Anybody else diagnosed within 3 months of starting a new job?

Mom2ABoy · January 2015

I'm just wondering if anyone else has faced this and how you handled it. I love my job and I'm having a hard time confronting the fact that I have to tell them about this, since I'm a new hire and technically within my probation period. I work virtually, so I don't have to deal with trying to get to an office every day, but there is a fair bit of travel expected (back and forth to the office in another city and to conferences and the like).

I have a good idea of what they expect out of me in terms of travel & workload over the next few months, so if I had been here longer, I think I would have told them right away. As far as I know I only have DCIS, so at this point the treatment plan is lumpectomy & radiation, but I want them to be able to plan around my possible absence during/after surgery, so I'm inclined to tell them now, even though there are some uncertainties there. But I also don't want them to be so afraid of my being gone that they panic and decide to replace me. (Clearly part of the issue is that we don't know each other that well just yet!)

Do you think I should wait until I have definite surgery dates, etc., so I can know what the possible timeconflicts might be? Or tell them right away, and just let them know that I am willing to plan my treatment around their needs?

Thanks for advice/experiences. If it helps to know, I am non-union and working in a higher ed setting.

tangandchris · January 2015

I had a very similar experience as you

I started a new job in July 2013 and was dx'd in October 2013. I am also a remote/virtual employee and the agreement was that I'd travel to MO once a month for meetings. I couldn't believe that I had BC, and to make matters more complicated I had just been hired!

I've been lucky in that my co-workers have been very supportive of me and my employer has been awesome. I told my manager as soon as I knew what was happening. Partially because I was in shock, but also because I needed her guidance on contacting HR.

I think if you feel comfortable you may want to speak with your manager and be upfront. However, if you aren't comfortable then reach out to your HR department. They should be able to give you direction on taking time off for surgery and tx's. I know it is scary and I don't know the legality of an employer replacing someone in our situation....but I don't think they can do so legally.

Anonymous · January 2015

Lots can depend on the manager's view of BC. I wasn't a new employee when dx but was trying to get approval to take a course for my job and it was denied because my manager wrote me off... Ha, to his amazement I only took one week off for surgery (lumpectomy) which was by my choice as I could easily have gone to work at least within 48 hours, it was that easy. I also went to work everyday, a 45 min drive, throughout the 6-1/2 weeks of radiation.

All this is to say, you may have little to worry about as a virtual employee and aside from the time around surgery and the radiation may not have to miss any travel requirements. You may be able to do the shorter radiation treatment, discuss with your RO. The rads will make you tired so travel during that time is something I could not have done but I went to work and did rads at the end of day, went home and slept.

Can you browse through an employee/administration manual which should give you a heads up about expectations for disability absences? I had my docs sign off for me to take intermittent leave if necessary (it wasn't) so that may also be an option. It is rough when you don't know what to expect from a new employer but you should be protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Good luck.

Mom2ABoy · January 2015

Awesome answer! And very encouraging. Thank you. I think I am going to wait until I know more specifics (for instance if it ends up that the surgeon I choose in the end recommends a mastectomy instead based on the grade of the DCIS and my recovery time will be longer).

proudtospin · January 2015

Mom, I think you got some good info and as someone who did 3 lumpies, only took a day off for each and worked throughout my rads....then napped!

if lumpie is what you have, it will be very doable, best of luck and now you know where to get some real info, keep in touch if you can

Anonymous · January 2015

Agree proud; I was being conservative as I also could have gone back to work day after the lumpie.

Mom2ABoy · June 2015

Hi proud & patoo!

How are you both doing?

I thought I'd catch up with this discussion since I've been absent for a while. It's kind of a strange story. I had planned to tell my workmates when I went to the offices for a meeting in February. By sheer coincidence, while I was working in the offices I learned that someone they all knew very well had just died of cancer, and everyone was understandably very sad. So - that seemed like a bad environment for dropping my bombshell, especially since my case was seemingly so minor ("just DCIS" or so I thought at the time) and I was still unclear about the treatment plan.

But I go out there pretty frequently, so I talked to my supervisor on the next visit. Then followed up by letting other folks know about upcoming absences, and let them "talk amongst themselves" and put two and two together, rather than making a big announcement to everyone. And you're right, the Lx was not that bad! I was sitting up in bed working some by the next day, but since I'd already put in for the sick time, I decided to do a lot of sleeping -- and I'm glad I did.

To my relief, when I told my supervisor, all she was concerned about was that I file for FMLA when I go in for the double Mx (another thing I didn't know about when I wrote this post back in January). In retrospect, actually, I'm kind of glad that I knew about it, by the time I visited again, because it allowed me to give them the full picture instead of just saying I was going to be out for a couple of days for Lx.

The double Mx is because I found out that I'm positive for the BRCA1 mutation, plus in the Lx biopsy they found a tiny spot of IDC, which was completely unsuspected before, even after much, much imaging, so I had to go back this week for a sentinel lymph node dissection. The surgeon said the lymph node looked totally normal to him, but it's still going to be analyzed by pathologists to see if any of the little buggers managed to escape the breast and end up hanging out in the lymph.

Now I have to make some decisions about reconstruction and all that, and see my gyno about having my ovaries checked out. They've been looked at a lot over the years so there are baseline images, which is good. This is sure turning out to be an "eventful" year.

MKS1956 · June 2015

I got my cancer diagnosis on the second day of a new job. I also was 'just DCIS' but in 3 lumpectomy surgeries 3 different IDC tumors were found. So I am also considering mastectomy at this point.

proudtospin · June 2015

well hello mm, you sound like you have gotten some good advise and have made your choices, You will be able to move on, you really well

me doing pretty good, got a bad back but all is good with no cancer and NED for me

Mom2ABoy · June 2015

@MKS, I don't blame you for considering mastectomy at this point. I decided I would rather have prosthetics or immediate reconstruction, even if it meant taking extra time off work, than to worry for the rest of my life about this coming back. (Having seen friends with DCIS have to go back to have treatments over and over again, I just don't want that for myself or my family.)

@Proud, so happy to hear you're dancing with NED! I love hearing that kind of story. It gives me hope.

edwards750 · June 2015

It wasn't 3 months but 8 months but still anxious about telling them. Fortunately the new manager was a woman and her mother was just DX. Decided not to return to the job because it was extremely stressful and quite a hike from home. Elected to collect early retirement instead. Glad I did. So much going on at home.

I would like to think most employers would understand and be supportive but sadly some are not and shame on them. One lady who posted on this website worked for a small company and they pretty much eased her out. Despicable. A lot of people cannot afford to take the FMLA. I couldn't have. Luckily we have good health insurance and it paid the brunt of our medical bills.

All you can do is be upfront.

Diane

Mom2ABoy · June 2015

Thanks Diane. I talked with my supervisor a couple of months ago and she was very supportive. My office is 99% women, including upper management, so maybe that helps. As for FMLA, we cannot afford it in any way. I'm hoping I don't have to take advantage of it, since I work at home and pretty much just need a lap-desk and a phone, so I can sit up and work as soon as I'm able and have the energy to. We shall see!

juneping · July 2015

i started my new job right after labor day in 2013 and was dx in early november, less than three months.

i told my manager who was shocked and didn't know how to react. but he told me to tell our boss and i did. the boss was being very supportive and kind. did my surgery and use the x'mas time to recover. went back to work but couldn't handle the work load physically and mentally so i took a leave for about 3 months. it's C so people by default try to be understanding....

personally i think you really need to be a d*ck to say something like "finish your task before you d*e"....

Mom2ABoy · August 2015

Juneping, you are right! Fortunately my boss and coworkers have been extremely kind and supportive so far. Some of them have even had BC so we got to trade war stories a bit the last time I worked with folks in person. I can't imagine a work environment that would be better for me right now. I feel very lucky indeed.

Anybody else diagnosed within 3 months of starting a new job?

Comments

Categories