July 2015 Surgery Sisters

Mira, You have a lot on your plate right now. Maybe try to only think about one step at a time? I know, easier said than done! Have you had your node biopsied? If so, what was the result? Try not to think about chemo yet. Do you have complete pathology of your tumor? Grade 1, 2, 3?

I loved my boobs! So disappointed that they tried to kill me! I still have them, but they are smaller and have some thin scars that only my DH and every medical professional around will see.

I loved my hair, too. It was soft, wavy, long with only a few grays. When I was diagnosed, I cut it shorter. When I found out about chemo, I went with a very short pixie cut. I cried once when it fell out in handfuls, but that was all I was going to allow. We all handle it differently, and that's the way it's supposed to be. I have two wigs: one a short and sassy bob, reddish with highlights, the other long, brunette with some red in it... very much like my regular hair. The wigs looked great and I wore them on occasion. Most of the time I wore scarves. Women would stop me and ask me how I tied them. LOL I wore hats, too. Around the house, I went bare bald head. I thought it would scare my kids, but it didn't even phase them. Anyway, some of my chemo sisters didn't tell any of their coworkers what they were going through. Some had wigs that looked like their original hair and just commented that they got a new cut or were trying a slightly different color. One woman said she was having a make over and got a shorter wig, since they are easier to manage and less hot.

Keep in mind that your insurance will usually cover postsurgery bras. Wigs, too, although they are referred to as "hair prosthetics". LOL

My sharp mind was actually the most difficult loss. My intelligence was my most treasured characteristic. It's getting better, but I'm still dealing with it.

Back in the day, I worked in a "man's" job. I was a hazardous materials specialist with a fire department. I felt the pressure and knew I had to be excellent at my job at all times. That said, when I needed assistance, my co-workers were there supporting me. If anyone from the outside said anything negative about me, my co-workers would handle it and "correct" the outsider. My point is, you don't know how your coworkers will react. They don't have to know the details, but if you miss a lot of work, they will know something is up. They may even surprise you with their support.

Most importantly, don't be too hard on yourself.

Gosh, I hope I haven't disturbed your topic too much. I just think it would be a shame to have gone through this entire thing and not share what I've learned and try to help others.

I just have to mention to all the gals having surgery in July, it may be a good idea to anticipate constipation and prepare yourself prior. Ask your doctor about starting to take senna tablets the day before surgery.

I am in the unfortunate position of not having a bm for a week now. I had to be at the hospital at 6am on Monday morning and because I couldn't eat or drink from midnight onward it threw off my routine. Generally I can just get a whiff of morning coffee and I high tail it for the bathroom! 😝

Anyway, with chemo I had the same problem with all the drugs and I developed awful hemorrhoids because of the constipation, which was one of the most painful side effects I experienced. I dreaded going to the bathroom.

So, I just want you all to avoid it if you can. Here's a good article about the topic. http://www.health.harvard.edu/pain/pain-relief-opioids-and-constipation

Good luck to you all! Be strong! Oh, that reminds me ~ it's not a bad idea to get the abs in shape before mastectomies; you'll be relying on them to get you out of bed!

poppy, Ilovepugs, thank you for the great advice. I will definitely try to keep things in perspective.

Free123, I'm scheduled for 3 days after you but anxious to get this over with too! Counting down days. I have only 8 more days at the office to get things seemingly under control before I take a leave of 4 weeks. It's s hood distraction to the reAl issues and certain concerns I have for post op.

Right now, less than 2 weeks away, every time I get dressed, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how things will change. "Will this top work? or maybe only if I wear prosthetics?" and so on. "What kind of swimsuit am I going to get for the end of summer to play with my son in the water?" I have a June birthday but told my husband to hold off on a gift. Maybe I will ask him to get me one of those rash guard tops from Athleta or LLBean?

This is a personal question, but is anyone or has anyone taken a picture of their breasts before? I feel like I better do that. I'm not reconstructing so I won't have a PS do a before photo. Not sure I'll ever look at it after... But to have, just in case.

I know many women who have taken pictures to document their progress.... their breasts, bald heads, swollen feet. I didn't but understand why you might want to do so.

I advise anyone having any type of surgery (mx or lx) to put as many things at counter level or out on the counter so you don't have to bend and reach. I like clean counters, but cluttered made things so much easier.

Sorry for not clarifying: yes, the surgeon doesn't think he'd be able to save my nipple/areola. (Jeez, never thought I'd say something like that in a public forum!) I hadn't realized what might be possible in regards reconstructive surgery; I thought it was complete breast or nothing! I'll ask the surgeon if there's someone he could recommend for this.

Sensation wouldn't be restored, obviously, but looking a bit more normal would help. Thank you, everyone.

I'll send the private message off to the person maintaining that collection of images, though I understand I might have to have more of a presence on the boards before she feels comfortable adding me.

CAMommy, I'm sorry I see your date now, the 28th.

ispy, that's hilarious about the UPS guy. Well, you know he likes dogs, so that's a good start! Maybe go slow on the tattoos, and mention you're thinking about getting one (no details), and ask if he has any?? Lol If he says "yes", that's a good sign.

Oh Lordy, I'm laughing about the UPS guy- geez they're all good-looking, it must be a job requirement. Too funny, I guess we gotta get our kicks and giggles somewhere!!

ispy, I know what you mean about being someone's project. My sis-in-law kinda sees me as hers. She kept sending me inspirational quotes- and I finally had to tell her that I really wanted her to send me humor instead of deep, emotional quotes. Heartfelt, sentimental quotes were just too much for some reason, and made me feel like she thought I was dying. Then my best friend sent me an email about women using public restrooms- and I laughed so hard I nearly (and ironically) wet my pants. That's more what I need at this point.

Hmph. My regular UPS guy isn't particularly good looking. I mean, he does his job admirably--at one point, he mentioned to my husband, at work, "Oh, I've got a package for your wife; would you like me to give it to you now?"--but kinda ordinary looking.

(sulks)

jodib, I'm having a double with tissue expanders on the 7th- my incisions will be under my breasts- I had implants in 2001 and that is where the scars from that procedure are- my PS acted like that was where she usually placed the incisions, but that may have been bc I already had scars there?? She just indicated that underneath the breasts was the logical spot.

I, too, am going for the nipple/skin saving procedure. I hope it works! She did say my scar would be a bit longer than it is now, but it has never bothered me and I feel like it's a small price to pay. I will know more this Tues as I have my last pre-op with her. I'll let you know.

ispy, I am in the Mississippi delta- the home of the blues, Clarksdale. I am an empty-nester with a sweet husband who will be here to help. He just doesn't know where a lot of stuff is since he is usually on the farm and I tend to the day-to-day. And I like it that way!! It should be quite comical when I try to explain/describe things I need to him. Or more likely, I will burst into tears and then cuss. Oh well! It won't be the first time...

jodib, Of course!

going to put my kids to bed. summer hours. will be back on comp in 30 min. thank you! u have about a week and a half to go.

ispy....they are giving me the chioce on both. cancer a large enough area to not try to save the breast. (left) i am being put on tamoxifen so i wonder if the risk from the 5% of breast tissue that is left in a mastectomy changes if you leave a little bit more in the nipples. i had an mri and they determined that the effected area is far enough away from the nipples that they are giving me the option. i can not help but think why leave it too. i was leaning the other way, but rethinking as it approaches.i did not feel rushed at all.