Please help me, so scared

Options
Murphy43
Murphy43 Member Posts: 25
edited August 2015 in Just Diagnosed

Hi all,

Firstly, I am new to this site and I think there are so many strong women out there. I thought I was strong, but right now I am not feeling it. I was just diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. I had my biopsy June 24 and I had my surgery almost 2 weeks ago. 1 lymph node was removed and all I know so far is that there were isolated cancer cells seen. My tumor was 3.2 cm and I honestly did not notice it until the day I felt it. I am in the medical field and know to do breast self exams. The reason I knew something was wrong was I was having trouble eating, it felt as though something was stuck in my throat. That led to all this craziness.

I am a 43 yr old mother of 2 children - 1 younger (7) and 1 teenager, 2 boys. I am so worried. What if I have mets? How am I going to do this? I do not meet with the dr for 6 days and that is only to get the pathology report back. Then I have to wait to have more tests. How do you make it through all of the waiting and not knowing. I am so scared. To everyone around me I am trying to appear strong. I am being positive for everyone else. But, inside I am so scared. I want to see my boys grow up. How do I keep going?

Please help me....

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • 123JustMe
    123JustMe Member Posts: 385
    edited July 2015
    Hi Murphy43!
    So glad you found this site. I am in the medical field as well and you have found a great group of women here! I think it's the norm for everyone to be scared but remember to breathe! Did you know have a biopsy? If so what were the results? There are lots of women here who can help you through this crazy breast cancer journey. Be kind to yourself and ask questions. Knowledge is power.

    123JustMe
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Murphy43
    Murphy43 Member Posts: 25
    edited July 2015

    Thanks for responding! Yes, I had a biopsy the same day as my diagnostic Mammo and ultrasound. It showed I have grade 3, very aggressive invasive ductal carcinoma. Still waiting for the surgery results and the staging part. That is the toughest part, the waiting. I feel so stupid. I am putting on my brave face for everyone else's benefit, but inside I am freaking out. I wait for everyone to go to sleep and then I walk around the house crying and feeling how unfair this is. This is life changing...

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited July 2015

    Dear Murphy, We are so sorry about your situation and so glad that you are willing to reach out to our comment. You have joined a group of others who truly understand the worry that you describe. Hang in there. Keep posting and stay connected. The Mods

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • car2tenn
    car2tenn Member Posts: 515
    edited July 2015

    Dear Murphy43,

    How do you get through all the challenges? I am a nurse practitioner and have been surprised to see horrific practices in the oncology field . I have been misdiagnosed, and then had the Breast cancer diagnosis told to me over the phone but the all time worst was for the oncologist to call me to tell me it was metastatic over the phone because she was going out of town for Christmas and didn't have time to tell me in the office. Since that time 18 months ago I have changed to another oncologist and I have gathered support people. Sorta my team. Even then I have been on the front row observing the changes in the American medical scene. We all have to be our own advocate and never take things for granted. Many have traveled this road and you will find your way also. You will also find fear and then you will find strength when you learn how to deal with that a fear. This web site is a wonderful resource. Blessings on you and take care. Carolyn from Music City

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • MizMimi
    MizMimi Member Posts: 98
    edited July 2015

    Hi Murphy! I'm sorry you are going through this!! I would encourage to let your feelings show, even one person who can hold you while you sob and breakdown can be cathartic. I can't imagine the added stress you must be under just trying to hide all your emotion!!

    What type of surgery did you have? I'm on mobile so maybe I am not able to see your info on that.

    Also, from reading everything on here most of the ladies had their path report in less than two weeks time. Is there anyway you can access your chart online?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Scaredp
    Scaredp Member Posts: 4
    edited July 2015

    Hey Murphy. The waiting is the worst part. Phone constantly. Look for cancelations. My wife was just diagnosed, and was lucky to get an appointment. It's time for you to get selfish. Rely on your family and friends. Best of luck and hopes of great health....Peter

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • queenmomcat
    queenmomcat Member Posts: 3,039
    edited July 2015

    Another vote for "The wait is the worst part." All the ghastly worries swirling around in your head! Getting the diagnosis of cancer is a devastating one. Trust me: you're not alone in reacting this way.I'm a couple of steps ahead of you in the treatment sequence--I've had the surgery, gotten my pathology report, and in the process of setting up radiation--and I'm still crawling out of the little puddle of self-pity into which I dissolved when the surgeon told me I needed ANOTHER lumpectomy. Details available on request....but don't be shy about asking for help. Physical, emotional, what YOU need.

    Is there a patient care facilitator connected with your local health care system? (a health care professional who helps you navigate the morass of treatment) Is there someone in your life who can come to your doctors' appointments and take notes, remind you of concerns, provide emotional support?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Stacy7
    Stacy7 Member Posts: 32
    edited July 2015

    2 months ago was diagnosed and for about a month following was a waiting game of tests and results..final path after lumpectomy was 2.1 cm clear margins, node negative but isolated tumors (gone from surgery) er+ prog+ her-.... Oncotype dx was final waiting game which was low, got second opinion for isolated tumor cells and for recommended treatment....

    Isolated tumors are sometimes spilled during surgery and sentinel removal takes care of it as well as treatment plan,,do what ur doctor says and everything will be fine ... U caught it early :)) best wishes and here to talk i just started my radiation

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited July 2015

    Hi Murphy,

    Just checking in to see how you're doing? Please keep posting to let us know...

    --The Mods

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited July 2015

    Hey Murphy! Don't worry! There is plenty of time for that, but not today! Once you get the final Path report, then you will know what is going on next.

    I'm over 5 years out.... You can see below what was going on with me... We are ALL acared! I didn't talk about it much with my Husband, or my grown Daughter's.... Just with my friends, and on here...! This is a great place to talk about anything!

    Write all your questions down, and all the answers.... You won't be able to think straight sometimes.... And it's okay to cry.... for a minute.... Just tell yourself that as soon as you are done crying, then you will get up and fix a chocolate coke or something YOU like!

    We go on! That's what us women do.... There IS a light at the end of that dark tunnel! Take good care!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited July 2015

    hey sweetie, you are in the right place for support and helo we know that feeling, once all is in placeit will ease up, that what you are feeling now, take it from me, a 21 yr Survivor(Praise GOD), once treatment in place , fought to stay Positive, and being here will help you with that.msphil(idc,stage2, L mast, 3 nodes, chemo and rads and 5 yrs on tamoxifen)

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Murphy43
    Murphy43 Member Posts: 25
    edited July 2015

    Hi all,


    Just found out I am triple receptor negative, the margins on my lumpectomy were positive and my sentinel lymph node was positive. I am still waiting for an appt with an oncologist. I am scheduled for Tuesday, so hopefully I will have a plan. I heard chemo, more surgery and then radiation. And so it begins....the waiting is the worst.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • CinderellaNC
    CinderellaNC Member Posts: 36
    edited August 2015

    Murphy don't despair. I am a triple negative also and that can be scary. There is a discussion group on here also devoted to just triple negative breast cancer so check out that thread also. You will find it helpful. I received my diagnosis on May 29, 2015 and it was a total shock to me, no symptoms , just turned up suspicious on diagnostic X-ray and needle biopsy gave me the bad news. Since then I have had a lumpectomy and had my first of four chemo treatments a week ago. The shock has worn off, the waiting to find out exactly what your pathology report shows is the hardest part. Knowing where you stand and what your treatment options are help your mental and emotional outlook a lot . Everyone in these discussion groups will tell you that and they know what they are talking about. Open up to someone , anyone about your worries and concerns and fears and it will help. People will be there for you. Keep the faith okay! It does get easier it really does

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Scl1954
    Scl1954 Member Posts: 2
    edited August 2015

    stay busy as you can and learn about what treatments you are facing so you can plan accordingly.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories