INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

Sas-shatzi: yes, please send me the threads? At this point, subsequent treatment is a bit up in the air until Wednesday--depends on whether Dr. Surgeon got clean margins with partial/lumpectomy #2. If he did: radiation, then tamoxifen. If he didn't: skip the rads (I think) and go straight to tamoxifen. No chemo, unless the pathology report this time produces something horrifying/startling. But all the tests so far have indicated only the Stage 0 the mammo/biopsy uncovered this year. Thank God! (My sympathies to all the women who woke up from anesthesia only to find their surgeon standing by their bedside to say "I'm sorry, you're sicker than we thought you were.")

Thank you for chiming in on the nip/no nip issue. Michigan's not nearly the greenhouse inferno that Florida is, even at it's hottest. I don't know if I'd ever be small enough to go braless, if I keep what remains of my natural left breast, but up here there's the cold response. Or in my case, the lack of it on one side. I'm thinking more and more to shoot for some kind of reshaping for my left breast, skip the nip, and go for one of those gorgeous tattoos. Possibly something incorporating the pattern of my scarring--morning glories? honeysuckle? But I haven't decided. Any thoughts, board participants? Emotional despond to lack of nips? Suggestions for tattoo pattern?

PattyPeppermint: huh. Good point! Making a list of things to ask Dr. Surgeon about on Wednesday.That'll be one of them! (now envisioning a sort of suction cup dart.....)

My hands are slowly getting better. No blisters this week. My face is chapped..go figure. I got the Uncle Fester with the chapped lips look going on.

I have those pictures in my head as I dance Sas!

Back from the psychologist; we arranged for future meetings. She seems inclined to concentrate, for the moment, on stress/anxiety relief techniques, which is entirely appropriate! We'll see if I need chemical intervention as well.

for queenie (new name) (Chevy, you missed it!). Anyway, my 2 cents worth on nipples. Don't have any now. Why? Because 13 years ago I had a breast lift and they move the nipples up. So with the bmx they weren't going to be able to save them. It was fine with me because they have never been very sensitive anyway. Didn't want to bother with reconstructing them either, figured it was just something to go wrong. I did want to have the 3d looking tattoos done by Vinnie. But don't care about that now since I had to have new girls 7 months ago. Maybe someday I'll get a fancy tattoo done.

Patty, OMD, didn't know they made stick on nipples. What a hoot. I'll look those up on google! Hahahahahah

Going with or without a bra- didn't wear a bra with the TEs or implants with the first go-around. Then when I lost 40# the PS swears that's why the girls started hurting and dropping. Now I have to wear a bra or they hurt too much. Didn't change size that much, 550 to 585.

Smaarty: thank you. Nice to hear another "don't worry about it" vote. Just curious: how about the unilateral nippleless look? anyone gone through that?

Wow you ladies are busy today! Nipples that can be put on and removed? That is brilliant Patty!

The memorial service today was lovely, but also incredibly sad. The service was well attended and there was a nice gathering afterwards. Many young people got up and shared memories. She sounded like an awesome young woman. So much shock and sadness around this though. I knew it would be a tough afternoon. My friend is of course, quite heartbroken.

I got a call from the insurance company today again about more info on the hit and run. Why am I being made to feel like I am making this up? I only had one other hit and run in my life and the treatment was the same. Do they think I enjoy any of this? All the work has been done on this and it sounds like she has the police report so reclassify it under uninsured motorist, so I can get my car in to be fixed please? I will be up for the fight if need be. Twenty or more years with one or more cars insured and no claims, and don't like the way I am being treated.

Hugs to Rose this afternoon. Well heck, hugs to everyone.

Queenie, I'm flat and happy. No recon, nips, or tats in my future, ever. No bras, foobs, poofs, nothing.

If somebody thinks I look weird flat, their problem, not mine. My only problem has been swim wear, and I'm working on that.

Nope,didn't  get out of the car at publix

I slept AAAALL day! But now I feel like I've got a little energy as opposed to the last round where I had zero get-up-n-go!

Frey--those hands look painful! I've luckily avoided skin issues until I woke up a little while ago and noticed red spots and swelling at the corner of my mouth. It's almost like chemo says to us: "Well, you managed that curveball, let's see how you handle this one!".

Chevy--I get the travel genes from my parents. Dad was born in PA, mom in AR, so every other summer we would pack up the station wagon and head east. On the opposite summers, we would go to Hawaii. Dad is a retired engineer that worked for the Navy so he had to go to Barking Sands, Kauai for missle tests so he would take his hotel room per diem and rent a condo for us. So I've been to 49 states (Alaska is on the Bucket List). In between trips, we camped a lot. Camping is a LOT of work. It's much easier to stay in a hotel and have someone else cook and clean up after you.

Queenie--we have a lot in common. My dad is also 77 and has had 2 cancers: prostate @ 65 and chronic lymphocytic leukemia @ 72. I still end up talking to him more than my mom because she's a retired RN and kind of a hard ass. There was no helicopter parenting from her! Love them both, but my dad's always been the empathetic one. It can be awkward at first, but since this is my third go around with breast issues, he's used to it. The first was a benign prolactinoma on my pituitary gland (prolactin is the breast feeding hormone). The second, on Christmas morning 2010, involves a pot of boiling water for blanching, 2 pounds of Brussels sprouts and a klutzy woman. That equation will get you second degree burns that cover all of both breasts in the pattern of a Valentine's heart with the point being just above the navel (couldn't have drawn it better if I'd tried!), plus three weeks of debridement and a nip that likes to play more hide than seek.

So on the nipples subject, I have had a lumpectomy for my BC but I have had nipple reconstruction. Even after surgery to fix the inverted one, it's not right, won't ever be right and I'm okay with that. Most of my pigment is gone from both nipples from the burn and I've contemplated getting them tattooed but I've decided that I've got better things to do with my time.

Sas--oh, the dick analogies. When my dad had prostate cancer and opted for surgery, he made all kinds of Dick-ectomy jokes. Talk about awkward--when all of us children were in his hospital room after the surgery, the first thing my mom did was throw back his sheet and say "Yup, still there. Just checking!".

Loverly--thanks for the guided meditation. That's pretty much how I go to sleep every day.

<waving at anyone I missed!>

I think the other reason that I may have slept all day is that today is the 37th anniversary of the death of my older brother (auto-erotic asphyxiation at age 13). It gets easier, but it never completely goes away.

ds2 and me getting our silly on

Awww...such darlings!! I don't believe a word of what you said about your great niece. Look at that angelic face!!

A nip pic?!? Patty, I know you are transparent, but you are not going to give us a topless pic of yourself...are you ???

lovey. - oh no not that transparent. (Blushing ). I will put the nips on the table and take pics. Lol. My insurance provides so many bras every 6 mo. I can get bras, swimming wear, camisoles and nighties for free. A couple times ago when I went in to get some bras the owner had these set aside for me. Said was something new they were carrying.