Help from others after reconstruction

Several people brought homemade meals. That was nice. Some help with the laundry was nice (hey my DH bought be a grabber so I could do it myself. ) It would be helpful to have someone come over and take a walk with you and just listen to all your fears, worry, whatever without judgement and without trying to fix it. Consistent caring contact is really helpful, not one and done. Not really sure how to ask for it, but it is very helpful. Maybe ask your dearest friends to check in every week. Good luck! You got this! The thought of surgery was worse than the actuality got me. Feel what you feel. Gentle hugs!

sknitter - This was one of the hardest things for me to admit - that I needed help. But I did; and it was surprising who did (and didn't) step up. They all actually want to help, they just have no idea what you need. If you live alone like I do, you'll need a ride to your surgery and someone to pick you up. And I assume they'll keep you in the hospital at least one night - but you'll need someone to spend the night with you the first night you get home just until you get used to getting around on your own. Depending on your PS and the hospital policies, most times they'll give you your prescriptions ahead of time or before you leave the hospital; but if not, someone will need to have those filled for you. Let someone help you 'level' your house. Nothing should be much more than about waist high (you won't be able to reach up for a while) and nothing should weigh more than a pound or two. (Thus no one gallon milk or water bottles.) I saved water bottles and put whatever I needed in them to make the lifting manageable - milk, water, iced tea, etc. Put your dishes and silverware on the counter. I cooked meals and froze them ahead of time, so I was pretty self reliant in the meal department. No vacuuming and no laundry for the first couple of weeks (but if someone wants to volunteer for either one - then great) and be sure that someone is very close by when you finally get the OK to take that first shower because you won't be anywhere near as strong as you think you are right away. (A friend actually bought me a cheap plastic lawn chair and put it right in my shower - and that was a big help.) You'll need a ride to your post op appointment because you won't have been released to drive yet and you may still be on pain killers. Either way, let someone else drive. We know this is all scary and a little daunting, but you can do this! That's what we're all here for...

And an old fashioned back scratcher is a MUST - for so many reasons. (Trust me, you'll thank me later!)

My husband's co-workers set up one of those "meal train" things where folks sign up online and drop off dinners each night. We had a cooler on the front porch, and each day a meal magically appeared. It was *super* helpful!