I've lost my joy.

O farmerLucy! Big hug! I am right there with you! Estrogen is the happy hormone for me too! Bedtime is a desired state for me too. What I do now, is if there is ANYTHING that makes me a little happier, I do it with all my might. I am kind of doing some odd things. I am building a doll house, and playing with dolls... weird... I never really did when I was a kid. I am cleaning the hell out of my house, getting rid of all unecessary clogginesses. I think i mispelled something there. I am watching a LOT of movies, reading, walking. Kind of making myself a kinder gentler world.. it helps.. as do pharmaceuticals..

hugs too Lucy! I am just now post menopausal and due to start rads soon and am on Effexor. I did a trial off of it last summer and my family politely informed me I might want to try it again. Back on and feel much better with hot flashes and mood etc. Now that I finally feel good, I am nervous about getting on the endocrine meds post rads. esp since just 25 % pos. We are all in this together sistah ;0)

farmerlucy,

I live in OK, too, and the endless rain is dreary.... over 18 inches in the last month -- apparently, it's some kind of state record. When I first started Zoladex and aromasin, I felt moody, moody, moody. I think I was missing my estrogen, too. Finally, I asked MO for an anti-depressant. She prescribed Celexa, which seems to be doing the trick. She also suggested exercise. I love swimming, but I'm just a few weeks out of rads and RO has to look at my burnt boob first. He wants to make sure that the skin is healed enough before he lets me go in chlorine water. So, my exercise has essentially involved walking around the block with my kids, who like to stomp in the puddles. Hope you feel better soon!

Farmer...My secret to feeling good? Exercise...that is, taking long walks each day, whether it be by myself or with friends. Reading. Treating myself, kindly and gently. Really! And that means not looking at myself too closely in the mirror. Comfortable shoes! If my feet hurt....I can't think straight. Music...definitely calms my spirit. Family....oh how I enjoy looking forward to being with family and then returning home and letting only the good memories warm my heart. Amnesia...choosing to forget my hurt feelings, wrinkles and whatever else SHOULD bother me...but I won't! And finally. ...You know what should really get you out of the dumps????? Volunteer. Tell me, Farmer....what is it that you really, truly would love to do that would fulfill your soul? Do you love to garden? Do you love to drive? Do something for others! Volunteer to drive cancer patients to treatments. Join a botanical society and cultivate the land and cultivate friends along the way. I love to read...so I became a literacy volunteer. Volunteering fulfills my heart and eases my pain.....make a difference and you will see how emotionally empowering it is.... And if that doesn't work....make an appointment with your team and tell them you need help. By no means are you alone....speak up!

I'm sending you very gentle hugs....

Ah sleep....really hard to have joy when you are struggling to keep your eyes open.

My list is similar to VRs. I exercise enough to feel great about the way I look. Exercise also lifts my mood and clears the brain. So it keeps me on my game.

I make a "to do" list of fun items and things I need to accomplish personally, and then do them. I have done this for the past 20 years. I do 3-4 adventures each summer. Just got back from a weekend consisting of a 5k canyon run, followed by vineyard camping, followed by a gorgeous cycling event in another canyon. Wine and great food in between all this. So fun, and the most glorious scenery imaginable. (Posted pix on the exercise thread.) Notice I am staying close to home this weekend as realized I needed to catch up.

I have been buying most of the coffee at work recently (very small office). This was in self-defense, and much better tasting than generic cheap that someone else was getting.

I am now three weeks past all AIs and all medication. Biggest change is having more endurance, and I think a need to sleep as my body adjusts the other way. I think my skin is looking better too.

On having a slightly altered appearance....I wholeheartedly recommend paying a good cosmetics counter a visit where the ladies have training, and then having a makeover done. We do look different post treatment, and need to update accordingly. So unless you never wear makeup, this is an absolute must. I recently completely changed the way I do my eyes, so much better/much more chic-looking now. And I almost always wear a fabulous lip color when I leave the house.

Feel better soon Farmer Lucy. I came through this experience not wanting to squander the extra time God granted me on this earth. So I am in high gear. So while I have a bit less money at this stage of my life than I planned, my life and career are infinitely richer.

Which reminds me....I need to plan my next adventure. - Claire

Can I come and live in your barn with the kitties! We can make goat yogurt, yum! And a donkey?!? How fun is that?

I love that. A lazy dog and a dumb ass.

I found a light box in amazon. I think that made a huge difference this winter. I've gone back to Effexor. Sleep is crucial. Everything is worse when you're tired or hungry.

I joined a Zumba class. Love the loud music and just laugh at my lack of coordination.

Good luck with the volunteering.

I also miss oestrogen, I feel worn out all the time and aged, some days I take an hour to get moving as I am so stiff everywhere.........the phrase no joy is one I have used........I miss me.........I am so much more irritable too..getting to the point where I am thinking of stopping it for a couple of months, going to argue it out at my next appointment

nestle17: I read somewhere that 80% of women with bc have no family history of any kind of cancer. There was no cancer of any kind in either of my parents families so I was absolutely stunned to be dx'd with it.

Please find some type of exercise that you like to do...for me, it's jogging on a mini trampoline as my elliptical was too tiring. Am sending happy positive thoughts your way...

I second the lightbox.  I got mine for less than $100, and it has really helped.  We are going through the same rainy period in the upper Midwest.  It rains pretty much every day. I had stopped using the lightbox because spring was here, but then I realized we didn't have much sunshine, so I have resumed, and it helps.     

I agree also the idea of  finding little daily activities you love to do and do them for yourself.  Mine are walking around a local lake, putting music on in the car and singing loudly, pulling weeds and planting flowers, going to lunch with my friends.  I also found it helpful to notice activities that downgrade your mood and stop doing them.  For each person, these things will be different, but no reason to put yourself in a bad mood. 

I hope you feel better and I hope the rain stops!

Not to mention being able to wear white jeans without worry. Just the most glorious evening here. I had a busy day driving over 100 miles each way to a Brain Cancer Walk as a board member of the organization I do work for. I am so glad I went as we needed a presence there. I had someone join me on the road trip, so I showed her the coast line and Skagit Valley on the way back. She had never seen them.

I think I scared her to death when made a fast turn into a side road at a place selling eggs. Then stopped at the butter place.

We had lunch with two other people in a town called Fairhaven....very done up and great fun. I will definitely go back.

Dinner ahead and an early evening.

Speaking of joy, saw a guy rabbit chasing a lady rabbit during my run about an hour ago. Think there may be more than enough "joy" to go around here.

Glad you are feeling better, Lucy.

P.s. One of my less "joyous" occasions in my life was with my goat I had when I was 8. I took her out for exercise in the early spring and was rewarded by her dragging me through about 100' of rocks, dirt, and manure. But at least she didn't get loose. Still a memorable experience. - Claire