So Many Different Emotions

Heatherta7
Heatherta7 Member Posts: 3
edited May 2015 in Waiting for Test Results

I'm a 38 yo female. Adopted so I don't know my family history. I've always had female issues since a kid. Started my cycle at 8 yo.

I have been having a stabbing pain in my chest near my right breast. I literally thought it was from my SAI. I never thought it was my breast. As a working mom I never took time off for my health, but always theirs. Or for their school and sports. I finally went to my obgyn since I'm trying to have another child after recently getting married. After feeling my breast my doc says I need a mammo. What I thought was my "good" breast...very firm and perky minus the dimpling and the white and yellow stuff in my nipple, occasional discharge and what I called "chicken skin" on my breast, he did not like. I just thought it was because I was getting older.

I got my mammo on 4/28. Two days later I lost my job...and insurance.Next day my obgyn calls to tell me there is two spots he's concerned with, but not to worry. Get a diagnostic mammo and ultrasound. I said ok. Knowing I can't because I don't have insurance now. 4 days later I get a call from my obgyn nurse and literally everyday after pressing me to get the other tests. I explained my situation. My doc calls last Friday personally and scolds me and says I need to find a way to get this done.

Today was my appt at a center that provides free or low cost breast screenings. I get there nervous as hell and ready to get this over with. Give them my images from a few weeks ago and wait to be called. I wasn't worried until my doctor explained that the pain I kept talking about was in the same spot the thing they saw is located. That itching...same spot as the other thing. Then I'm finally called only to be reset until the 28th due to administrative issues and miscommunication. It's not the clinics fault, but I'm so scared. So worried. Why did I not think of going to the obgyn the first I noticed changes in my breast?? I've never felt a lump. But that's all you hear. You never hear about changes in your breast should be a red flag. Or at least I didnt. I'm scared and overwhelmed with everything. I should have gone sooner. I even have the sensation that I have milk coming in like I did when I nursed my kids 18 years ago. Why did I not think that was abnormal

I've lost control. I'm always in control and the job situation with my industry and now this. I'm literally at the edge. And now I wait some more.

I just needed to vent....waiting is so damn hard. Thank you for listening as I have no one to talk to about this right now.

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Comments

  • bellajenn
    bellajenn Member Posts: 51
    edited May 2015

    Heatherta7 - So sorry you feel so out of control! That definitely happens when you hear that something isn't normal. Like you, I'm adopted and have no idea of what my biological background is, so that doesn't help when it comes to the important questions like, "Do you have a history of BC in your family?" I'm also sorry you lost your job. Added stress!!!

    Is it possible that there is coverage for a short period of time? Or is there something like Cobra to cover as much as possible? It sounds like you're doing everything you can right now for yourself. You'll find lots of support here for you anytime you want to rant! Best wishes!!

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  • Fakeboobs123
    Fakeboobs123 Member Posts: 92
    edited May 2015

    when you step into a Breast clinic especially with a referal everyone has a sense of urgency and taking things very seriously in my experience, it's just the vibe there because the professionals take their roles very seriously. Try not to read into it. It is wonderful you're getting checked out, keep up with appointments, I think Susan Komen has a helpline that can refer you to places for free screening or sliding scale fees, I called it years ago and they told me Bellvue Hospital in NYC offers it. I have the NY state of health insurance, I wonder if the market place is still open? Double check because in NY I'm sure I saw a billboard saying the length of time to sign up had extended since last year, failing that can you turn in the paper work for medicaid! I believe in NY you can apply online now check it out. I just had to delay a colonoscopy because I haven't paid my insurances premium, its struggle out there sometimes hang in there. Ps my local hospital is private and I've used their charitable funds before drastically reducing medical bills to under $100.

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  • Heatherta7
    Heatherta7 Member Posts: 3
    edited May 2015

    Komen ran out of funds. The clinic I am going to is a major breast clinic in my area. They turned me away with my doctor referral, orders, images, but have been helpful in finding other funding to perform the other tests once I have all necessary paperwork completed. Problem is, I made too much money when I worked. Now that I'm unemployed I'm being penalized for my previous years income. Cobra is 2100 a month so I can't do that. Trying other avenues and not giving up. Staying patient. My appt is next Thursday. I have two masses. 1 cm and 1.7 cm. That is all I know at this point.

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  • Heatherta7
    Heatherta7 Member Posts: 3
    edited May 2015

    On a positive note, I will get my results immediately after the do they further tests at my appointment on Thursday.

    What are the percentages in yalls opinions on mass findings over 1 cm being benign? Just curious. Does size matter any? Guess I'm just curious from people in this group if they have had 1cm+ masses found to be benign. And what should I be asking at my next appointment? I want to be informed.

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  • MaryJC
    MaryJC Member Posts: 350
    edited May 2015

    Fakeboobs12- HELLO! Been looking for another NYer!! I go to Weill Cornell/NYP. You go to BV? Love your handle... HILARIOUS! You sound like a NYer lol. Meanwhile I found this thread searching the term colonoscopy bec I have one coming up and I. Am. Freaking. OUT!

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  • MaryJC
    MaryJC Member Posts: 350
    edited May 2015

    Hi Heather, I agree w/fakeboobs. You can apply for Medicaid on line and it's MUCH easier. You can also get emergency Medicaid as well. Is there a nurse navigate or social worker at your hospital/breast center? If so they are there to help with these matters.

    Re your question on your mass, there's absolutely no telling! A poster that is a dear friend now shared the same characteristics as I with the masses. Hers was benign, mine was not. No telling. BUT a mass that size, IF malignant is more than likely early. Which means adjuvant treatment if needed, ie after lumpectomy. Hugs

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  • jbdayton
    jbdayton Member Posts: 700
    edited May 2015

    MaryJC I did a colonoscopy in April this year. It was easy-peasy compared to any of this breast cancer stuff. What are you most worried about?

    The prep to get ready is the worse. I was able to get all the prep fluids down within a 4 hour window and was very clean for the test. I was put on a liquid diet for Saturday and the prep fluids beginning Sunday noon. Then water for the rest of the day. Procedure was early Monday morning.

    Relax it is not so bad.

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  • MaryJC
    MaryJC Member Posts: 350
    edited May 2015

    thanks JB! Yes that's the universal consensus- the prep is the worst part. I'm afraid of cancer!!! My mom was dx'd with colon cancer in 2003 and still fighting it. She's doing great tho. She is BLESSED! She's been an alcoholic for about 30 years which I've read contributes to it. I'm praying lifestyle is the factor bec I eat well- no meat, don't drink etc. even all thru chemo, still on via pill, she drank and still drinks. But once you have cancer anywhere you're scared you have it everywhere :

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