so lost, need help with my new diagnosis

Dear Tiffany,

I'm so sorry that you are here and diagnosed with breast cancer. It's not fair--and it's really not fair at your age. The best advice I can give you right now is to be kind to yourself. You don't have to have all the questions ready. Sometimes, we think we have one shot at everything and have to be ready like a soldier armed for battle, with every conceivable weapon hanging off our belt.

Let the surgeon goes through her/his spiel of what to expect. I would suggest you take someone else with you to the appointment to take notes (or a tape recorder). You can see the surgeon more than once to get your questions answered.

And we're all here too.

Before you decide/do any TX, see a Reproduction Specialist. Eggs can be 'harvested' for future use. I don't know any of what is involved in the process as I was 19 yrs post menopause when DXd. There have been some young women who have come here that have though so hopefully they will check in with you.

Don't just see the Surgeon but also Medical Oncologist (chemo) and Radiology Oncologist (rads) so have an idea of what your entire TX plan will be - Surgeon does not determine the entire TX plan - they do surgery.

Take your Smart Phone with you and record what all Drs tell you so you can review exactly what you were told - not reading the quickly written notes you, or someone else, tried to write down correctly. Write down all the questions you have and make a second copy to hand to the Dr so he/she knows what you want addressed in addition to what he/she is already planning on discussing. If you do not understand his/her words - tell them to explain so you can understand, even if it takes several times. You have to be your own best advocate.

My belief - God does listen to us and cares about each of his children. We have to listen to Him. We are each unique and all have struggles on this journey through life to return to Heavenly Father. Our 'struggles' are for us to grow and learn from.

Added: You might want to come to the 'Prayers and Spiritual Inspiration' forum. (Just scroll down.)

Tiffany, you came to the right place for support. A BC DX can be very over-whelming. You will probably be doing a few more tests, but once you start your treatment plan, you will start feeling more in control and less lost. I hate that you are having to deal with this at such a young age. If you have a support network, of friends or family, just to have someone to go to appts with, that may help. Know that you aren't alone in this, even though it is a very lonely place to be. . The American Cancer Society has many resources that may be useful, from support groups, to rides, etc. Best wishes as you move forward. Try to take one day at a time...

Sending you hugs. There are ladies here that will come in and help you as much as possible . Cry, cry cry if that is what you need to do. Post whatever comes to your mind here. Ask whatever questions that pop up. These ladies are a great source of information and comfort. Everyone is here for you.

tshire, its a good thing you found us! I know everyone has said it, but it does get easier, once you have a plan in place. Cry as much as you need to, then draw your sword and FIGHT, girl, you can do this. Try to look at it this way. You were dying, but luckily enough you went to the Dr and didn't live in denial, and so now you are not. Now you are fighting and planning to LIVE. My advice is, you are going to break down. Plan for it. Set everything up during moments of mental clarity, so that when you are losing it, you still just have to move forward. If you trust your breast surgeon, no need to get a second opinion. Its completely up to you. I did not get a second opinion, because I completely trusted my surgeon and his reputation. Find out if your treatment center has a nurse navigator or a social worker who can help be there for you at appointments. These people are there to help guide you through this scary time. Find an Oncologist, or get referred by your surgeon or nurse navigator. Again, if you trust your Oncologist, no need for a second opinion. I did not get a second opinion, because my MO by the grace of God is one of the best in the nation. Find a therapist for you and your loved ones. The American Cancer Society has therapists on staff who will counsel you over the phone. This is a terrifying time, but you are young and healthy and you can fight this and win! you got this, girl.

Tiffany,

I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I know how scared you are.. A few words of advice:

1. Don't spend too much time googling stuff. It will just feed your fears. If you are anything like me, you'll hyper-focus on the negative. This is a good place to read about your diagnosis, and get support. Do you have your biopsy report?

2. Get ready for your appointments. Get a list of questions together. Like others have mentioned, you should see a breast surgeon and a medical oncologist. Where do you live? Are you near a comprehensive cancer center? Research where you can get the absolute best medical care in your area. If you aren't sure, try asking here.

When I was diagnosed, I called the comprehensive cancer center affiliated with a medical school here for a second opinion. I was seen in a matter of days and they made back-to-back appointments for me. I left with a port placement surgery date, and chemo treatment plan. I knew that was the right place for me.

3. Bring someone with you to the initial appointments. There will be a lot of information to remember. I became overwhelmed, and was grateful my husband was with me.

4. When I was first diagnosed, I could not sleep and eventually started having panic attacks. My MO gave me a prescription for Xanax. It helped me calm down and sleep.

I assume you found the lump yourself? So many young women don't do SBE or will ignore a lump. You felt something was wrong, you saw a doctor. Way to go! Stage I and clear lymph nodes are both good news. Hang on to that. Sending you a virtual hug. Send me a PM if you need to talk.

I just wanted to offer my support and tell you that you CAN get through this! It's overwhelming and so scary at first but I promise it will get better once the puzzle pieces fall into place. Don't Google and stay here if you want good, reliable information. Stay strong and keep your faith and you are going to get through this one day at a time. ((Hugs))

I'm so sorry that you're going through this but I'm glad you've found this website. Please pick up your Xanax and try to get some kind of calm going before you make any decisions. I'm not saying what you think you've chosen is wrong in any way, I'm just saying I think you need more information and you need to speak with your doctors. Having a double mastectomy does not guarantee that you won't need radiation.

So sorry you are facing this at a time in your life when you should be focused on a happy future, not worrying about cancer.  You mentioned wanting to have a family and I wanted to link this site - take a look.  You may not need this but I wanted you to be aware of it in case it is something you are interested in.  Wishing you the best.

http://haveababy.com/infertility-treatments/fertility-preservation/fertility-rescue

Tshire, you don't have to make a decision right now. You can wait and see the doctor for the results, and see what his plan of action is. Then, if you want to, you can have the doc send the results to MD Anderson for your second opinion. Then , hopefully they will agree. but in any case, you will get more info, and then decide. Your first doc can follow MDAndersons if it is different from his, and if it is what you want.

I wanted to tell you, the radiation we get nowadays is so much less, it is much more focused and gentle, and the chances of lasting damage are much much smaller than they used to be.

With grade 1, you may also be able to avoid chemo.

You ARE WORTH IT, HE loves you, and like my lemon-tree sage neighbor told me when I was worried that it would split me and my man of 15 years up, he told me: if you leave before you see how you guys handle it, you are denying both of you the chance to grow spiritually. Wow. And you know? He was right. I had my doubts once in a while about his love for me, (habit?) (convenience?), but. I am absolutely sure of my man's love for me now, even though it got messy and ugly a few times... I love how it has changed us in that way. We are really truly partners, sure of ourselves, and of each other.. So maybe God does have a plan for you too. I would wait for now and let things infold as they may.

Oh, I know maybe I shouldn't say this but PLEASE do not go right for a mastectomy. Your tumor is small. I know it was heartbreaking to lose your grandma but things have changed a LOT since the 70's. Don't even think about making a decision before talking to a doctor and see more than one, PLEASE.

I think you are going to be fine. Please post your receptor status when you get it so we can help you more. AFter you see the BS, you can talk to a doctor who can help you weight your options about eggs and reproduction.

Do not make hasty decisions that you will regret.

I understand your fears but you have a VERY small, low grade tumor.

Hi Tshire,

Hope you are feeling better today! I am 29 and I too was just diagnosed on Friday of last week. I'm trying to organize myself and get on board with the double masectomy they want to perform ASAP. I am BRAC 1 positive with a grade 3 tumor that is poorly differentiated with er - and her2 - and pr positive but very weak. In the past two weeks waiting for my results I have googled so much shitty stuff that only heightened my anxiety and have come to find in the doctor appointments I had this week that most of it isn't true! I don't have much advice because I am new to this as well, but talking with friends/family, taking deep breaths and getting more information from qualified sources can only help. Wish you the best of luck and feel free to message me.

Since I am new to this, does anyone have any advice or words on getting the bilateral masectomy so fast after diagnoses. After sifting through this site I see that many women receive this surgery immediate after diagnoses. I think I know in my gut it's the right thing to do with my risk factors as BRAC 1 and being 29 and already developing breast cancer. But it is also an irreversible decision I have to make in a short amount of time. Only one of the three doctors I saw said I could go with lumpectomy/radiation/chemo approach and it would only be reasonable but not recommended. Any words are appreciated! Thanks!

Please Please Please don't take this the wrong way but since you mentioned that you've been a "hypochondriac" for a few years and that was due to a friend's cancer, I would suggest that not only do you need to see someone for your current situation but quite possibly some counseling would help as well.

Make sure that your doctor knows all your emotional issues as well as your physical ailments. It's very important, especially at a time like this.

Best wishes to you!