April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

KBee, big hugs. I think I understand what your feeling. Ever since my recurrence DX, I've felt this was the beginning of the end. I am always a 'half full' type of person and felt so sure that I would beat this the first time around. Now, I'm not feeling at all confident. I try not to think about getting things in order, but honestly I do. I've read that a second diagnosis is much harder to take, so maybe this is what we are feeling and dealing with? I have to wonder if it is a way of coming to terms with mortality- not that an end is anytime soon, but having cancer makes us more aware that life doesn't go on forever. I hope after a good nights sleep, you will wake up knowing that you can do this and will be around for your youngest graduation!

Kbeeee! Oh sweetie, it's going to be ok. It's so good you have a sixth sense about your body, and it's saved yotur life so many times, buT all senses are wrong sometimes! Like when you swear you feel your phone vibrate but dont, after being on high alert for it? Sending you a big hug and a good night sleep filled with dreams about your great grandkids...

Renee, where are you in the MW? I am in Milwaukee.

Do you plan on staying out through radiation? My short term disability runs out before my rads would be through. Initially I was anxious to get back to work, but I no longer am. And I think the lack of stress from work is helping with my SEs. I believe I could go on Long-term DB til I'm done with rads, but feel like kind of a whoosy doing so....

kbeee, as you have told us, that's what we are here for! Thank you for being so honest in sharing your fears. That fu+@£ing abyss is always yawning in the back of the mind. It seems like today was a crash day for a lot of us! I blew my shrink off last time because I wanted to go for a run instead.

Ok ladies, time to think about our Glacier NP for next summer! I don't need firm commitments, buT here is what I'm thinking.

One big day hike, maybe shangri la basin or the Dawson Pitamakin loop. I can reserve a group camp site over on the east side, and there are numerous other lodging options..a beautiful historic hotel, several less historic motels outside the park but very close. You can fly into Kalispell, and rent a car, take Amtrak to East Glacier, or drive. I'm figuring a week or so all told? Maybe 3 nights? If you don't want to hike, there is Going to the Sun road over Logan pass, visiting the histoic lodges, boat tours, fishing...we can grill dinner or eat out, Two Sisters or the Luna cafe are awesome! Of course, drinks at the lodge one night..virgin or otherwise! Any thoughts?

Awesome kbee! Of course, Husband's and children are more than welcome, if that sweetens the idea for anyone..Ohhh..another short hike is Firebrand pass off of Marias Pass...and it's close to Mexican food 😁 We will definitely need to take a day to aclimate tomthenelevation. And I could slaughter a Margarita right now...bet we all could!

I'm probably in. Next summer's work schedule is a bit up in the air.

#16: I am grateful for homemade* sugar-free raspberry preserves (*not made by me, but by my lovely wife).

Hi all...

Insomnia rears its ugly head. And I have to be up early in the a.m. because a wonderful friend is coming over to weed my gardens for me

I'm sorry to hear about your dreams Kbeee...I totally get the fear that's behind them. Think of it as incentive to live the best life you can and look after yourself and enjoy your family. Battling cancer is not easy...it's a life-threatening illness and for all of us it's the great unknown. What will happen? I've looked after many palliative patients in my career so until I got cancer myself I thought of all cancer patients as emancipated, bald, dying...I know better now. We are fighters and we will win this battle!!!

Ksusan, love the swimwear! I must invest in something like that for when I get my PICC out!

Feeling great here aside from some mouth sores. And I went shopping for 2 1/2 hours today then had to nap when I got home. Hmm...that could explain the insomnia.

Sometimes I feel kind of out of it here because I am not on AC, Taxol, herceptin, etc. Just four doses of TC and I'm done chemo (last dose July 2). I consider myself lucky - the TC is not easy but at least it's over in 3 months. You folks who still have weeks ahead of you are so brave!

Re looking good...people say that to me all the time, I guess it's because I am not all thin and cancer-looking. But I have never been thin in the first place. I suppose chubby equals healthy-looking?

I'm rambling. Time for bed (again).

Andrea

LMFAO kbeee! That's pure gold...how is your head today? Hoping you had a peaceful nights sleep and dreamed of great grand children.

ksusan, I edit my previous post to include wives, partners, and significant others. No excuse, except chemo brain makes me stupid.

Andrea! I heart your new signature line...and I have insomnia too. Ambient does nothing for me.

Gingeel! Yes! It's gonna be fun! Google Earth Glacier NP if you want to get a taste, and enjoy your walk! It does seem like we are lonely few dose dense taxol ladies...is lynne doing DD as well? I feel like she might be. My next one is July 2. How have you been feeling? I got the bone and muscle pain and weakness and the congestion and throat funk and the acid stomache, but less than AC...

Heading to physical therapy here shortly...twice a week until rads start. Trying to force food into my unwilling tummy so I don't Ralph on the therapist from low blood sugar. Gething super bored with cancer....

Karen- I am also sending hugs your way to comfort you from your horrible dreams. Like Leigh says, not another thought anpbout it, K?

I koved your lyrics/poem! Too funny. Glad to see your sense of humor is intact. You are such a strong woman and an inspiration to all your girls here in the April group, and we feel the same way about you in March

So the very few hairs I had left on my head are growing LIKE CRAZY but no new hairs? WTF? Can it get any more attractive?

whooohooo Stacy! Way to go making plans and looking forward. Yes it's the little things but those things are big. Today I'm grateful for the antinausea and heartburn acid meds.

Kbee, great song! Hope you had a great night as well.

Littleblue, gonna check it out. Right now, I feel great! It's a full week post T#1, and my energy is full, which is good, cause the kids have a 1/2 day today, and go in for 1 hr tomorrow, and then they are finished with school! Taking them to the pool after lunch. The SE's from Taxol didn't hit me until day 4, I think. The abdominal cramps, the bone/ body pain, runny nose, headache, sore throat on one side, and unable to taste food. My pinky toes are tender, and I guess my lashes and brows are thinning, but you are right, those damn unwanted hairs! I still have a few pubes hanging on for dear life. Just fall out already.

Stacy, I gotta make port removal appt too! Congrats to you for actually knowing when it's coming out!

Went to the pool yesterday, took off my hat, in the shade of course, and a little girl was walking by, and stopped right in front of me and STARED at me for a good minute or so. LOL I wanted to say "SHOO!"....I guess I looked like a freak. haha

Jen, not sure about GP next summer. I really want to go to Greece - have been wanting to go there, and now with BC diagnosis, I mean to make it happen. I also take 2 weeks in June/July to go to ME, so vaca time and $ is limited. That said, I would be the going to the sun/historic hotel person :-) Like Jim Gaffigan says, I'm what you call "indoorsy". Actually, I like outdoors, by the pool preferably, with a good book. Seriously, I could do a hike, I like to walk, but definitely not a happy camper.

Lynne

PS, for my take on camping, watch this: Jim Gaffigan on Camping