April & May 2015 Surgery Sisters

SummerAngel, keep an eye on your temperature and I hope your fever breaks soon. Best wishes for your return to work next week. I hope the transition is easy for you and you don't find it too tiring.

Ladies, I'm abandoning the CYP2D6 and am thinking of looking into ER receptiveness a little more.

Sisters, I have tried to encourage you all to push yourselves a bit and exercise to your tolerance and ability levels. It will help you recover faster and energize you. Just as everyone's BC is different, our recoveries are all different. I am now in my 7^th week of recovery and have made a full recovery in almost all areas. I went into this with a super high level of fitness, no other health conditions and overall very healthy eating. After reading Kris Carr's Crazy Sexy Cancer, I started making daily cancer smoothies for several weeks with broccoli, kale, wheat grass, berries etc, but the fact was, they didn't taste all that great, so I don't make them as often. My diet was pretty clean before; nonetheless, I've improved it a bit and only buy organic produce and dairy and grass fed meat now to avoid hormones, pesticides and antibiotics. I like good food and I am still going to eat it. I am in the camp that cancer is a crapshoot, just like Jackbirdie's MO said. I'm not tossing out all my makeup and skincare. I will wear fragrance when I feel like it. We all have to decide the extent to which we want to eliminate things from our lives that may trigger cancer. All humans have the potential for cancer inside them and whether it's stress, inflammation, environmental toxins, whatever, their immune system can't overcome it and kill the beast. Shit happens. Cancer robs some of us more than others. I have decided that I am not going to live my life thinking of BC and a possible recurrence. I am going to live as full a life as possible, learn and try new things and continue to challenge myself. The 401 is a 16 lane highway, with 4 lane dividers, that runs across the top of Toronto. Drivers are aggressive, with a few psycho drivers thrown in. I have not calculated the statistical odds, but I wouldn't be surprised to find that my chances of a bad accident/death are greater driving on this highway than those of a recurrence. Yet, every time I get on that highway, I don't even think about the chances of an accident happening. I refuse to live my life in fear. You never know what the future holds in store, but need to make the most of what you have now, each day.

As for my recovery, I am naturally such a high energy person that resting for two weeks was trying, but I knew was necessary for healing. I used my arms minimally for the first two weeks. I first noticed the impact on my pecs trying to grate parmesan cheese the first week. I couldn't do it. I couldn't open jars. I couldn't use a whisk, because the feeling in my pecs creeped me out. When I told my PS at my 4 wk follow up about not liking the feeling of dynamic pec contractions and that I found them cringe-worthy, she said I just had to work through it. So that's what I did.

I am the fittest recon patient my PS has ever had. She told me I would bounce back quickly and advised that exercise would help me heal faster, so she supported as much exercise as I wanted, subject to her restrictions for that particular period of time in the recovery process. No arms above 90°. No vigorous exercise for the first two weeks. I walked the halls the night of surgery and did leg lunges. When my PS & BS made rounds together the next day I was doing yoga leg exercises in the air and lower ab work. They just laughed. The first day home I slept. Every day after I walked. I did stretching and modified yoga within the limits of my restrictions and my abilities and tolerance at that time. I did stairs. At week 3 my PS gave the ok for lower body, so I started cycling and did leg machine workouts. At week 4, all my restrictions were lifted with the exception of not lying on my stomach until week 12 and no waterskiing this summer. I started running (needed to wait to week 4 to wear a sports bra), swimming, tennis, returned to my hot yoga studio, pushups, weights, kayaking, soccer, you name it. For most, I was able to perform at my pre-sx levels. At week 4 isometric pec exercises (e.g. plank and holding it for several minutes) were no problem; however dynamic pec exercises were a different story. My challenge was in becoming accustomed to the kinesthetic changes in having my pecs reattached at a higher point. I couldn't do a pushup the first time I tried - I had to start on my knees. I couldn't do a real pushup until week 5. Today I can only do 25; pre-sx I could do 150 without stopping. I am up to 5 with pushup stands (allow you to go deeper with added height). I used to be the pushup queen; I'm not sure I will be able to reach the same levels. Time will tell. I am motivated and will give it my best shot, but am ok if I can't. Swim strokes were all good at 5 weeks, with the exception of butterfly. My arms don't fully lift after the initiation of the stroke. I think in another 2 weeks I will nail fly. I also can't use an ab wheel with a full extension yet, but I'm working on it. The limitation is at the lower edge of the Alloderm slings where they were sutured to my upper abs. One of my favourite ab exercises is stir the pot on a stability ball. I couldn't do it until week 5. When I do it, my implants move like people doing the wave at a sports stadium. Something I didn't like in my pre-sx research was seeing extensive dynamic pec distortion on youtube videos and PS websites. I found it freaky. My right side is my dominant side and has virtually none, which both surprises and pleases me. My left breast has a little bit, so I will strengthen that side with light weights to eliminate the need for compensation and hopefully get rid of the distortion. I will also talk to my PT about it when I see her in a couple of weeks.

Pain-wise, I have lucked out. Did my physical condition play a role? I would imagine it helped, but really don't know. I know my condition helped my flaps heal. My PS had been worried that I might get necrosis because they were so thin. I had no nipple or skin necrosis and my nipples looked healthy from day 1. After the first week, I consider that I have had no pain: no iron bra whatsoever (which I attribute to my 6 weeks of pre-op dedicated pec development), no twinges, no nerve zaps. My PS said nerve regeneration sometimes feels like a burn, but I haven't experienced that so far. I did experience discomfort with stretching as I regained ROM and also pushing past the creep out factor of dynamic pec contractions.

I am very happy with my results. Two weeks prior to sx, I went to see my PS again, to fully clarify my expectations. I didn't want any surprises or disappointment. I look just like she said I would. I haven't had, nor will I experience any 'drop and fluff', according to my PS. Not sure if this is due to precise pocket work, size (weight) of implants (since mine are smaller than most of yours), or a combo of these factors, since I didn't ask her why. She told me that it takes up to a year for nerves to regenerate and that she has only had 2 patients who regained nipple sensation. I derived a lot of sexual pleasure from my breasts and nipples, so I tasked my DH with discovering new erogenous zones. I do not resent or feel bitter about losing sensation. I made my decision of NSBMX knowing full well that I would lose sensation. My expectation is that I will have none and if I develop any over the course of the next year it will be a bonus. I can't change the past. I have got rid of all my bras, as I go braless all the time now, except for sports bras for high impact activities. Now that it's summer I will be wearing a lot of yoga tops and tennis outfits. They are all stretchy, so no issues with fit. I donated some clothing that was too fitted in the bust and is now too small, so had to go shopping!

I wish you strength to get through your respective tx, whatever they may be. Be gentle with yourselves when you are fragile and don't demand too much of yourselves when tx has made it impossible. I wish you lives full of peace, beauty, love and light. Be the best that you can be. Challenge yourself. Take up a new hobby, learn another language or perhaps a craft, read some good books, volunteer somewhere - anything that interests you. Try and squeeze some exercise into your day. Namaste.

New dress #1 I bought for myself. It's dark navy. The camera strap is black, which I didn't realize had fallen in front.

I bought this dress for DH, because he's an ass man at heart.

Here's what my implants look like at 7 weeks. My camera is heavy, so the side holding it is lifted a tad. They really are perfect mirror images. The dark circle at my neck is the shadow from the lens.

Thank you, Audrey and mjh1! Audrey, I hope I can inspire you to incorporate fitness/exercise into your life and stay committed. You are such a beautiful person. mjh1, so true. The sisterhood is one of compassionate camaraderie. I am rooting for you big time that your August revision sx delivers on giving you the results you want.

Sisters, ask yourselves what makes you come alive. And then go do that. Be your most passionate self and live a fulfilling life.

Have a great day, everyone!

Excellent, Audrey...and very impressive! That's the attitude. Don't let BC take away your power and stop you from doing what you want.

Sisters, if you have access to a pool, even gentle movements standing and walking in water can be very therapeutic, if are weakened from treatment. The resistance can help build your strength.

Mary, just to further clarify, the reason why I say I don't believe they can confidently stage the cancer without knowing the total number of nodes removed is that they need to know that the sample size of removed nodes is sufficiently large enough to have confidence that the two positive nodes are the extent of the nodal involvement.

MaryAgatha, great news about your job. I am sorry that you are unhappy with your implants. You ask why should you care and the fact that you don't like them is all the reason to care. I think if you still unhappy with them after a few months, you should consider a revision. I never requested access to the picture forum, but if you haven't done so already, you may wish to. You will be able to see what kind of results women get with different implants and FG and what is possible for body types similar to yours. I do think if a woman wants recon to deliver natural looking and feeling breasts that perforator flaps are the best option, if she is a candidate and willing to undergo the surgery. Get the breasts you want.

lovevt, that's a great attitude not getting discouraged and being able to laugh at yourself. It's all about resilience. I didn't ask out of how many, but I know from research that it's a very small percentage who regain sensation. I don't see my PS again until Aug, so will try to remember to ask.