April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

Steph, I hope you survived the chair today with no further ill-effects. Sending you good thoughts!

Princess, hope you get feeling better and get some answers!

Ksusan, no giant bug zapper for you, huh? Dang It! Sounds like your mom and mine would get along.

Gawwwwddddd....6 more days until final chemo. Almost wore myself into total ambivalence about it. On one hand, chemo bites the big one. On the other hand, I feel like its keeping me safe...So glad you guys all get it. No one else does! This group is the best! My husband has totally checked out through the whole process. Hasn't been to one treatment, hasn't even driven me. He has managed to be gone for most of the last few months. I bet he won't go to my Radiation consult next week. Luckily, my parents are making the 3 hour drive over to be with me, and my Dad has been staying with me this week and cooking me breakfast every morning. He's so sweet. I am greatful for my parents, even when my Mom says creepy shit.

I hear ya' on the weight gain. I've gained 1-2lbs with each chemo every 3 weeks. Crave pasta, potatoes, bread and ice cream. I'm determined to up my walking, yoga and whatever else I can when I can during these next 2 I have. Im hoping it is mostly water weight that comes off fast?! After chemo will go back to more of my favs: fresh fruits, veggies, green tea. For now just riding the chemo steroid wave.

Gatekeeper at imaging center says I have to be menopausal to have the bone scan paid for by insurance. ?? Medically I'm not menopausal because I still produce estradiol and menstruated within the last two years. Wondering, though, if for these purposes "menopausal" just means "no periods." I was under the impression that a baseline bone density scan was pro forma prior to hormone suppression.

I had last chemo yesterday!! Yay. So ready to finished with chemo. Have rads mapping next Wednesday but not sure of start date yet. 6 weeks.

Good luck to everyone else finishing up! It's been a roller coaster ride for sure.

Gina.

Kniterly- CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎈🎈🎈🎈😂😂😂🎈🎉🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔

Ring that bell! Although it is a moral victory and will help you mentally to know you are done, please make sure your circle of peeps understand your body is not done, and you still will need plenty of support for awhile. I am just two weeks out from finishing TC X 6 and I feel like unabated and unrelenting shit.

Princess- glad to hear that temp has come down a bit. So worrying.

Karen- I hadn't read before about your crushing bone pain in 2013. So sorry to hear that. But it helps me a bit to know. The combo of Neulasta and Taxotere has been powerfully painful, debilitating, and relentless. Also mentally helpful to hear about the water retention issue. Hopefully I will drop some of that over the next months.

Ksusan- good luck straightening that scan issue out. I do hate it when gatekeepers get big for their britches and are wrong to boot!

And Little Blue- I wanted to say something to you but found I wasn't finding the right words, so I delayed. But even without the right words, I wanted to say thanks for reaching "back to the future" to March to always be supportive of us, and in particular to me. It took on additional significance and poignance for me when you shared the other day that your not so DH has been absent for you during this time. That must be an awful blow. I am single, (recently finally divorced) so although I don't truly understand what this feels like, I do know that it's been disappointing when any friend or loved one has gone awol. And the more I expected from them, the more disappointing their disappearing act has been. I am very glad you shared, and I'm very sorry. Sending hugs. You have maintained a killer sense of humor and decorum through it all. A true class act.

Everybody in the chair or feeling the SEs today, know there are many invisible hands holding yours right now.

rpayton: Go get that good stuff! I love your attitude, and you are definitely going to kick ass next week..even if kicking ass just means curling up on the couch and enjoying the AC. We are so worth it!

Glad you are feeling a bit better, Princess!

CONGRATS, GINA!!!!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

ksusan: gatekeepers are stupid. insurance is stupid too. I moon your gatekeeper. (*)...thats my my bare heiny.

Katie, so sorry you aren't feeling good yet. you are always so wise and well spoken, even in the depths of discomfort. I'm mooning your side effect, cause side effects are stupid too! big hugs!

Well, had a PT appointment today...jeeze, my brain hurts. not my body, my brain. She has me activating all my core muscles, working on upper back strength, and trying to stretch my scars. I also got a lymph sleeve and gauntlet. It seemed like a good idea, and what do ya know, wearing the sleeve feels good. the gauntlet may be too small. So anyways, throwing it out there if anyone is on the fence about PT..I was super fit before cancer, and now I'm really not, but physical therapy is going to be a great tool. She said that they used to just kick people to the curb after treatment, but now that so many women are getting treated early and surviving, they are starting to be aggressive with QOL things like PT. Yup. Surviving. Not dying of breast cancer. And they treat a LOT of young women at my hospital, unfortunatly, so she knows wheroff she speaks. It ain't no bad cold, but it ain't no death sentence either. I know we all know that, but it never hurts to reinforce it!

Hi Ladies, last day of vacation for me :-( We pack up and go home tomorrow. Today was busy with breakfast out, the beach, and ended with having cooked lobsters and steamers delivered. Although I hate for it to end, it was a great two weeks, even with the time out for treatment and having to deal with side effects while I was here.

Jen, do you know - or does anyone know if PT is recommended if you've just had lumpectomy and chemo? I could sure use some help getting my core back in shape. My walking this week has brought me a blister, strained achilles, and 3 bruised and soon to fall off toe nails, but I'd like to continue with activity when I get back.

Rene, thinking of you and everyone else that was in the chair this week. Will you do anything different based on your SE last time? This time I tried to keep up with the ibu, and I think it did help. I haven't had any since Wednesday now, and I'm happy about that. I think the most annoying SE that is left is my leaking eyes and nose. Especially nose - embarrassing to have snot just start dripping out . . .

KB, I am so sorry to hear about your taste buds. Yuck. As you know, I was afraid to hear about that SE, but I'm not getting it (KOW). I have one day when my mouth feels like one day after burning it on hot coffee or something. Then it gets better.

Regarding weight, I have been bouncing up and down the same ~5 pounds. At one point, I dropped down about 6 and stayed there for a couple of days - I was thinking it was about time seeing as I haven't been drinking, it means a lot of calories that I have not been consuming. Once the warmer weather hit, I've been indulging in ice coffees - which I drink with cream, even though I usually drink hot coffee black. I still don't think it's as many calories as the wine and drinks. Anyway, it doesn't seem to make a difference, but I'm glad that I haven't gained. I will be interested to see what i weigh after vacation. I certainly have indulged in favorite vacation food and treats, but the constant exercise has always been the only way that i can lose weight.

Lorraine, sorry to hear about your BF. It's hard enough to navigate relationships when everything is "ok", never mind when we are ill. I admire your attitude - it takes effort to let stuff go. I still don't know what DH is thinking about all this - he just continues on like nothing is going on. He's one of these "askholes" - someone who constantly asks stupid questions or things he's already asked me. I just don't have the energy for it, I've started to just say "I don't know." even when he asks me something like "what day is it?".

Counting down to T#3 on Monday - trying to stay in the moment of these "good" days until then (and even take advantage of being jacked on steroids for a couple of days).

Lynne

Woo! Littleblue moon!

#29: I am grateful to begin frying the mutants.

Again, cancer.

Kbeee you will look great halo or not on that ball cap. Hang in there on the eyebrows. I hear they have latisse now for eyelashes and brows. Going to talk to my internal med Dr after chemo.

Lynne vacation photos awesome and great memories you have made to reflect on.

Littleblue my reaction exactly on the spider photos. Haha

Hope everyone doing well one day at a time. Already have no taste, metal mouth this morn. Yuck.

But keeping busy getting better at crochet. My meditation. My niece has her first birthday in Sept. Starting a little collection for her.

RPayton- what a lovely collection! So nice to have something you can pick up and put down. Not so easy I imagine, to keep track of the pattern with chemo brain, haha.The work is beautiful! And every time you see you grandchild in them, I hope it reminds you not of tough times, but how tough you've been during these times. You should be very proud of any accomplishment while going through all of this- but these are exceptional !!!

I meant to say the adorable lavender hat is my favorite so far. I used to knit when my mom was alive. She would fix my mistakes. I could never get out of the messes I got my work into. She taught herself to quilt, and later after she passed, I took some classes so I could connect with her memory. Some of you may have seen this already, but this is a 4th of July quilt I did about 4 years ago. (Hope you all don't mind me horning in on your group- I'm starting to feel it's a second home....)

I ran out of fabric on the back, so a more experienced friend helped me devise this Popsicle on a stick so the mistake wouldn't be noticed. Some of the best things come from boo boos. Haha.

Hi Everyone!

I just finished my DD Taxol yesterday - my last Neulasta shot today - and in 12 days I have my last DD Taxol. The SE's are just starting to hit - nauseous, tired, and losing my taste buds - but knowing the end is in sight is helping psychologically. I'm glad that the chemo is almost done but know I'm overwhelmed with my next stage - Surgery. It will be scheduled at my next appointment when I meet with BS.

As much as I feel good about my doctors and the care I've got so far - I can't seem to get an answer that makes sense on choice of surgeries. I'm 95% sure I'm opting for double mastectomy with reconstruction but they keep telling me that there is no evidence that a lumpectomy wouldn't offer me the same protection. That doesn't even make sense to me. I'm triple negative, at least 2 lymph nodes were positive, and tumor was 4 cm's when I started. They emphasized how fast growing everything was at the beginning; how can it not be better to remove all of the breast tissue? Anyone else have a similar experience?? They told me I for sure am getting radiation either way. I guess my feeling is - I think I need it for my mental health. I want to know I did everything I could with no regrets. Does that make sense?

I cracked up with all the eyebrow stories. My right one has just thinned a little - but my left one has completely disappeared on the outside about half way...so I feel like I need to draw it on before I go out. My eyelashes are sporadic so I quit wearing mascara - it just draws more attention to them. If I thought there was even a chance that I could put on false eyelashes successfully I'd try it - but I know myself too well!

Georgie- I had the double. I was also told and read for myself what Kbee just explained. My main reason was that I didn't want to have the continued screenings, scannings, pokings and proddings that would have continued if there was something there to run through a machine. It was almost an entirely psychological reason. For me, I just didn't want to live that way. I had very large and dense breasts, and I felt certain that down the road there would be "suspiciousnes" of a nature that would require biopsies ....... And waiting for results.....the dreaded waiting.

It is a very individual decision. The ONLY important thing is that you do and get what is right for you. YOU.