Husbands of Stage IV Breast Cancer

This afternoon the oncologist came to see us. They now know that the issue with my wife's lungs is cancer and it's getting worse. We have been told to prepare for the end of her life. I've spoken to our children and all her family. We are hoping to be able to get her home for most of the day on Saturday so she can have that time.

M

MfromAus - How sad - I'm so sorry.  Also sending you wishes of peace to you all.  And adding pain free and comfort wishes to your beloved wife.

Linda

My wife, Julie is now an angel

Oh MfromAus my heart is breaking for you and your family. So sorry for your loss

My deepest sympathy to you and all who loved Julie - thankfully she is now at peace. Sandy

mfromaus I am so sorry for your loss. Sending peace and comfort to you and your children. I hate cancer

Maybe it's a blessing that the end came quickly. But I would give anything for one more hug, one more kiss. Both the boys and I held her hand and told her how much we loved her right to the end.

Wonderful you were all with her. So sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry too.  I don't know what else to say except that we have been praying for your family so you all can find peace.

jakoehn, you were a young man and your wife a young woman when she passed away. That has to be so rough My husband and I have the advantage of having weathered many storms before mbc as we are in our 50s and married over 20 years. Try not to be hard on how you dealt with your wife's illness. You'd did the best you could at the time. You have moved forward with your life and the time spent with her has made you more compassionate and more insightful. We can't go back, we can only try to do better in the here and now.

I sometimes try to put myself in my husband's shoes and think about what he's dealing with emotionally. I try to cut him slack when he gets mad about things, knowing there are underlying reasons for it. Yes, I think husbands often take a backseat to mbc. It is unfortunately one of those double standards where women are allowed to be emotional but the men are supposed to be stoic and strong. I have read some of your blog and hope that writing is one way of helping you sort things out. Reaching out to others on this forum is also a good thing. Wishing you all the best.

MfromAus,  Sorry about your Dear Julie. My Dear Greg and I were diagnosed three months apart. Me BC, him Lymphoma. I'm here, he's gone. The pain takes along time to leave.The memories and love never leave. I did learn to understand the old concept of the Victorian year of mourning. It's real. Give yourself time. Have faith that you can heal. In that time, no one said those words to me. It would have been maybe better, if I had heard that from someone that had been through it the way we have. Take time to sleep long, over the next couple/ three  weeks. My Greg is always with me. Your Julie is too.

because of BC we become well read in treatments and possibilities experts in what is and what can happen

I am sorry for your loss , people ask me how are you doing? I dont want to talk about me I want to talk about

how my wife lights up the room , how she not only makes me a better person , but has made me want to be a better person

she is not perfect, but she is mine. To those that still fight the fight god bless you and your husbands

and to those who have lost I am profoundly Sorry

Today we said our farewells to Julie. The weather was beautiful and the church was full. It was so hard to read the eulogy, but she was there with me and gave me the strength to make it through.

I too followed her/your journey. I am so sorry. She was way too young. Having gone through several grieving periods I can tell you time helps. Of course she will always be with you and the boys need you more than ever now. They will be leaning on you for strength. God will give you that strength to keep going.

Diane

Hi all, today I'm really struggling. 

Over the weekend I had to remove all the flowers that were in our house that had died, I re-read some of the sympathy cards still mixed with the get well cards, listened to some of our favorite music and cleaned the house 3 times. 

Today is the first day where I'm not sure if I will cope, I'm on the edge of tears all the time and I'm terrified that I could fall apart at any moment.  

Although the intimacy was taken from our relationship quite a while ago, we still hugged & held hands and I miss that closeness more than I can admit.  Our children give me hugs but it's not the same, I feel so lonely.

M