Post mastectomy Pain with tissue expander- Reality

berlin42000- I'm sorry that you are going through this. Yes, this was extremely painful and frustrating for me too yet I don't regret one moment of it. My life was uprooted just like everyone elses. I was happy, making plans, running longer trail distances in order to run an ultra marathon. I read blogs, BCO, & even found some videos on youtube before my BMX. It helped me understand that this was NOT going to be easy. I also had my little sister who went through this and more for her Stage IIIb BC 11 years ago at 27 years of age. She told me this was going to be one of the hardest things I would go through but that I could do it. I feel so fortunate that I had a great support system as not everyone does. Everyone's experience with pain and emotions is different but the one thing I was looking for was a sense of normalcy for MYSELF. I opted for the TE's and they caused such pain that would turn into exhaustion from the pain that I would be reduced to a sobbing mess. I allowed myself to let it all out and then would pick myself up, dust myself off and resume some normal activity. I never was under the impression this would be easy or pain free yet really didn't know until I went through it myself. When I went for my post op appointment after my BMX with my BS I thought I would never have to see him again. He let me know he needed to see me once a year to make sure nothing looked suspicious. I was floored. I thought with pure DCIS a BMX was all I needed.

The women here on BCO have helped me tremendously with sharing their thoughts and experiences. When I would have stabbing, fiery sensations around my chest I read others accounts on having the same feelings. The nerve pain was crazy but I knew I wasn't alone and that gave me comfort. The chest cramps/spasms? Took my breath away but once again others were going through the same thing. Numbness and tender backs of arms or armpits from lymph node biopsies? Yep, others were feeling that too. I had never experienced such pains, lack of quality sleep or varying emotions! Yet I found ways to cope and shared with others in hopes that they would get relief.

We all have been handed different cards as far as our diagnoses and treatments go but still share a bond.

I agree that some peoples comments are so ridiculous. I was surprised at how many people think you just get a "new set" of boobs and life is back to like it was before all of this. No it's not. I have two scars and no nipples to prove it. Many people just don't know what to say and try to look on the "brighter side" of things. But as my little sister says it's your "new normal". Only the ones that have gone through this understand. I had a friend say to me " I've heard that women that get breast cancer didn't nurture themselves." I didn't know what to say. She truly believes that. And this is someone I truly like.

My exchange surgery was on May 1st. What's wild is that with clothes on I can't tell the difference from before my BMX!

You are normal in everything you are feeling. This is not an easy road to travel but like others before us it can be done. Remember you are only 3 weeks into this so allow yourself to vent. Time really does help.

berlin42000- My heart goes out to you. You can do this and have TONS of support here at BCO. Please allow yourself to feel every emotion you can but remember to laugh and find humor in things. Remember you are not alone and have support and love. All of this that your going through and are experiencing is because you have a will and strength in you already. I'm sending you a BIG hug!

Hi Everyone!!

I had my mastectomy in February of 2015.  I had 95% of my right breast removed with the nipple taken out.  I did the breast expander. Didn't need chemo or radiation. In May of this year, I had a breast lift and breast reconstructive. Breast cancer for everyone is different.  when I was found out I had breast issues I made jokes about it.  I'm at the end of my breast cancer, and hitting the emotional part.

You see all those pictures of before and after I can say, that's not me.

You hear different stories and I can say we are all different in our healings and dealings.  I had my drainage from the mastectomy for 3 months and a day.  It was removed after I had the breast reconstructive surgery.  Then had it for almost 3 weeks, but for me the stitch detached itself from my body and on Saturday, June 6th, with the doctor's request pulled it out. 

I'm dealing with red breast syndrome on the breast that had cancer. 

I have found for myself that even though I speak to my parents when I'm dealing with being a breast cancer survivor, I found speaking to other women at various groups help.  Investing and finding to see if your hospital has a support group. 

Some days I cry because my breasts don't look like breasts. My emotions are shot.  The left one that had the lift is swollen and so sensitive and the right one that had the breast cancer looks like it did when I had the breast expander inside it (only it's more red).  It looks more like that small little football (that's what I had called it when I had the breast expander).  I have no feeling in the breast. 

To think before having the breast cancer, I loved my breast and would touch them all the time.  Now, I take care of them and protect them and cover them with lots of gauze and neosporine.

kmahalick I wish you all the best!!

I hope the outcome is a positive one for you. 

I totally understand your feelings. It is a little stab to me each time somebody says something stupid, like ask me if my husband asked the plastic surgeon to make the reconstructed one and the natural one bigger. Truthfully, I had my exchange 12/14 and I have not showed my husband either of them. In clothes, they match and look fine. I didn't elect to have a nipple done, so maybe had I done that, it would have seemed more real looking but since I didn't, when I look in the mirror, it just looks somewhat weird. But, that said, I am glad that I did it because it is a reminder of this nightmare but it is less of a reminder than if I had to fool with a padded bra or something else daily. But, that is me, others are happy not doing reconstruction. The biggest surprise I had from mastectomy was that I was sore for such a long time. Just seemed my whole body was sore. I did think I would snap back sooner. The expander was uncomfortable but I can't say that I had that many issues with it. Just felt tight sometimes but I took muscle relaxers and that really helped with that feeling. If I could be sure that I was never going to have to deal with this again, I think I could adjust to the fake boob but I always have that fear that its coming back and this nightmare will start all over again. So, you are feeling normal, just take one day at a time.

Berlin, you are not alone in your feelings and it is important to be real about what is going on. You WILL get thru this, but it will be hard at times as you can see. There is no right or wrong way of doing this, so don't get caught up in that either.

((hugs))

I can't tell you how much I appreciate this post. I think there's a lot of pressure on us to be positive and be strong and everything else, and sometimes it just sucks and we should be able to say that and be angry we have to deal with it.

I'd make the same decision had I known how horrible this would be, but it still is far worse than I expected. I think I was also in a bit of denial prior to the surgery, and I wonder how much that affects how I'm dealing with the recovery.

I went berserk the other day when someone told me that I made the right choice so that I could new boobs. I've heard variations of that a zillion times, but this time just did me in. Seriously?!! There are far easier ways to get new boobs (that are actually boobs) rather than this!!