Going back to work soon....feeling sick about it...

With my bosses permission, I sent out a couple group 'update' emails. That way I didn't have to deal with explaining things over and over to people individually. As far as going back to work, if people asked how I was doing, I answered, "I'm hanging in there" and then quickly asked them something about themselves.....people like to talk about themselves and took the focus off me....made things feel more 'normal' again.

I worked through chemo and rads, but I've relied on some colleagues to post updates about my health so I don't have to update everyone personally. They ran my "Lots-a-Helping Hands" site and found volunteers to help me out when I needed it. Like Ruthbru, I make sure to give succinct answers to questions about my health and then change the subject to something office-related. Interestingly, many of my colleagues have also had health scares in recent months (prostate cancer, MS, back problems, etc.), so I'm not the only member of the "working wounded" club.

How do want to handle it? Do you want to let them know how you're feeling, or do you want to jump right back in?

This is just a thought; could you (with your bosses permission) send out a group email expressing your thoughts and how you would like to handle your return. Your workmates are going to feel just as awkward  as you and would, I think, be relieved to have some guidance on how to best handle things.

Cosmic69,

What does your dr. say about the drenching sweats and chills? That sounds miserable, and I can see why you're having anxiety about returning to work

Hey there:

I was dx second primary BC on the left side in January 2017. I have had mastectomy, SNB and started reconstruction with TE on my left side and fat grafting on my right side( I had mastectomy 13 years ago with radiation and chemo then).

So, my mastectomy was 5 weeks ago now and I am healing. I do not need radiation this time and possibly no chemo either. I find this out May 8th when the oncotype DX comes back. I will be on hormone therapy long term.

Anyways, I took short term disability from work, and the insurance company told me the other day they will continue with my claim only if I need radiation or chemo. Otherwise, they will mandate I return to work.

So it looks like then, I will need to return mid May. I do have other surgeries planned to continue the reconstruction process. One is June sometime for more fat grafting on the right side and then other in September or October for TE placement on the right side. I don't know if this is covered by short term disability or not. I am afraid to ask. LOL.

My job is high pressure and I drive around alot (6 or more hours a day usually) and lift and install heavy equipment. I honestly do not know if I can do this job anymore physically. I just don't know. But more importantly than that, is the emotional strain I feel returning to work. The job is very stressful and I don't know if I can handle that - I still feel fragile from the second breast cancer diagnosis. Work is contacting me (the HR person, my boss and the girl covering my job) asking how I am doing and when can I return. The girl covering my job is actually asking me to resolve work problems she is having. So, I feel pressure to return from work and insurance company.

I think I am being a big baby and I should put my big girl panties on and get on with it. But I am having anxiety about going back to work in a month or so.

So I can understand why others are having anxiety too. Last time I had BC, I was off work for over a year with all the treatments and there was no pressure to return. ( I had a different job then). When I did return, I was so tired at first and I got support and understanding. I took it slow then.