I've lost my joy.

On the topic of goats, you really can "Rent a Ruminant" in Seattle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9jxa7T6WGQ

Even funnier was the time I was visiting the wine bar near Pike Place Market. A couple came stumbling in, clearly the worse for wear. They thought they were hallucinating because they had just seen goats on the bank walking up the hill from the waterfront. We assured them that their brains were just fine.....just that they had seen Goat Renter Guy and his "ruminants".

Their sanity was restored by some good Northwest wine. - Claire

Thank you for posting the pic of Herschel. Makes me happy seeing his/her pretty face!

Wow!  I saw this post and said - that's me and started reading.  I have a great life, but there just seems to not be much joy in it as much as I try.  Outwardly, everything seems fine, but I just feel like I'm going through the motions...get up, go to work, come home, cook dinner, do some laundry, watch TV, sleep do it all over again.  At first, I thought it was the fact that finances could be better and haven't had a vacation from work in two years due to the cancer diagnosis, surgery and treatments.

I started Letrozole about two months ago.  I experience the normal joint aches and pains and the horrible hot flashes, but it really isn't that bad, I guess.  I just notice that I'm just not jazzed about much of anything.

I don't want to take more medicine, but wonder if an anti-depressant isn't a good idea?  I just HATE the thought of taking one.

Thanks for listening.

I hate taking meds too! That said, I have back issues and take an antidepressant for the referred pain caused by it. I feel sooooo much better. I've tried lowering the dose and within a few days, the pain returns. Likewise, many years ago, while my sons were adolescents, they suffered from migraines and were prescribed the same medication that I now take. They both did well on the medication. Furthermore, the DH hates meds. He just looks at the bottles of meds that he takes and the bottles make him sick. He suffers from depression and I can safely safely say that if he didn't take his antidepressant, he would greatly suffer.

I hope this will help someone...

I recall my husband saying to me, "I just want my happy wife back." All the color had gone out of my life. I haven't cried once since before my diagnosis. I don't sleep because I worry instead. And I knew my personality was gone...completely flat affect. I had difficulty concentrating and felt easily irritated. I had no carefree moments.

I am still going through reconstruction and I still have many moments of fear and distraction by cancer concerns. But things have improved for me. Most days seem relatively normal unless I'm going through a recurrence scare and that seems to happen often. I'm starting to feel like my happy old self again...sometimes.

Things that I think have helped me:

Time

Exercise

Fresh air and sunshine

Incorporating things I enjoy into my schedule everyday.

I joined a BC support group and love it.

BCO has been a lifesaver but it is important for me to stay away for periods of time and allow my focus to be elsewhere.

I place greater value on myself, my well being and my happiness. I've spent money on myself in ways I would not have considered prior to diagnosis. I buy more expensive organic foods. I've spent money to make myself look better and to make my life easier. I hired a housekeeper and a landscaper. For me this is all about valuing myself, my feelings and my time. I haven't gone out of budget and that would be unwise. I would simply prefer to spend my time planting flowers rather than pulling weeds.

I started taking skydiving lessons. That's certainly not for everyone but it's hard to be in a bad mood when you're jumping out of a plane.

And, in addition to my 2 dogs and 2 cats I adopted a bunny rabbit. Meet Milo!

He follows me everywhere I go and that makes me happy.

Everyone tells me that the further away I am from cancer treatment the more it will fade into the past. I have to believe that it's true.

Warrior Woman, your idea of moving further away from treatment does help with your mood and joy. Unfortunately for myself treatment will always be right in front of me until the day I die, due to my recent stage 4 diagnosis. It's been a tough pill for me to swallow, knowing the beast came back.

I wish you well and many happy & healthy years!

Thanks Tomboy, I have good and bad days, hoping with the help of my psychiatrist to have more good than bad soon! It hasn't been easy, but my oncologist is very optimistic and says I have many years in front of me, i hope he's right!

I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me the day I had to go off the estrogen! I was on it for years, since they told me the benefits outweighed the risks. After I stopped using it, it wasn't even a week before the hot flashes and night sweats started up with a vengeance! I was getting in my 60's what should have happened in my late 40's, early 50's. I don't even know if they prescribe it much anymore like they once did. Anyway, then to start on AI's .. what a jolt to the old body. I never realized how good estrogen was for bones, moods, skin, mind, everything! My had doctor told me it would help all those things. I just didn't know how much. But it was also what fed my BC, according to other doctors I have seen.

Herschel, you make me smile!