MRI, wait for the bilateral mastectomy to see if there is lymph node involvement, wait for your BRCA results, wait for your second opinion, wait, wait, wait!!! I feel like I'm losing my mind. I CANNOT leave my children with no mother. I can't even think about this without feeling hysterical. I believed they had "caught it early" and I would roll right through this. I felt that I was strong. While my husband watched our twins, I drove myself an hour to the hospital in hard labor last year. I thought, I can DO this. I am a mess! I oscillate between anger, extreme fear, joy with my children, and paralysis. I feel like my stress level must certainly be making my cancer move even faster than it is! Why isn't the phone ringing, why is everything taking so long, why, why, why?

    Thank goodness for you ladies who understand. I'm going to get on my knees right now in my office and pray for peace for all of us.

    Xoxo!

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited August 2015

    Murphy, swallowing difficulties should be evaluated by a Ears, Nose, and Throat (ENT) doc. The ENT doc  will do their thing. Once everything that they treat is ruled out, an evaluation by a GI doc for gastric reflux could be considered if swallowing is still an issue.

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