Living with a uni
Have not found many unilateral mastectomies that continue without reconstruction. If a 36 b or, so is this difficult. Can one do without out prosthesis etc without feeling conspicuous with only one? Most seem to complain about prosthesis. Would like to go with just one but wonder if most feel that they are looked at. Would breast reduction of be an option of other be an option without doing a complete bilateral mastectomy?
Comments
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Hi Mary - I'm a uinboober size 42 C! and I don't give a s*** what anyone thinks. But I do have partner, am 67, so that probably has something to do with it.
After a few years I did buy a prosthesis and 3 MX bras. it does help especially in the summer under clothes that reveal more. Sometimes I go out as a uniboober, but that would be under something like a big cotton shirt with chest pockets in just the right place, or layers. I really like clothes that drape on the bias in the front, or come to a knot in the front, or have a pattern that makes it hard to detect the BIG UNIBOOB. I'm also mindful of what the circumstances are so , I can't really say I don't give a s***. I do not have a profession which brings me into the public eye every day, so I get away with as much as I can. At home I no longer wear the regular old tee, which does truly magnify the mountain standing alone....so I've opted for newer looks in tees with the draping, ruching, knots, flounces so I can go braless and feel comfortable.
I figure if my neighbours show up & I'm out in MY garden - too bad. the know I lost a boob, they are adults - they can deal with it. It's my house. Same for others I know quite well who might drop over. I tend to grab some overshirt or cardigan or something if it's a delivery person or a stranger coming to the door.
After being out, with my prosthesis and Mx bra, the moment i walk in the door i whip it off & throw it on the couch or whatever - i always detested bras anyway, so this is just a continuation of my previous behaviour.
I'd say, just get away with whatever you think you can. some people have lost a hand, an arm, whatever - but these do not seem to fall into the same category as uniboobdom. too bad. However, it's all up to you!
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Mary, I'm a uniboober too and it is completely doable. I go half flat a lot too. Like in the mornings, i just throw on a shirt to walk the dog, stuff like that. I'm 36C. I've gotten over what people think,, but like flannelette, I don't have a job where I have to deal with the public or dress up. Then I would probably wear the foob and bra more often. -
I was a uni boober for about 2 years, and was a 38 C, and it was do-able. Some women use scarves creatively, some women love the Valetta cami by amonea which you can wear with a foam breast form, or any form really. People really don't notice as much as you think they would. I never noticed a woman with one breast, or no breasts ever. But when I became a uni myself, I did see a few. Busy patterns distract the eye, as well as jewelry.
I am now flat, and I live life flat. Same sorts of fashion ideas as above. Bottom line is to give yourself a chance and see how you feel. 5 years out, no way would I have wanted the misery of recon. I made the right choice to be flat, and wear forms if I want to. Denise
PS there are uni's on facebook's flat& fabulous group who show photos. You just have to ask to join.
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Hi Mary, I actually don't know anyone who had a UMX and did recon.... Seems like the ones who have recon are those who had BMX (and even then, recon is not as common as the plastic surgeons would have you believe).
I have met only one or two people that were rude enough to ask me if I got recon - I could have said "none of your business" which is true, but I just explained that if I had to have a fake boob I would rather stick it in my bra where I can take it off when it gets uncomfortable, rather than implanted into my body with all the pain, risk of infection, etc. that goes along with that! It's not like anyone can tell the difference when you are dressed.
(In reality I have never actually bothered with a MX bra and a proper foob. And I was not a candidate for any kind of implant even if I did want it.)
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A unibobber as well. I live in the northeast, so during the winter, sweaters and scarves do wonderful things. Like flannelette, the summer can be a bit trickier. I just bought a bathing suit with ruffles on the top, don't need my fake boob(foob) , no one can tell. I do have a job, where sometimes I need to be at large events or meet with donors. That is when I take the most care. Either I wear something where it is really not noticeable or I wear my foob. I don't care much, but sometimes It is just better for professional reasons
At home - never, I am what I am even when my son's friends in their early 20's are around!
It can be done.
Best,
Nel
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Hi, uni without recon here too
. My body doesn't do foreign bodies well, and I'm not inclined to move tissues around and risk more pain. I'm a 34B, but an A in mastectomy bras mostly as my fitter says they run a bit different. I wear a size 4 prosthesis, for reference . Nearly 2 years out, I have a half weight silicone that I wear in a camisole as my daily "uniform" as it's just the right compression for my trunk. If I didn't need the compression, I'd probably go half flat more often. Most of my tops are patterned / layered / embellished somehow now. I was more of a minimalist before in my style, but it does help hide any asymmetry as it is a challenge to look completely symmetric in a plain t-shirt even with a foob.
At the gym, I wear a compression bra and go half flat because there (and at home) I can't be bothered. I go to a women only gym, which is nice. I sometimes still feel like it's super noticeable, but I have had someone with a completely straight face one time ask me what type of cancer I'd had (it was at a cancer rehab program so she knew I'd had something!)while I was standing there half flat. I almost laughed out loud
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I'm glad to have found this thread... I am scheduled for a UMX with DIEP recon on 8/26/15, but now am not sure I am a candidate for this. If it turns out I am not, I am very seriously considering UMX without recon because I feel really uneasy about having an implant. (I know they are safe; it is just a personal thing.) However, I am really not anywhere close to the point where I can honestly say I don't give a s*** what other people think about how I look. I am 40 years old, teach large lecture classes at a university (where sadly lots of students are paying more attention to what I am wearing than what I am saying), and enjoy going to the swimming pool with my young children. I am wondering if a UMX without recon or a UMX with an implant is more doable for me. I would love to hear from others an honest assessment about the biggest challenges of being a uniboober. Some of you have said that you don't care anymore... how long did it take you to get to that point? And also, before you reach that point, how inconvenient is it to don the fake boob? etc. Thanks... really struggling with this decision.
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39andhip: It is really no trouble to don the foob. You slip it in your bra before you put it on. Just a few extra seconds. There are lots of nice MX bras out there, and camisoles with pockets and bathing suits with pockets. There are also foobs that stick onto your chest. I tried one on, and with a stick on nipple,, you could NOT tell the difference between real and fake while I was wearing a white tee shirt. Seriously. My friend's jaw dropped !! I ended up not getting a stick on, as I developed truncal lymphedema, and now I have to wear compression all the time. So fake boobs are mostly out for me. The compression I wear mostly squashs my remaining breast so it's not very noticeable that I'm a uni.I couldn't do an implant either. I can barely stand my implanted tooth,,, I knew I couldn't bear to have one under my skin. But that's me.
there's a great thread here called All things Bras and Prosthesis. Lots of great info there.
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Thanks glennie.
Yes, I'm just really afraid I will hate an implant. But I'm also afraid I will hate being a uniboober! Basically I just hate everything about this, lol! -
remember, you do not have to do recon immediately. You can wait and decide later. And I do understand hating everything about this!! I'll take my old droopy breast back, thanks very much. -
I am a uni-boober and I am still waffling over whether or not to have reconstruction. I had implants prior to cancer, so I still have a 34D side with a saline implant. I had rads, though, and do not want to go through a flap surgery. I have considered just taking the saline implant out and I think no one would ever notice as I was so flat before the implants. It would be really easy to just pad one side a little bit. The biggest problem I have is with gapping - bending over in yoga class, etc. I still haven't gone swimming since this whole experience. I don't know. I hate to say I am still totally on the fence 4.5 years later.
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I never wanted to have recon, it takes more time to recoup than MX surgery. During chemo before surgery, my doctors tried many times to persuade me to consider recon, I refused and never regret in the past 5 years. I was a "36 almost B", didn't like wearing bras even before BC, but have to dress up professionally for daily work. I went back to work a week after surgery, before the drains were removed. During the healing time, my jacket covered the lopsided chest, and nobody paid attention to my chest. My favorite prosthesis now is a weighted foam from American Cancer Society's TLC Direct catalog. It is light weight, just matches my "almost B" weight, comfortable, and not feeling hot under Texas weather. It is easy to insert to the pocket bras, and I never feel uncomfortable or different in the working days. It is doable to be a uni-boober. It really depends how you view yourself. -
39andhip: How big are you now? I would imagine it would be a little harder to match a larger size uniboob but certainly doable. My situation is a little different because I have always been flat chested. Like, not even AA. They don't even make bras small enough, lol. In one of those sports bras that squashes everything flat against your chest, I could pass for a boy. This always bothered me a lot, so I've been wearing padded bras for years. The kind where there's some kind of firm foam padding in the cups so they hold their shape whether anything is in them or not. After my surgery, once the drains were out, I went right back to wearing the same bras as before. No one can tell that one cup is empty and the other only half empty. It doesn't "ride up" or fit any differently.
I realize that not everyone is in that situation, though.
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Hi Jennie93,
I don't want to hijack this thread, but wondering if you would share the names of the padded bras you wear. After my bilateral mastectomy, I looked for bras like that, but never could find any. Do you think that, without at least one breast to hold them in place, they wouldn't work? Thanks.
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Jennie, I am a 34B - so not huge, but big enough that being lopsided would be noticeable. I don't even like having B cups, though. I jokingly asked the surgeon if he could take part of my right breast and put it into my left so I would have two A cups.
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LOL. I said if there was some way they could suck the fat out of my butt and stick it in my breast, I'd go for that!
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Erica, I don't remember exact brand names but I think one was Vasarette? Just go into any store like KMart and look for the ones where the cups are formed, and are cup-shaped even hanging on the rack. I had virtually no breasts, so there was mostly nothing in the cups even when on me. Yes, if I had to reach up high the band would ride up some, onto the boob a little, but I'd just wiggle my shoulders a bit while the arms are coming down and it goes back where it belongs. It's not the weight of the boobs that holds a bra in place, it's the band and the straps.
Anyway that worked fine for me for over a year after surgery - then I developed some LE right in a spot that makes wearing any bra uncomfortable..... Unfortunately.
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Jennie. In all seriousness, they really can take fat out of your butt! I actually discussed this with my PS. I don't have a lot of abdominal fat for the DIEP recon that I want, so the surgeon said that he would take everything he could from my abdomen, and if it wasn't enough, he could go back later and take fat out of my thighs and transplant it. (He can also do the butt, but I want it gone from my thighs!) Now I'm not sure if I can do the DIEP recon because of potential blood clotting issues, but I told my friends I'm going to make my PS liposuction my thighs anyway, haha.
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Thanks Jennie93. Seems like padded bras were a good, easy solution for you. I'm sorry that lymphedema has interfered with wearing them.
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I'm so happy to find this thread. I love the term "uniboober", it makes me smile. I'm scheduled for UMX surgery August 17. I have no desire to have reconstruction and I really don't want to wear a prosthesis. I wear 38C bra, so I guess it will be fairly noticeable, especially given I basically just wear tshirts and am not a ruffle, scarf, drapey, geometric pattern kind of gal. I'm pretty sure I don't care if people notice or not, but I haven't dealt with it yet so am not sure.
If I don't wear a prosthesis, but still wear a regular bra for my lone boob, would that make it more obvious the other side it empty? I mean, the cup would collapse without anything filling the space. Oddly, I think I'm more self-conscious about not wearing a bra at all and my lone boob nipple being obvious than I am about being lopsided.
flannelette, your humorous post made me happy.
Maureen
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mkinoly - when I want to go without my foob I just wear a stretchy sports bra. It's pretty obvious as I'm a 40D, but when I do that I'm not trying to hide it lol.
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I am so happy to have found this thread. I had L mastectomy in April 2015. Still struggling with swelling from axillary surgery, but found some great bras by Yummy (soft cotton and lightly padded) at Nordstrom, and similar bras (cheap) at The Rack. I felt very insecure at first, though the remaining breast is about an A and so didn't hardly need to pad the padding on the left side. For that reason, got a prosthesis (Medicare pays for such things) and special bra,; and a mastectomy swimsuit, which has a secure pocket for the fake boob. Used it at the beach, and was happy to be able to do so.
I have thought about all the distracting clothing options, and smile to read of others who think as I do. For awhile, I just wanted to find a designer who would make special Unibreast clothing, but it is really easy to get one-pocket shirts, etc. I even put something in that pocket (before the fake boob) to make it stick out. I admire the 'I am as I am" stalwarts, and began that way; but I have to admit it is less a reminder of the disease and the surgery to wear the fake boob and regular clothes.
I am 75. Oh, a tip on some padded bras: a short strip of ribbon tied around the middle of the bra (vertically) will keep the pads from shifting. Because of swelling, empty breast, etc, some pads do shift.
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patriciakono, welcome to BCO, and thanks for sharing your experiences and tips! We are happy you found this wonderful group of women!
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I'm a unit going on six years. It's been a challenge to find a foob that matches my other boob. I am a 42 DD. most times I wear loose clothes. But when needed for the comfort of other I wear my foob but it didn't work in MX bra have to use regular bra. One is still always higher than the other. Oh well
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mkinloy - we are the same bra size. I just got my prosthesis a couple if weeks ago. Easy-peasy to pop in your regular bra. More comfortable and realistic than I expected. Like others, I nearly don't give a poop and go without when I can easily go unnoticed, but it's nice to have the option and I find it comfortable.
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Thanks for sharing your experience, powerthruit (great name, by the way). I'm in the process of losing weight (part of my get-rid-of-estrogen plan), so maybe a couple months from now my leftover boob will be smaller and the empty side won't be very noticeable. I need to buy a couple sports bras for after surgery, I guess. Have I mentioned that I hate having to buy all these special/different things than I would ever buy because of this stupid cancer crap? Extra big button up shirts for after surgery, drain pockets, now sports bras, maybe a prosthetic... sigh.
My big fear of being a uni is that I will get swelling/lymphedema and will need to wear some sort of compression band that will squish my leftover boob. I have massive pain in there and I don't want to ever know what compressing it would feel like.
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I had a left side Mastectomy, no recon. Have a f/boob and several soft padded bras, which irritate the lymphedema swelling under my arm. Today I just threw on a loose shirt over my tank. We walked the dogs, and when I got home , I noticed I had buttoned my linen shirt wrong (surprise). It actually changed my symmetry, so the difference in the 2 sides was unnoticeable. It actually looked good (to me), so maybe this is an easy solution to the uniboob presentation problem!
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Thanks for all you do.
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I had my right side mastectomy in January, the only bra that seems to feel the most comfortable is a sports bra and I never wore one of those before now. I just turned 60 a day after my surgery. When I went for my check up I kind of complained about the fake boobs being heavy , warm and uncomfortable, and to my surprise and believe me I laughed all the way home over the name.........they are called Knitted knockers!! You can look it up on line for the pattern if you or if you know anyone that knits the pattern is there. All you do is send them your cup size and they will send it to you free of charge.........it works and is so much more comfortable. You can always send a donation which I did too.
Mary
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