April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

KBee, Yes, I'm up for Taxol #1 on Tuesday.

Sorry your son broke his foot. My son broke his wrist a year ago like 2 weeks before his show (he's a drummer), and well, we dealt with it. Kids are so resilient! His cast was off in a month!

Sex, something I've touched on before......we haven't had sex once since I've started chemo. But, it's ok. He feels too weird and so do I, that it just hasn't come up, so to speak. We hold hands in bed and hug a lot, and peck each other, but chemo has sort of spoiled the mood for romance, ya know.

Spent all day outdoors for my daughter's picnic, and I'm pooped. Long day.

Whew! Chemo #4 and the major se's in my rearviewmirror . Had nausea, major diarrhea, and my worst fatigue yet. Got exhausted and out of breath going from one room to another! Feeling stronger today the D is gone and my appetite is slowly returning. As far as weight gain, mine has fluctuated down and back up every cycle by about 6-7 lbs... I got my second mugs scan today, will probably have results back tomorrow. Would like to k ow before Friday surgery. I don't and never did the towel wrap, but I have to say, I can't pass a mirror w/o looking at my bald head and feeling the velvet fuzz😉 A couple nights ago I dreamed that I had grown a nice thick cap of hair back and was so happy that I could start wearing ball caps and have a showing hairline. So sad to wake up and find myself still bald😭 Sex??? Did someone say sex??? Well actually, I've had it once and even though I used lube it was quite painful and the irritation lasted through part of the next day. As some of you have already said, there was no desire on my part and certainly no pleasure since it hurt. My husband is very understanding and is just biding his time until "normalcy" returns...

Happy Birthday Lynne and belated Happy Birthday to you Fran!

Kbeee! So sorry to read about your son breaking the bones in his foot. And right at the beginning of summer too!

Oh no Kbeee! Hope he gets a walking cast!

any of you brca+ ladies members of the BRCA Sisterhood groups on Facebook? I am and it's an excellent group to be a member of. I highly recommend.

Allicat - gosh, I love the short styled wig on you! And you have the prettiest eyes/smile - who needs hair with eyes/a smile like that?

Last dose dense A/C ended about 2 hours ago - then out to lunch to handle my raging hunger.  YAHOO!!  I think I'm bringing up the last of the A/C ladies. Blood levels, including WBCs, RBCs and platelets all rebounded well into the normal range (first time since A/C1 - for both round 2 and 3 I had chemo with below normal WBCs).  The doctor reduced this last A/C dose by a percentage to hopefully give me fewer side effects and help me move into Taxol in a better blood position.  Also prescribed MuGard for mouth sores and since it's expensive they gave me a bottle to try before I get it filled. 

I'm feeling pretty positive right now, and when Day 3 rolls around and I start feeing l like crap, hopefully it will be for the last time with this particular set of SEs.

I hope everyone handling their last A/C round this week is doing well.  Now on to Taxol.

Hey, Princess, I contemplate how many I can take before I quit every single session.  I think we all do; but generally we keep turning up as long as we aren't experiencing such severe SEs that doctors require us to quit.  I just finished A/C today and I'm already doing the mental "Are 4 taxols really any better than 3...maybe I can stop after 3".   

Theprincess I have severe anxiety just thinking about stating taxol on Tuesday- eeekkkkk

Littleblueflowers I sweat between my playdoh looking boobs- yes that's the way I describe them to people. Two blobs of flesh colored playdoh slapped onto my chest- uneven and all that fun stuff. They are so gross looking. When I raise my arms I can see ripples in the expanders and feel them also. And alien is an awesome way to describe how I feel. Here's to hoping that my mother ship doesn't call me home for many many years or any of us for that matter

Is anyone taking L-Glutemine? How are you getting it down? I want to start tomorrow in advance of first Taxol.

Lovlilynne, I tried it once and it was hard. Still looking for ideas myself. For me, it was like drinking a glass of chalk. Not looking forward to trying to drink it regularly.

Addie, the mothership doesn't want us back...if they did, we'd be dead now rather than suffering through all this treatment! Its just sucky to have to fake everything every damn day...hair, eyebrows, lashes, energy, boobs...for a while it was fun playing spy, but yeesshhh...i've never worn this much makeup just to look human in my whole life!

Ankledolphin, I haven't experienced pains in my arms, but I do get weird collapsing feelings in my thighs when I try to jog...kind of like the muscle can't complete the movement into the next step, if that makes sense. Gawwwwwwwd I hope its not the tree man getting us!

My MO is not letting me take L-Glutamine, but he is all about B vitamins...weird...

I have no focus at work today..can you tell??

For the L-glutamine My MO said 10g 3x a day for 3 days. Heather, I had seen that you tried it and couldn't get it down. I Googled it, and read you are not supposed to have anything too acidic with it. I think I will try ice tea.

Random stuff:

Things I never thought I would say: (getting in car to go to work) "Oops, I forgot my hair."

My co-worker, who lost her mother to stage 4 BC, and her husband to brain cancer, "You look great! You are my hero! Have you lost weight?" I think she is comparing me to her mother and DH - and fortunately I do not look as sick as they.

Had lunch with my ex-work spouse. I wanted to tell him what was going on before I went out on LOA. He asks if I have heard how "they" have figured out how to use your immune system against cancer cells, have I looked into that? My first "alternative treatment comment".

Adds to the playlist:

"Since I Held You" by the Cars - an ode to our sex lives ("It's been such a long time . . .")

"Freewill" by Rush

There are those who think that life has nothing left to chance
A host of holy horrors to direct our aimless dance

A planet of play things
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive
'The stars aren't aligned
Or the gods are malign...'
Blame is better to give than receive

You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill

There are those who think
That they were dealt a losing hand
The cards were stacked against them
They weren't born in Lotusland

All preordained
A prisoner in chains
A victim of venomous fate
Kicked in the face
You can't pray for a place
In heaven's unearthly estate

You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill

Each of us
A cell of awareness
Imperfect and incomplete
Genetic blends
With uncertain ends
On a fortune hunt that's far too fleet

I use to mix it in fruit juice and hardly noticed the taste. One thing I noticed near the end of my tub was that it was imported from Japan- I took it 2 years ago, right after the tsunami (radiation contamination) and wondered how safe a product it was.

I'm sorry I havnt been posting but I read. Getting wiped from chemo but I'm now half way through!

KBee I'm sorry about your sons foot, hopefully it isn't as bad as feared.

Allicat your short wig looks absolutely fabulous! I want that style!

I'm sorry for everyone suffering SE, it will be worth it though, keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel!

Thoughts and hugs to all!

#6: I am grateful to be able to tolerate wearing a tank top that felt too irritating to stand a few weeks ago.