Stupid comments ....

Mel- LOL!

Sounds like something my idiot SIL would say.

When my hair first feel out I heard a woman standing in line behind me very loudly telling her husband how sorry she felt for me because I was dying so young. Who the hell said I was going to die?

I was in line buying dinner when and man asked me what kind I have. I said what. He said, you have cancer right? I annoyingly said yes. He then proceeds to tell me how his wife has stage 4 cancer and begins to cry. Ugh, everyone around us was staring at us in horror. I just told him I was sorry for him andleft. I couldn't take that.

I get this a lot: "cancer doesn't have you, you have cancer".

One guy never said anything he just came close and looked at me with his jaw wide open.

I think the worst is what people never said to me. The people who always spoke about family and then never reached out to me. That hurt the most.

I tend to walk away from the cancer death stories, it is rude but I need positive energy. I worry enough as it is. My life and everything I would miss flashed in front of my eyes when the radiologist told me.

Well I'm back. First thank you for all the support and especially the garden (hugs to Beach Bum) and a huge {{{{{HUG}}}}} for all your kind words and for all the unkind words we've endured. Reading 5 pages to catch up made me laugh, weep, and way pissed off. My BCO sisters are my heroes.

After my mets scare, I had to stop dealing with cancer so I ran off to music concerts. And am still adding concerts...especially when a woman I have seen daily for over 20 years managed to blurt this out: "What do mean you're not through with cancer? You've been being treated for over a year! Why do you keep going to see the doctor? You need to just let it go."

What I said: "Um, cancer is a chronic condition."

What I wanted to say: listen, you jackass, I'm dealing with truncal lymphedema, some cording, a MX scar that has adhesion problems, a royally screwed up shoulder blade so I'm constantly in spasm, peripheral neuropathy, cognitive issues like no freaking short term memory, and, oh yeah, my lack of side effects to my AI may indicate that I'm at a 60% higher risk for recurrence. Let it go, my ass.

Thinking I'm glad to be back,

bride

Bride-welcome back. I am glad to hear you are enjoying music and concerts. I love both myself. Anybody great you saw? Big time performances, or local artists, or maybe a bit of both? Music soothes the soul like nothing else.

That person you ran into is just purely rude. I hope if you ever see her again, you can either avoid talking to her or say a hello and keep walking. I don't feel a need to be nice/polite to people anymore who are awful to me. These are the types of people I refuse to engage with any conversation with respect to my health.

I remember when I was going through a family loss of a sibling who died young, I used to get the "you have had a year to grieve, time to move on." I have had similar comments about being "done" with everything after my primary treatment, and given that same year schedule. No I am not done with my 5 years of follow up, or my 5 on the AI drugs, or the side effects from those, or the Prolia shots to keep my bones from crapping out while I get through the AI treatment. Most people have no idea. Too many people want to just control the situation. Bye bye now!

Keep doing those concerts Bride! Enjoy your summer.

bride, all I can say is Wow! And commend you for your polite response. I guess we give polite responses when we are so gob smacked at the complete stupidity AND insensitivity of some comments and questions. Maybe we should exercise our middle finger salute more. No real need to have a canned response, but that finger can say a thousand words.

MsP

I was walking quickly to a patient room last week and passed by the aide and the person that she was orienting while they were doing laps (wonderful idea wish I had thought of it instead of actually doing my job *sarcasm intended*) and I was told that I "couldn't join their club because I don't have the right equipment." No, I don't have $150 extra that I don't know what to do with to buy a fitbit as I have surgery coming up. My response was "oh darn" as I passed by them to do my job.

I was picking up my 7 yr old granddaughter from after school daycare yesterday. Teacher asked for my ID, which is required since I didn't know her and she didn't know me. She says "you look different with the hat on, hard to recognize." I didn't say anything BUT granddaughter says "Gramma has chemo so she doesn't have hair but it will come back when the cancer is gone, that is why she has a hat". My granddaughter is not known for her filter....but you should have seen the look on the teachers face...it was priceless. AND granddaughter got to make cookies with Gramma. Stupid grown ups:

tjh, just want to hug that granddaughter of yours....and give her a big cookie too. Love the mind of children

MsP

Had lunch with former co workers. Hadn't seen one for several years, she knew I had ca.

Her So how ya doin with the cancer? Is it gone?

Me ok for today. It can come back any place, any time.

Her. Stunned look, jaw hanging. No further comment.

Priceless.

Ok, since this is about the dumbest stuff people have said to you....I guess this is a good place to be. Here's my Saturday story. A friend moved away from where I live, a few years back. Well this morning she's back visiting for the weekend, She showed up at the place we go every morning for coffee. She'd also been following my post about my bc on Facebook. She gets me in a bearhug asks me how my health is, and then tells me about her friend, who had a lumpectomy and a year later was back, and then she had a mastectomy and a year later was back, and then two years later she was dead! Good morning to you too!! She is such a f*****g Asshat! Who says that kind of shit?????

Oh and there was the friend who asked me if I'd leave her my Max Mara coat in my will..WTF! That was the day before I started chemo.

Spookiesmom,

No kidding! A friend who had had BC was telling me she was at a dinner party, someone asked how she was and another woman there said "Well, I'm glad I don't sit on my anger!" And the stupid just keeps comin

Scarlett,

Ha! I treated myself to some big old pearl earrings when I finished Taxol, perhaps when she sees them she'll ask for them too, they go great with the coat

Beachbum,

I love it!!! Retail therapy trumps chemotherapy any old day