Starting Chemo February 2015

Hurray Darumama! Soon we'll all have finished. Sorry about the soreness live-deliciously.

Yeah, L-D, i hear you, this was already a second time around for me, so there has definitely been an element of "what did do wrong... again?" and I imagine other people are thinking the same thing (about me). Then I start realising that it's completely CRAZY to start trying to find reasons for this. There are just too many reasons why one of us, and not the other, gets cancer. Food, environment (which includes pollution, cleaning products, paint on the wall... everything!), just breathing or even just because we were born with a certain gene. So I'm trying not to go there, not to find reasons or blame, or I could go crazy.

What I'm also finding is a certain lack of self-confidence. I'm not really ready to be social. Have turned down invitations for the last two evenings because I don't feel like going out and "partying", pretending that just because the treatment is over, everything is back to normal. It's not, I don't feel 100% right by any means, I look like shit, and I feel a little bruised and battered, damaged goods. I decided to respect those feelings and explained it to my friends - I think they understood - they were nice about it anyway. But I do feel I will need to work on it a little - I have my son's wedding in a month and want to enjoy that day. I'm sure it will be fine, I just need a little time.

Yay Darumama! One more across the finish line! It's certainly been a long haul -- four months of poison in our systems.

Dromedary -- I know what you mean by feeling like damaged goods. I certainly don't feel like celebrating. I just feel like relaxing and giving my body a chance to recover. I want to go outside and enjoy the sunshine and look at the flowers and listen to the birds. I want to bike and feel the wind in my hair (even though there isn't much of it), I just want to be 'myself' again -- not the person who was too weak to do the things I enjoy. I don't even want to think about the possibility of recurrence -- though it's very real to me. This is my second time too. Surgery and probably radiation are still ahead for me so one step at a time.

Take care of yourselves all!

i read what you all say and can really empathize so much. Im so glad i have this forum to confide my thoughts and feelings. Thank you all for sharing

I will have my 6th and final(yippee!) treatment on 6/23. This one has only been difficult due to extremely low blood counts making it difficult to get about. (Not approved for neulasta by insurance co,). Although not posting often have been keeping up on the progress of others through posts. I hope all will continue to share the journey as she experiences it. There is comfort in numbers.

just got my 5 year pill, MO has put me on anastrapozole? Taken daily and herceptin every 3 weeks. S but SE are neuropathy , hot flashes, constipation, diarrhea , pretty much what I was taken for chemo, hope nothing is serious, we shall see it goes? Feel better gals. Oh had aspiration of my surgery sight for the 3rd time today, still plenty of blood and fluid in the pockets. It could still be an issue again, if the body doesn't want to cooperate... This is getting tiring hope it's the last tome...

Thanks to everyone here who helped me cross the finish line with chemo! The past 5 days have been the usual post treatment ups and down for me in terms of side effects. Feeling pretty achy, sleeplessness, fatigue, etc. But it's been nice to know I'm done with neulasta and I took my last steroid last night. Claritin for another week. Maybe I can start putting away some of the drugs that have been sitting in a caddy on my kitchen counter since February? Time for miracle mouthwash to go live at the back of the medicine cabinet! The oncologist's office takes unused drugs back for patients in need and I have lot of Zofran I never needed once AC ended.

I found myself getting a little annoyed at my mom yesterday, mainly because our conversation brought up some feelings I have about the end of this phase of treatment. When we talked about the end of chemo she was surprised that I wasn't feeling better already. I reminded her that it hasn't even been a week since my last treatment and I usually felt pretty crappy for at least a week after. Oh, but you'll be feeling back to normal in a few more days, she said. I'm not trying to bash mom here- a comment like that is totally to be expected from her (or anyone really). My reaction to her comment in my mind though was like - What the hell!? People think I'm going to bounce back to normal after all this? I'm going to be doing radiation next and then put into to menopause to take arimidex. The thing is, I probably will be feeling better with no chemo soon, but I wished she understood how fundamentally the concept of normal has changed for me both mentally and physically.

Congratulations to you ladies who are finishing up with chemo soon! Jerseygirl- hope your surgical site clears up!

don't rush the comeback cause it don't work like that, my last chemo was May 9 and my plateletsare only at an 11. Still away to go, so it doesn't return as quickly as they like you too. And if you over 55 I think it takes even longer. Go at your pace . I am just getting enough energy to do a big grocery shop in the next few days, but not ready to celebrate as taste buds are gonna take awhile, I am sure, and I might as well enjoy what I eat. Feel better all!

One day after I finished my steroids the headaches and body aches began. The last two days have been pretty awful. Chemo's parting shot at me, I suppose. Drinking my water like crazy to get this stuff out of my system. Today is one week pfc and I still feel like I'm in chemo mode with the SE.

I have my radiation sim on Tuesday and I'm eager to get on with the next phase. MO wants me to do ovarian suppression and arimidex (10 years!) so when I go for my first port flush in July I'm going to get a shot of Lupron and then start the Arimidex. This will be the summer of hot flashes. Hoping I tolerate it well

On a happy note, I've got some stubble coming in on my scalp.

19 days pfc and I'm feeling pretty good while vacationing in Fort Lauderdale. Hard to believe I'll be having a BMX just three weeks from now. I hope I eventually have something visually close to these awesome boobs!

thanks Damselfly. This all seems unreal a lot of times. I hope I'm not shocked into some very different reality right after surgery. I hope I continue to feel good and have such the positive outlook.

I'll have BMX on July 6 and will get tissue expanders with quite a bit of fill as I have existing implants, and therefore a pocket already. I understand I will get more fills over the course of four weeks or so. TEs will be exchanged with implants prior to radiation. There are different thoughts on whether its best to radiate the TEs or the Implants. I met with two different PS with different views and I feelmuch more comfortable going the route I'm going. Time will tell.

Hang in their gals. Were all gonna make it thru this. I just read the thread for stage 3 survivors 5 years and more. It was so encouraging and helped with this mental funk I've been in letting BC mess with my mind. So glad this site exists .