Starting Chemo May 2015
Comments
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I'm very tired. Just putting away dishes, my arms feel like lead weights. The hot flashes are also disrupting my sleep and not helping with fatigue.
tjh--I make food a lot and bring it into work. When I made some gluten free mac and cheese a couple of weeks ago, I warned everyone that I didn't add any additional salt because my taster is broken.
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Ohhhhh, I hurt all over. This is worse this time. I think I was up more with round 2, but with this one I just want to stay close to my bed. Trying to drink water and eat. I have to have a CT scan on Wednesdsy from coughing. Anyone else coughing. I only cough upright, not laying down. I sure hope this gets rid of sol csncer cells because it is a long road! I want to feel normal again......have not since surgery April 10. Even a little normal would be nice
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So sorry to hear you are hurting Mysunshine... come on girl... you can do this, Keep imagining those cancer cells dying!! ((((Hugs))). The 'new' normal is coming, though personally I'd rather have the 'old' normal back!! I hope the cough lets up too and the scan is good. x
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Morning ladies!
Finished AC #4 on Thursday and I definitely cried when I finished! Now there's a new wrench being thrown into my possible treatment so cross your fingers for me. As of now I'm supposed to do dose dense taxol 4 times every other week. Which means I'd be at the half way point right now. Now my MO says that depending on my ultrasound results on my lymph nodes (had it on friday waiting to hear back) and also depending on my genetic tests, we might have to switch to regular taxol (12 doses) and add carboplatin. I REALLY don't think I can handle 12 more sessions. I think I my brain had 8 total sessions in mind and now that it might change, I'm having a slight mental breakdown about it and start crying every time I think about it.
On the plus, two of my best friends from NJ flew down this past weekend after my treatment Thursday. We really did nothing except hang out at their hotel room, play cards, eat, napped (well I napped I think they just watched tv), etc. It was a nice little break and we had some much needed laughs. Although now of course I'm an emotional mess and miss them like crazy since they left last night.
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Stef, I totally understand when you have your mind set on a plan and then it unexpectedly changes. But if it helps at all, the 12 sessions of T are supposed to be a little gentler side effects-wise than the dose dense, so if it comes to that maybe it won't be as bad as you are thinking. I'll still keep my fingers crossed that you can go ahead with your original plan! Hang in there
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Hang in there Steflove! I know how you feel when you have your mind set on something and then to have your plans changed. I experienced that every time I got a new scan. Something new always comes up and it throws a wrench in the plans. Stay positive and forge on! We will get through this!
Mysunshine, I also have had a cough for the past 1 and 1/2 weeks. It usually happens when I lie down though. My MO didn't think much of it though. I wonder if I should be getting a scan too.
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I understand how you feel Stef, going into surgery and even when I came out of surgery everyone was still saying no chemo so I was ready to spend a few weeks of summer doing radiation and that would be it. Then that dang pathology report came back and here I am starting cycle 2 (of 4) AC this week and then I'll do the same 12 weeks of T that you're looking at. It's certainly thrown my planning off for the year. I certainly hope that's true that the 12 weeks is gentler.
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Crying is reasonable Steflove... hang in there! ((hugs))
Living in this "cancer world" is bizarre... now here I am sat here worrying (I'm a chronic worrier) that I'm not sick enough... maybe the chemo isn't working on me... and I haven't had any more scans.... do I need more? Am I really nearly done (1 more TC to go). Then what.... what's going to get thrown at me next...something/nothing ???? I feel for all of you and wish all of you the best results, health, happiness and normalcy or at the very least some sense of it.... sigh....
I should say I will be having a bone scan again in a little while (not scheduled yet) to recheck what they believe to be a benign 'something or other' in my right arm. Scared the life out of me when I had the first scan. The result was 'no metastasis' but they still recommended a re-scan in 3 to 4 months which should be sometime in July. I try to put it out of my mind, but it creeps back in on days like this.
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I have finally turned the corner and am feeling better, tired but feeling good. It took a full week this time. The first round it took 4 days and I wasn't still tired. Hopefully my tastebuds will return a little as well. I keep telling myself...only 1 more time and that is helping. My nails are not changing. I have been keeping them shorter and I have calcium gel nail hardener on them. No color, just clear. My eyelashes and eyebrow are 90% gone. AND the sun is shining!
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Sorry for my rant.... being a bit of a drama queen..... I've taken a deep breath, but I hate what this does to my head! You are right tjh, the sun is shining (well sort of here), I have one left and I still have peach fuzz on my head and a little body hair, but my eyelashes and eyebrow don't look much different. My nails are okay too. I have clear nail hardener on too.
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marlanab- i made a chicken brocolli casserole a few days ago, and dajavu!! We had the same conversation at me not being able to taste so i couldn't promise how it was going to taste
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Hang in there, Catsrus! I'm sure the chemo is doing it's job and that your scans will be a-ok!
tjh, glad you are feeling better. Each round has taken me a few extra days to feel better again....which is annoying! But it's comforting to know that I WILL get to that point where everything isn't so awful
Steflove, forgot to say CONGRATS on finishing AC!!!!! It's such a huge accomplishment. You should feel proud of yourself!
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Mysunshine- I'm not sure where you live but if it's a dry heat,you may want to try a humidifier. I live in the southwest and if I get a cough, it's usually dry and the humidifier just gets things moving. Just a suggestion. Good Luck and Feel Better!
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I can't WAIT until Thursday is over - last day of TC. I'm still not anywhere near 100% after the 3rd round. Still weak, tired, and have drippy eyes and hot flashes. One month from now I'll be into my radiation. I should be done with radiation the Friday before Labor Day... just as my kids are heading back to school. My Dad and I have a saying (been saying it daily since my mom passed away unexpectedly last June) - One day at a time Lord Jesus, one day at a time! That says it all for me!
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Yes, I say that too.....One day at a time.......
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Mysunshine--sorry that you're feeling so poorly. Round 2 had me sprawled out on the couch and not moving for almost 3 days. I'm still coughing a little from the bronchitis I developed after round 1 plus I have cough-variant asthma. Be on the watch for an infection because our immune systems are very week right now.
Stef--I kind of know that feeling. My first round of chemo got bumped a day earlier because of the Memorial Day holiday and it had me almost in tears. We have so little control over everything right now that any change throws me for a loop.
Cats--rant away, that's what we're here for.
klanders--the hot flashes are killing me! I think I would not be as tired if I could sleep for more than an hour before a hot flash wakes me up.
Shanann--too funny. Now I'm wracking my brain for what to make for the 4th of July--I have to work and we're all bringing something so I have to figure out something I can't screw up. Normally, I'm one of those cooks who can just start throwing things to together without a recipe because I have a great sense of taste but I'm a little out to sea with my taster broken.
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klanders - My last TC is 7/9 and I've already started the countdown! I seem more tired after #3, but part of it may be summer and no schedule to adhear to. Finally felt up to a big clean up project today and lasted about 3 hours, which is quite an accomplishment these days! I don't so much have hot flashes as I feel like I'm heating up from the inside out. I feel like its the TC trying to work its way out. I refer to it as a chemoflash!
I got a muscle cramp in my right arm (same side as MX) the other night and it is stil sore. My PT worked on it today and said it was muscular, but all I can think is BONE METS! Worried that this is how I'm going to feel every time something feels off. Going to ask my MO about it next Thursday, but I doubt she'll do a scan. Trying to find a balance between vigilence and paranoia!
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fatigue hit big time today.... one of my cats is trying to cheer me up though
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Cute picture, Cats. I have a kitty too, but she is 12 and sleeps most of the time. You are SO lucky if you still get no bone pain. I am taking Claritin and cannot imagine how it would be foe me without it. My arms, legs and hips hurt so much I can hardly walk. Last time the hip area still hurt after three weeks. OhhhhhhAnyone else get lingering bone pain? I know I should exercise and walk, buy I can only walk around my house a little bit. SURE hope this goes away after last trestment.
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Mysunshine -- I had severe bone pain when I had neupogen after round 1. It only lasted around 4 days but I still get a little twinge in my hips and tailbone area. I didn't have to do the shots after round 2 because my WBC was over 16,000 with 9700 being from neutrophils.
Scarlett -- I think it's normal to be paranoid. I keep having little pains down near my ovaries and sharp pains in my head that have me a little worried. In the case of my ovaries, I think it may be the chemo shutting them down. Not sure what causing the headaches and they're really sharp and at two specific spots in my head, not at all like the headache that I get the first few days after a each round. I see my MO next Tuesday so hopefully she'll have some ideas.
Cute pic, Cats. One of my dogs decided I needed a snuggle companion on the patio swing a couple of days after round 2:
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Marlanab, your large furry snugglebum is gorgeous! We only have cats now but many years ago, we immigrated from the UK with a large furry dog (a Bearded Collie) along with a cat. Wouldn't have moved without them.
MySunshine, hope you are feeling better. Yes, I'm lucky I haven't had any bone pain. I felt awful this afternoon - head buzzed and buzzed, heart pounded... but, at least at the moment, I feel a little better. Very, very tired though. I'm going to try and keep DH company for a while but pretty sure it'll be a very early night for me.
Scarlett, glad you are on your countdown. I get odd aches and pains too and imagine all sorts. This week it's worse when I'm at my lowest point. I have to remind myself my positivity *will* return.
To all you kitchen goddesses creating delicious sounding dishes, all I can say is.... thank goodness for my DH.... I wouldn't starve, but.... 😉
Canada Day here tomorrow... think I'm be spending it relaxing (for a change) so I wish Happy Canada to Canadians reading and a glorious 4th July to my American friends here.
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Cats...do you sleep all night? Because of bone pain and the expsnders, I hsve to sleep in one position, so I am up at all hours. Have to go to the bathroom a lot too
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I don't sleep too badly. no expanders, no bone pain. I do have to make several trips to the bathroom but I can usually go back to sleep fairly quickly. I usually have to read for a while before I can fall asleep and often read very early in the morning.... I find it the best way to stop my brain dwelling on thoughts I don't want it to. I have always read a lot but these last few months I've gone into overdrive, I think I would have gone insane without my books
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My Sunshine- I have pretty bad bone pain and expanders, too. I have a hard time sleeping but I have trained myself to sleep on my back most of the time. I do sometimes take a half an Ambien if I know it's going to be a rough night. This helps. I also take medical marijuana in the form of CBDs and they help with the pain, too.
Good Luck! I am going to attempt some shut eye now
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I am jazzed up after 16 mg of Decadron. So probably not much sleep tonight. Maybe the Benadryl will allow me to snooze.
Happy Canada Day!
TCH #3 of 6 half way done. Congrats to those finished with AC.
Getting my stuff together for the daylight part of the morning.
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i am in the chair receiving #4 Red Devil- ladt one, thank you, God!! I'm going to try 4 rounds of T
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Shanann, yahoooo! Last red devil! Good luck in the chair today...keep reminding yourself that this is the last one of that awful stuff!!
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Alas only 90 min of sleep. Just took off the cold mitts and booties and warming up. Now I can doze thru C an H. Half way done.
MO said I can cut decadron back to 8mg day before and 4 the day after. Talk about red face, tachycarda and blood sugar over 200.
No pneumonia vaccine until 3-4 weeks post last TC.
Yea Shanann
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Ok...ranting and venting time... sorry ladies....
So much for only having 4 Taxols left
I had an ultrasound on my lymph nodes Friday and while it looks 'amazing' and there was nothing visible, my oncologist presented my case to the cancer board on Tuesday. She said it was unanimous and all the oncologists there said that I was too damn young (I'm 34) for this and that instead of just doing dose dense Taxol, they all recommended 12 taxols with 4 carboplatins. I'm crushed and devestated. I know so many people are on this regimen but I wasn't mentally prepared for it. In my head I was halfway done and now boom.... I have 12 more sessions to go.Sorry for the venting. I've been crying nonstop pretty much since yesterday when the nurse called me to tell me. I went in today to talk to my oncologist and just sat there and bawled with her in the room, my best friend in the room, and my dad on the phone. After she left the nurse came in and I bawled some more.
I'm sure the zoladex shot I had yesterday isn't helping this whole crying thing either lol
Ughhhhhhhhhh I need a drink haha
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steflove--hugs. But you've made it this far and you're strong enough to make it through this. I was given an option of chemo because of my age (45) and I chose it. I tell myself I'm doing this now so I don't have to do it again somewhere down the line. No one wants to go through this a second time. Let that be your mantra and throw everything you have, including the kitchen sink, at it this time so it goes away and stays gone. I cried when I made my decision but then I got angry. I'm still angry. My mantra is "F¥€% cancer!" I say it a lot and even wear a charm on my watch that says it.
Shanann--Yay! Done with that red beast!
Roses--I'm in the same sleep deprived boat but mine's due to hot flashes. I've got ANOTHER sore throat and I know it's because I'm getting run down from lack of sleep and my immune system can't take it. I'm happy for you that your MO reduced the decadron so you can get some sleep.
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