Scared

scaredsobad,

Sorry you find yourself here. Do you have a copy of your pathology report? Are you scheduled to see a surgeon? I understand you are scared, it is scary to hear you have cancer. I have my lumpectomy next week. It seems like forever since I was diagnosed in early June.

Do you have a good friend or relative who can be supportive and go with you to appointments? My sister has been really helpful and supportive to me.

Hugs,

Just poping in to say, I know these first cpl of weeks are rough but once you see a good doc and get a plan in place you will feel a little better! As far as kids go, I have young boys, 8 and 10. I have never said the "C" word. They don't need to hear that because they know my dad passed away from it. They know I had to have surgery to remove a bad spot, they know that I have to take medicine for a little while to make sure the bad spot doesn't come back. They are totally clueless and I prefer it that way. They are happily going about their daily lives. Just my experience

I saw your husband's post yesterday and just wanted to say good luck with everything. Don't be afraid to ask a lot of questions. And don't be afraid to ask for help.

As for children, I have a 15-year-old. I didn't see any reason not to tell him what was going on from the start--but leaving out some of the nitty-gritty details. He knows it's breast cancer, that I'm having chemo, that the oncologist says--and I can see for myself--that it's working. If I had younger children, I might choose to withhold more of the details.

But....good luck, and I hope if goes well for you from here on in!

All this is hard on husbands--you're the one with the cancer but he's the one who has to watch you undergo treatment. (Mine is a bit better at expressing his feelings, but it's still hard on him.) There are a lot of practical things he can do, but "stop the treatment, take away the cancer" isn't one of them. Alas! All we can do is make sure we've got an accurate diagnosis and an appropriate treatment plan, and it sounds like you've at least made a start on that.

I didn't have to face the "how do I tell my kids?" issue, but had just enough of a brush with "how do I find a doctor I can work with if I live in a sparsely populated area?".that your problems with that resonated with me. At least there's a solid though basic cancer program in my community now--there wasn't when I first moved here--so I'll be getting radiation five minutes from where I live.

yes sweetie, husbands do go thru this with us, we were making wedding plans when i found my lump in shower, he was right there for me, thought me having breast removed would make a difference to him but it didn,t, i am a 21 yr Survivor, and been married 21 yrs also, after chemo was done and before rads we were married, you and us ALL our daily in my prayers. msphil(idc, stage2, 0/3 nodes, L mast chemo and rads and 5 yrs on tamoxifen)