Just scared like everyone else :(

sbeddows, First I would like to give you a big hug and welcome you to BCO. You picked a great place for support.

Take some big deep breaths. Like you, when I was diagnosed I was so scared. I have a half sister diagnosed with TN, as well as her daughter. I was also diagnosed with two different pathologies, which I found was very unusual. Both known to be aggressive.On top of that I couldn't get too aggressive with my treatment due to a past illness.

You can and will get through this. No two people react to treatment the same. What didn't work for your mom, doesn't mean it wouldn't work for you. I know it's difficult, but try not to get too far ahead. Take this one step at a time, and we will all be with you to help you along.

I know others will be along to share their experiences.

Please keep us updated on how it goes next week. Sending good thoughts and best wishes!

First off, hugs and deep breaths. You asked for some hope from those in a similar situation, so here's my story - I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago, at 36, with a very fast growing (I swear that buggar came up overnight) tumor that looked about 2.3 cm (ended up being grade 3, 2.1cm on path) and one enlarged lymph node seen on MRI and that my surgeon could feel. Luckily, it only had 80 or so tumor cells so was counted as node negative. But I don't have to tell you the node scared the crap out of me. Now, my recovery has not been without its challenges, but I'm still here for my now 2 year old. You have my sincerest best wishes that you'll be similarly "lucky" . I also wish none of us had to go through this. It's so veryhard when you're so worried for your little one.

Sbeddows, you will get through this. It is devastating, terrifying, and painful but you will. Think baby steps. Like Italychick said, once you and your doctors have decided on a treatment plan, your focus will change and you will feel more in control. I remember my good friend who went through something similar before me telling me that, and it is true. Doing the tests and waiting for the results is the hardest, unbearable!

My dad passed away from lung cancer a month before my diagnosis. His was very aggressive and he died within less than 2 weeks of being diagnosed (this will not happen to you. His was a very special case in that his symptoms were very vague). So when I was diagnosed and found out just how aggressive my cancer was I thought for sure like him I was going to die quickly and not be there for my 6 year old son. (I'm 43). With time and therapy!, I started separating my condition from my dad's. You are not your mom. Everyone reacts to chemo differently. Also the drugs and regimens have evolved since 7 years ago. Try to learn as much as possible about your cancer and don't be afraid of knowing. Knowledge is power. I hope you have a help and family around you that you can depend on. We are all here for you. Praying that you find strength through these really tough days. Hugs

Positivity isn't exactly my thing either . Not everyone will agree with me, but I felt like I was "doing it wrong" by not being all rah-rah and it was honestly adding to my stress about everything until I stumbled across an article like this a few months in

http://medivizor.com/blog/2015/04/30/positive-thin...

I think there's strength in honoring your authentic experience and feelings. Personally, I think it makes other people more comfortable that this cancer thing isn't "that bad" if we have our "game faces" on. But seriously, it sucks, and if there was ever something worthy of crying/being emo in public/at your doctors -this is certainly one of those things!

Hang in there, Tuesday will come eventually, as will surgery and treatment. I remember feeling so relieved as my first feeling waking up after my mastectomy. My ob/gyn at the time who had come to visit me said "that's just the morphine talking." I disagreed with her then, and still do now. I hope you're able to get things rolling very quickly... but, as you know, this is a long road, rest and be kind to yourself if you can. Hugs.

I wouldn't call it "whining and complaining". I'd call it "an entirely normal reaction to a terrifying diagnosis, with treatments that are at best disruptive". My father (stage IV melanoma) said "The waiting is the worst part." I'm not too far ahead of you in the diagnosis/treatment sequence, but he's right: getting the official diagnosis will be a relief, and working out your treatment plan will be a relief.

Demystifying what lies ahead might help too: see if you can figure out what's bothering you specifically, other than the obvious "I have just been diagnosed with cancer." and ask people ahead of you "How did you handle [insert what's worrying you most]?" (I'm not even going to hazard a guess what that might be. I don't know what your background is, ,much less your prognosis.)

That said, all this is an emotional rollercoaster--you're going to have good days and bad days even without any changes in either diagnosis or treatment. Don't be shy about asking for emotional help, here, or through your local oncology network. Maybe a support group, maybe a meeting with a psychologist who's aware of how cancer treatment affects us mentally, maybe someone from the American Cancer Society's Reach to Recovery program.

Whine away! I don't think there is anyone here that hasn't whined at some point. You will learn to draw strength from the people here. We are all in this mess together and you are not alone.

Murphy,

The stress & anxiety can/does cause eating issues. I lost 20 lbs very quickly after dx & surgery. I continued to lose weight during chemo. That was 2 years ago. I started gaining weight just in the last few months.

Please, do not be ashamed of your emotions. I felt like I had to be strong, set a example to my kids. That wears down. I ended up with PTSD. We seem to expect so much of ourselves. It's a roller coaster of a ride, we want off, now.

Hope you get over thatcold quickly.

We are all here for you, Sbeddows! Hugs

Gentle hugs to you sb.....once you have your treatment plan in place, it will get much easier. The beginning part can be challenging with all of the decisions. I hope your cold gets better quickly. Take it one step at a time.

Murphy, Hang in there. You will get through this too. Gentle hugs to you as well.

I was just recently diagnosed also. Go to this forum, newly diagnosed, then to members for 10 years or more, inspiring stories that will make you feel better, look at ruru99's story. I know reading these helped me. The best advice I have received was just to deal with what you know today, don't let your mind jump ahead. Treatment has come such a long way. Don't let tomorrows worries rob you of todays strengths.

sb, ask your MO to prescribe you an anti anxiety med to get you through this time. Let them know you're having a difficult time. Ativan does help to take the edge off. I took it all through treatment. You can't continue at this high stress state. Please, please talk to your doctor.

Maybe you can ask your primary care doctor? I can't imagine them turning you down considering the circumstances.

Thinking of you and hope things are getting somewhat easier. The first days were the worst. It does get easier once you meet with everyone and have a plan and more information. I will be having surgery in a few days and feel much more in control now. Hope you asked your Dr. for something to help with the anxiety, that is pretty standard for all newly diagnosed.

Thinking of you sbeddows. Best wishes to you on Wednesday. You may want to ask for a copy of your pathology report, and take someone with you to take some notes. Some even suggest a small recorder. I found things at the beginning are so overwhelming, most of the info went in one ear and out the other. Hang in there!!