Self Destruct

Hi, am a newbee & in a total mess. I was diagnosed with breast cancer grade 3 aggressive in July '14, following, 3 failed IVF attempts, 3 years chronic migraines & cluster headaches, & chemical induced menopause, boom cancer! Have finished my treatment albeit my heceptin. My H & I had been struggling & walking on eggshells for a while. I became very needy & my confidence was gone. I pestered him with how do I look, do you fancy me, do you want me, why don't you want to have sex with me. Anger & frustration began & Finally I met someone who flattered me & wanted me, it was purely physical & I had a short lived fling but my H found out, I told him & my life is shattered, my H has left. I'm in despair but only have myself to blame, I was selfish & thoughtless. I still can't believe I have done this, butis there anyone out there who has self destructed or am I on my own?