INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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Jazzy, Mel, and Smaarty, thank you!
Mel, is it muscle or joint? Have you tried massage?
Smaarty, busy weekend! Hope tomorrow is better. I can't believe you had the drains for 5 weeks!! I am draining about 15cc on one and less than 10cc on the other. Will call Dr. Lin tomorrow to see if I can have them removed.
MS. BLONDIE, HOPE YOU GET YOUR VISION BACK SOON!!
Patty and Mommy hope you are ok!
Rose, you ok??
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Mama I am so sorry you and your husband know your relationship only you do do what you need to do what is right for both of you there is no time limit and nothing has to be done right now. We are here if you need us to listen or for advice hugs big hugs xoxoxo
Sandy
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MammaRay- I am sorry to hear about the martial problems. I would imagine it would be a bit more challenging for someone who does counseling to receive it. Your family has had so much stress with everything going on. I hope there is a way he can be open to it with you or on his own. Wishing you better days.
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I woke up with sciatic pain down my left butt/hip screaching through to my knee... very uncomfortable walking and painful. I am hoping to go to sleep and wake up with this new pain gone! Probably will have it for life. So I am grumpy and gimpy. My DD2 came down and that was fun to see her. DD3 was a perfect pill most of the weekend. Glad she's back at school; dreading to the marrow of my being summer break. She transforms into the insufferable whining victim... teenagers suck.
Mamray- cancer rarely helps a marriage gotta say. It's not done anything positive for ours. We suffer through like the 2 old folks and the pitch fork in that famous painting "American Gothic." We took our vows and what's done is done. Goodluck.
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MammaRay, so sorry this is happening. With you. If counseling is something you can get cooperation from husband, it's a good thing with the right counselor. Chevy posted a link on Warm and Fuzzy's that was to Mark Gungor. That link was to one of his short excerpts that was more on the fun side. It was interesting enough that I looked at many of his topics. He does marriage counseling seminars nationwide. He has many on Youtube. He uses comedy, counseling and the bible to get his message across. Doesn't sound like they would mix, but it does. He has a topic to fit most problems. At least you can watch them in the privacy in your own home. Doesn't replace face to face counseling, but may help a bit. Hugs sweetie.
Loverly, I guess I sounded too dramatic. My frustration mostly was with the Web sites. They weren't user friendly. It got to be almost comedic after awhile. I kept after it until the review of the two free credit reports were done and the transunion dispute was done about that address appearing in my bio.The two errors that were on Transunion couldn't of impacted me too much. My credit score with them was 820 out of a possible 850. Experian was 816/850. It's just another hoop to jump through. I put a fraud alert a few years ago which goes until 2018. It prevents anyone from trying to get credit in my name with out me being spoken too. So I'm well covered. BTW a fraud alert is different than a freeze. A freeze is much more difficult to reverse if you decide to change it.
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Mamma. / that's a tough conversation. Sorry. I agree cancer sure adds a whole lot of stress to a marriage and family. Seems more and more like we are roommates or tag team parents. I've been trying to change that but dh seems so beaten down by all we've been thru the last 2 years since stage IX dx. Hoping the best for you whatever that is.
Chevy - was wondering how your grandson was doing.
Blonde. - what are you going to do in FL ? How you going to get there ? I hope you have a wk refill time. You deserve some vacation time.
Jazz love the lightening pic
Maria. - welcome.
Dang I can't remember everything else I was saying to everyone. Boo. Anyway hugs sll around
Hootie hoo
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Morning gals... MAN, it just is the worst when things are going wrong in a marriage... And it doesn't matter how old you are, or what the reasons are... It just tears both people apart...
When drinking is the major problem, there is just no fixin' when the chit hits the fan. Some of us can find a temporary reprieve by leaving.... running away... You have to run, because you are afraid.... Or just "falling out of love".... When both people are not "together" in their hearts, a marriage will break apart.
Sometimes going to "classes" where other's are in the same sinking boat... and listening..... Filing for divorce will shake some sense into them.... but staying away then going back, leaving, going back, and finally STAYING away until they get some sense knocked into them, will usually make a difference. But both of you will have to want it, more than anything else. One can't be the only one caring..........
It's like both of you have to hit the bottom... You have "lost" everything you have cared for, and now feel like you have nothing...... And you are just swimming in a sea of misery.
It's when you let it all go... give it up... cry until there is nothing left.... and then........... You start to see little pieces of light... maybe taking a phone-call... listening... meeting for coffee.... and listening..... asking for help, either through a church or professionals...... and listening.
But being apart is sometimes healing for both of you.... Sometimes old memories come back, and the rage and anger get pushed aside, and you are feeling sadness, lonliness and even "caring" starts coming back....
It's just so beautiful to live through something like that, and then can look back, and see how you have gone through hell... both of you.... and can re-connect and be really "together" again... I wish this for you MamaRay..
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MammaRay - I worked for a psychiatrist for a year. Believe you me all psychiatrists have their own. Why should a counselor be any different? If he chooses to see one he needs to be upfront with them about what he does when scheduling. Hopefully your area is big enough he can get away from his usual area. You/he would know best if he would even open up with someone he knew professionally already. Do you see any end to his stressors or is he taking on more and more? Is he escaping into his work? Avoidance? I'm just playing devil's advocate here. Ignore what I've said if it doesn't apply and I'm certainly in no way scolding/prying/or even expecting any answers. Just things to ponder. Again I remind myself with my DH that I cannot, cannot in any way change his behavior. As much as I cajole/whine/slam doors/sulk. I can only change the way I respond to it. Have you checked with your cancer center for counseling for you even if he won't go? You have tons on your plate to deal with for sure without this. ((((HUGS)))) sweet sister.
Blondie - some advice from a former hospice nurse. JUST in case - have your hospice there make arrangements with a hospice in FL if you need anything. This is very commonly done and I bet knowing your part of the country and snowbirds they've done it many times. Oxygen stuff breaks, tubing leaks, not to mention meds. Driving or flying? I had a pt who would reg. travel from the Ft. Worth area to San Antonio like every 2-3 months. Made a good relationship with a hospice there. She eventually moved down there to sister's house. Much better to be safe than sorry. A hospice should be more than willing to do this - in their best interest. Maybe call the social worker to get it started - who used to do ours. Make sure you have plenty of documentation for your meds. Get hospice to print out your care plan or something very official from them. I had meds mailed to that pt who traveled but I had a pharm. that did only hospice so they were used to it. Any chance your oxygen is supplied by NHME? If so they are national. I know you know strategies to keep your meds safe. Be extra vigilant in strange environments - just sayin'.
Rose - hope the pain is easing some. Teenagers - what can I say?
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morning ladies. It's quiet on here today. Everybody sleeping ? I hope everyone is out having do much fun they haven't had time to post today. Wouldn't that be awesome.
Mammaray - thinking of you.
Hugs all around. Hootie hoo
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Luvmygoats- I everything you mentioned to Mamaray. Nice summary post of things to think about. I think if folks read posts like these in the spirit of shared experience and life experience and not neccessarily telling anyone what to do, then information/ different perspectives gets shared. I have never been a hospice nurse so I don't have any work experience in those waters and appreciate shared experience from those who have lived/worked been there. Anyway, the psychiatrists I have known saw other psychiatrists too, maybe for perspective and getting too close to your work kind of thing. I was never cheeky enough to ask.
Teens are teens.. icky creatures. DD3 had a temper fit in front of all these folks over wanting DH to sign up people for a school jogathon. Here we were at someone's home, with county reps for our DD1 and it's all business. DD3 expected DH to tell everyone to cough up $! When he said no not here, DD3 marched out into the driveway of this home and threw all the jogathon papers on the ground with this F-you attitude. This is infront of like 9 people. I was so pissed that she behaved that way towards her Dad I could have throttled her. She refused to pick the papers up and made DH get them. This kid is 14 years old and going into 8th grade. I was disgusted and livid. Next day she still wouldn't say she was sorry. Teenagers suck.
The pain is absolutely worse. It woke me up at 3:30am more meds, was still up at 4:30 when DH made a bathroom run. He was like what are you doing up? "Waiting for meds to kick in".. everything takes for ever. Did finally make it back to sleep but walking and moving, sitting ..oy even my knee and thigh is hurting. Not sure what to do.. I remember some mild stenosis in the lumbar region but nothing else sticks out in my memory from recent scans. No numbness. I am sure something got tweaked that didn't want to be tweaked and is complaining with a vengence. Just have to wait it out. At least it's sunny if you are sidelined. Hope everyone else is ok.
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uugh.. I have been awake most of the night.. Might join you ladies here if I may.?
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Welcome! I was on line from 3-4am Pacific time and no one was around. Hi Lucy! Jump in.
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Welcome Lucy. Not so glad that you have to be here but glad we are here for you. I gather this thread used to have a bunch of posters from other side of the world. Per sister Sassy it was 24-7. Whatcha want to talk about?
Rose I wake up with hip pain sometimes. Know it's nothing like yours though. And I know it's really back pain. I try the back presses and the side stretches and sometimes it allows me to go back to sleep. Other times it says well you may as well start on the coffee truck.
Summer struck today. 90 degrees. Trying hard to stir up a thunderstorm. I like the rain just not the floods. Picky aren't I?
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Lots of counselors have their own counselor to talk to. Otherwise your get PTSD from your clients. So it's not uncommon at all.
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Hi Lucy! Welcome and good morning to you. Hope you find laughter, support, and love here.
Patty, I thought it was quiet this morning too. Thought maybe everyone was sleeping, except Ms. Chevy, so didn't make any noise.
Oh Rose, sorry I was sleeping until close to 5 am today. I was whooped yesterday for doing I don't know what. Went to bed at 9:30. Sciatica is no fun. First time I had it was when I was pregnant with my DD. Didn't know what it was. Everytime I put my right leg in front of my left, I would get this shooting pain down my right leg as if an arrow or something sharp went through my right butt. It was the weirdest pain. My right side still bothers me every so often but not as bad as the first time I experienced it. Teenagers are tough. My older seems to focus on self now more than before, sometimes with a sense of entitlement. We have to constantly remind her that there are others who have needs too
I really appreciate the wisdom shared on here. Sometimes, you want to comfort another hurting person, but really don't know how because you haven't gone through the situation yourself or have no experience with it. For me, keeping quiet is not easy because it seems like I am not acknowledging the pain/suffering, so sometimes I put my foot in my mouth. Surely don't want to be the "one" people talk about on 'The Stupid Things People Say' Forum because of my ignorance. I am humbled by the wisdom and experiences you ladies shared.
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Loverly- there are many things here I have not been through, but think we all have a shared sense of compassion for one another. If I have something helpful to share, I do, but if I am unable to offer anything, I just say I am sorry and offer a big virtual hug. I think whatever we can do helps.
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Hey lucy, welcome
Patty, absolutely nothing, just want 2 b there.
Luv thanks 4 the info, i am really hoping he will let me go, i need a break from the stupid people around here.
Didnt go to sleep til 430am hopefully tonight will b different.
How is everyone
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Thanks for the welcome!
@chevyboy - Tease me all you want, I can take it! And I send iphone snapshots of the winter temperature in southern California to my brother in South Dakota, who wears flip flops when he comes home for Christmas.
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Just got home from work at 2:30 am to find my dogs have shredded another bed--#7 in 5 years. My mother bought them a tug-of-war rope years ago and they've been obsessed with pulling apart things ever since. I never had children so I think it's mom's way of paying me back for the s#!+ I was as a teenager. Oh, well. The foam is easier to pick up than the down pillow that fell victim to their shenanigans last fall...I'm STILL finding feathers in odd places. I'll probably see more such messes in the coming weeks since I won't be able to walk them or play ball with them very much once chemo starts.
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Morning Marla-marla-bo-rama! Your dogs sound like a lot of fun, playing together! Your name just reminds me of that song... Most of you probably don't remember...
But you take someone's name, like Sheri... And Sheri, Sheri, bo beri, banana-rama, bo-beri... etc... or SOMEthing like that... And one time I told my little Grandson, who was about 4, to sing his Dad's name in that song.... "Chuck".... and he said "I can't, my Mom said I can't do Dad's name!".... Hah! Paid ME back!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeF7jqf0GU4
I thought you meant YOUR bed at first...
You need to get them a heavy-duty cot-like bed, or one made of steel!
What are you doing out all hours of the night at 2:30? You say "work?" Sure... you did.... Me and Cammi tried THAT as an excuse, and didn't work with US either. You must work in the "entertainment" industry?
Yes, Spookie takes her retro-phone out on her porch
And posts shapshots from it to the rest of us in winter-weary wherever! WITH her flip-flops, and cute little toes hanging out!
Lucy? We have a Lucy? Welcome little sleepy-head!
Rosie, you scared her away! Or else she fell asleep in her tracks after you posted!
Come back little Lucy!
Littlegoats... MORNING! You can't sleep either? And you have PAIN? Can you take 2 Aleve before bedtime? Do I sound like Doctor Chevy or something?
No you guys.... when we are raising teenagers, we are just there to listen and not say a word.... that's how you get along... Pretend they aren't there, and just shove food under their door, because they don't like when you open it, and "spy" on them!
And don't ever tell them, that NO, they can't go to that Rave, or that Den of Inequity, where they smoke weed, and eat snacks... That's their "thing."
Little Loverly, don't ever think you stick your foot in your mouth... If you happen to do it once.... try the other foot... we ain't perfect you know....
Morning Blondie and Mamma-mamma ! It's Monday? No, wait, it's Tuesday! I read it wrong... Gotta go shop at Ross! Senior Tuesday, and since I am barely a Senior, I get a discount!
Shut up Spookie....
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Oh goodie!!!! Somebody else to post flip flop and temp pics!!!!! But we do need pics of the fur kids!!!!!
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I think she's perturbed at them.... they tore up their bed.... they are in "time-out".... "dog-house".....
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For Sass....
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Chevy- I love the "wish I were as thin as when...." I have some cocktail napkins that say that!
In the process of decluttering and reorganizing, I found some pictures of when I was around 17 yrs old and during a time I used to obsess about my weight. Or rather, my mother obsessed about my weight and made me neurotic about it. I was a bit chubby as a kid, but outgrew my "baby fat" in my teens and was very trim and fit. But that never stopped her from focusing on me! I had a boyfriend in my late teens/college who used to focus on my weight too. I gave him the old heave ho with time.
But as I looked at a picture of me and the old BF, I remembered how I used to still think I was fat then.
T-storms and heavy rains had me up middle of the night and I have an early morning meeting so I am tired (ugh), but wish you all a good day!
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Jazzy, hope you have time to squeeze in a nap
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Geez Chevy...I didn't mean to scare off Lucy. I won't share any more teen acting out/ vent stories.. that makes doggies tearing up their beds look like nothing. My 3 don't generally tear up beds. It's dog toys, paper products and cat toys. Our little terrier loves to shred Qtips! yuck. Mostly they are good, except for stealing cat food any chance they get. Dogs are definitely easier then children Marlana! Good luck with chemo.
We are supposed to get rain today too. Then it is supposed to be warmer and sunnier.. we will see. My scrapbook albums came yay! I need to reorganize photos into albums for the kids. Some of the albums they will put together for themselves. If they come out I'll post a page.. I'm new at this. Garden is blooming! We have lots of tiny cherries, apples and broccoli! Sciatica still a PIA (literally) but got to movng around a little yesterday, still hoping this too will pass. Loveroflif- you have had it too! Just stinks.. hope things are good for you.
Hey come back Lucy or Chevy will hound me! Mamaray I hope things have calmed down. Ya'll have a good day.
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Marla, was it as bad as this?
Or
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Ms. Chevy, have fun shopping. I like Ross and Marshalls. Just make sure you don't get something like this
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Hey Rose, glad to hear you are up and moving a bit. The first time sciatica hit me I was at the grocery store. For a few seconds I thought I was shot in butt or something. I remember looking back to see who was behind me and ask myself what the heck just happened. I haven't had one for awhile but the lower back muscles on same side bothers me every so often. It is still better than sciatica. Hope yours is temporary.
Took a picture of this when we were in Monterey last month ...
Have fun book scraping
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