Well, here it is. Another club I get to join
Well, I don't even know how to say it.
Freakin, f&$)in lymphedema has arrived. Another wonderful first, my first flare.
I have an appt. coincidentally, with a CLT this week. Fun times. I was just gonna get a sleeve for flight and now. All the signs are here, slow swelling, rings are tight, feels odd and heavy. So now, on to massages, wrappings, whatever other new tortures await me.
I cannot even tell any of my friends, because I do not feel like explaining the potential horrors of this particular gem, or, being what they think is consoling. They just will never understand. I love them but...how to explain? I do not want to be talked down from my ledge, or handled. I am jealous of their carefree normal lives, like my own used to be not even a year ago. I'm so sick of all of this. So I quit being honest with most of them awhile ago.
I now can add potentially debilitating swollen horrors to my list of physical deformities. That will never go away!!!! Great way to start a new week!
I am sorry to be so down but honestly, enough already. Isn't it bad enough that we have to all live under a cloud of stage 4 forever?
Sorrt to rant. i would appreciate any advice from you amazing women.
Comments
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Bippy, everyone here feels, knows, understands, and lives some portion of your well-expressed rage. I want to reach in with some kind of virtual text editor and take away 'freak,' but I know why you said it. You are soooo entitled to feel as you do. Managing your LE will get better. It will consume less time than you think. You'll get used to the garments. But you're nonetheless spot on....so rant on as much as you need.
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Venting is a "good thing" !
I'm just 1 year from diagnosis of BC and 6 months from diagnosis of LE. Not a great year.
BUT, I learned a few things so far
1. Don't look at Google images of LE, they do not represent you. They are the worst cases and years of neglecting to deal with LE.
2. You're on top of this, you're getting help early.
3. This sucks and than it sucks more, but it can be handled and people with this condition live to do things they want to do. So far that isn't working for me, I hiked, the rougher the better and that may have been going away due to age anyway, but I'm going to get back to the forests even if it is on the trails. My LE therapist has LE and plays golf. Kathy Bates has been in movies and had a series all while dealing with LE.
4. This takes time.
5. There is a lot of info here and on this site: http://www.stepup-speakout.org/ it can help in the choices you make.
6. This is a good place to rant. Rant On !
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You may not be able to tell your old friends, Bippy, but your new friends here will help you through this. I went to an LE therapist for about 4 months and was told that my arm would get bigger, but it didn't, how bad I needed a sleeve, which I got, and to get a pump and be ready for the swelling arm, which I didn't and the arm didn't swell either. I did learn MLD and do exercises every day and night. I do wear my sleeve and bra when I go walk or travel, just to be on the safe side. It is manageable. I will be happy to sit on that ledge with you whenever you want, my friend, as I have been talked down from there several times.
How's the job hunt going? Have you found something better than dramatic (domestic) law yet?
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hi Bippy, I have it too, radiation triggered it for me, then it went down and after a day of housework it came back
I have a sleeve and a glove but today I wore them and was more swollen after a busy day using my arm. This is so depressing, can't believe there is no fix to this
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i feel so much better after hearing from you all!
Last night was super rough emotionally. It felt better to express my true feelings here, where I am safe and understood. I am just now waiting for the call to meet with the therapist, I called and put it on a rush.
Carol, yes, I felt like every bit of that awful self description when I wrote that. Now, not so much. Think I released the poison. Thank you friend for being here!
Susansnowflake, how did you know that I was googling lymphedema?!
Thank you for explaining the images as being worst case. I was just crushed and thought it was my absolute future. I LOVE Kathy Bates, and she is an inspiration. All your advice is well taken and I am visiting the link.
Nomatterwhat and windgirl, hi friends! Your stories help greatly. I am sorry we all have been so assaulted by this chit, each of us by degrees. I have a job interview tomorrow, about light cleaning upscale vaca condos, part time. We shall see. My arm may not make that possible now. No law office wants me now, at least, no part time is available. Maybe that is for the best anyway.
I plan to concentrate on healing and not much else till after our vaca in September. Susan, we love hiking and outdoors in the woods too. That is all we plan to do then
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(((Bippy))) My fellow Floridian and LE pal. **sigh** it does suck. Last year I went thru several months of he**ll trying to get a solution for my truncal LE, which most people, including doctors, have never heard of, or seen,,, and have no idea how to treat. Thankfully I found the gang here who guided me in the right direction and were quite helpful with steering me to the websites where I found good info (stepupspeak) and ideas on how to find compression for my affected area. We know how you feel! Rant away! We are here for you!! -
LE does not 'define who/what I am (or you)! It is not the 'end of my life' as I want to live it (or anyone else) - unless I let/choose it do that. Yes - some do have more issues than others BUT - LE is just a part LIFE. I'd rather deal with slight inconviences and be LIVING than the other option. Yes, I do wear sleeve/glove every day, night garment nightly and use my FlexiTouch daily.
I am totally honest with everyone - they ask so why not educate? I give short answers - 'SE of BC'. If they want more info I am open and ready to answer their question as an excellent. It is somewhat surprising how many men will contact/ask Hubby (or Son) with questions.
(Bippy - there are those who will 'say/talk' in THEIR ignorance no matter what they decide to 'say' - they do NOT matter! They are not 'friends'. Whatever that is supposed to mean. Always answer HONEST questions honestly - but don't there is no reason to just the those who have no 'need to know' - unless you want to. You owe no 'rumor mongers' any info but as they will always come up their own 'storey' anyway.
I am not a "mutitated', burnt, damaged FREAK" with "physical deformities"! I am a very active LIVING woman who happened to be IBC who had surgery (UMX), did burn very bad from Rads and did develops LE during Chemo years ago. I AM NOT FREAK!! Nor is anyone else!
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Bippy, I know how you feel - I'm new to this too. I had a LE evaluation on 5/5 and have started having weekly therapy. I went from hearing "we're not calling it lymphedema yet" to "we can't rule it out" last week. My arm is responding very well to MLD but she put me in a sleeve last Thursday and I was NOT happy about it. I do have to admit though that Friday night was the first pain-free night I've had in over a year. I've had pretty much constant pain in my right arm since a few weeks after my BMX last year. I can deal with it during the day, but it wakes me up at night. I've actually had three good night's of sleep in a row now - amazing. I'm not wrapping or wearing any sleeve at night as of right now but just wearing it during the day and doing MLD is helping a lot.
I don't have allof the typical symptoms, no real visible swelling but my right arm does measure slightly bigger than my left. Prior to the start of therapy, my arm felt very tight and heavy, along with being achy and my rings were tight all of a sudden. I'm very hopeful that I can get and keep this under control because if it is LE, it seems like it might be a mild case. I hope you also get some relief soon!
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Do not wear whatever day garment you were given at night! Day garments and night garments are very different and work on different principles.
Day garments (sleeves/gloves) are for 'active' and designed to work while 'you' are active - moving around. Night garments are 'passive' and designed to work while 'you' are sleeping/not active.
Just 'getting a sleeve and glove' is not always that easy for all of us. There are different levels of compression and not all work for all of us. Not all of us fit into 'Off The Shelf' measurements. There is no way I could use OTS gloves - my hand is slight of webbed so has to have custom gloves. In the compression level I need - they do not make OTS sleeves that fit either.
It takes learning - but individual learning of what works for YOU - not just someone else says 'you' have to do to live and love your life. What some say, IF I followed their plan(s) would give me more issues with LE . BUT we are all different.
(I have never had any pain associated with my LE.)
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this is such a blessing, this board. Already I have been steered in the right direction. And, I found that my LE is truncal in a way, not so much the arm. It is on my side/back, under armpit. Off soon to my LE appt. so I will post whatever happens.
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hi kicks, I thought about your post and decided to edit my first one to remove those self-defacing words. Not healthy to think like that, and today is a new day, and I feel good!
Ucfmom, yes, it does suck but so glad you are getting relief. I am calmer now, since I have yet to get any bigger and it actually feels normal today, though I do have swellings. Being pissed did me no good and really brought me down. So now I am back to my FU cancer attitude and liking it. Or I suppose now it is FU LE?
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bippy, with truncal LE and particularly under the armpit (that's my primary issue), lots of us find that wearing compression tee shirts is a great help. UnderArmour is one brand, and we find that their men's shirts work better than the women's versions, because they put a cap sleeve on the women's shirts that tends to cut into the axilla. A bunch of us worked with a small athletic/travelwear company in Minnesota, and they nicely created a compression shirt designed for women with LE. It was a fun group effort, lots of us did size-and-design testing, and while it may not be a perfect solution for everyone, so far lots of people are happy with the result. You'll find it here: http://www.gotravelwear.com/shop/
Wear-ease also makes a compression tee shirt, and it's quite expensive but may be covered by your insurance. And, you can try shapewear, although it's rare to find a garment that covers and compresses the armpit.
It sounds like you're feeling a bit more confident that you'll tame the LE beast, and that's great.
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i will check that out!
Well, I am lucky again. Very slightest swellings, not even in need of wrapping. She did go over precautions, stretches, and demonstrate MLD. And now I have an rx for a class 1 sleeve for travel. No need for me to return unless there is new trouble. I know that I exacerbated it from exercising my arm and shoulder. Also, I lifted a bunch of stuff that I should not have. Now it is clear that denial of my new normal will only lead to troubles. Still am glad I went and got prepared.
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Bippy, exercising may well have set things off, because the body interprets unaccustomed weight, resistance, and/or activity as a source of stress and sends extra lymph to the rescue. So, one strategy to get your life back--to be able to do normal activity plus exercise for all its wonderful benefits--is to change 'unaccustomed' to 'accustomed.' Slow and steady is the only way to do this without creating problems along the way, and there's been some nice research to figure out the best approach to exercising and doing strength training so we can build endurance and strength without the process triggering added LE woes. Here's a resource: http://stepup-speakout.org/Handout%20doc%20for%20S... I have been lifting weights following these guidelines for about three years, and as a precaution, I always wear a compression tee under my workout clothing, and always am in my compression sleeve and gauntlet.
Oh, by the way, your sleeve prescription includes a compression gauntlet, RIGHT? Because if not, call the therapist back and request it. A sleeve without hand protection can send lymph to the hand, and if LE develops there, it tends to be hard to control. If the therapist is surprised or resists the idea, here's an article to show her: https://www.lymphedivas.com/en/hand-protection It's on the Lymphedivas website, and yes, they have an interest in selling gauntlets, but the author is Dr. Andrea Cheville, a noted LE researcher. She agreed to write the article for them after they were questioned by the Stepup-Speakout ladies, who were concerned that Lymphedivas was showing a lot of arms in sleeves without either a gauntlet or a glove. Not only did the wonderful folks at Divas agree to be sure to put gauntlets on their models, they took the extra step of explaining, via the Cheville article, why it's important to use a hand garment.
I'm so glad to see that you're putting the LE in perspective!
Carol
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Gauntlets do work for some - but not for all all the time. I normally have no issues with hand/finger swelling with my gloves BUT do have with a gauntlet. I have one that I use for some activities as it allows for better 'feel' but not something to use all the time. With my crazy somewhat webbed fingers it would have been a lot easier than finally getting the measurements right so my custom gloves do not literally cut the skin between fingers.
My night garment (Solaris Tribute) has a gauntlet hand and I have to use an Isotoner opera length glove under it or fingers swell. This is per my LET guys orders not something I dreamed up myself. It is made by Isotoner for medical use and I get from him. They make wrist length and opera/elbow length and are made so the seams are to the outside. Isotoner are VERY light compression but still some compression.
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Yay for you Bippy!!! I was diagnosed as Class 1 also. I saw my LE therapist for about 4 months and she taught me how to do MLD. I now only wear my bra and my sleeve when I walk or travel. I do a lot of exercises and squeezing of a squishy ball of some sort. I am sure you will know when you have done to much. I sure can tell when my arm says "enough" and that is when my husband rubs my shoulder and side and we work on getting the soreness out together. The main problem I have is mostly under the arm and when he hits a node sticking out, I certainly feel it, but after about 10 minutes of massage, I feel so much better and ready to go again. I'm glad you have come back to being your "original" self again.
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carol, you are a saviour! Yes, she did tell of the gauntlet and I an getting one also. Thanks for the other tips and links. I don't know what I would do without this place and you ladies.
I also found some interesting lectures on youtube from Sloan-Kettering by an exercise therapist there regarding lymphedema. She said the same thing as you Carol, that is, start slow, go slow, and don't do too much. She specifically mentioned weight training by smalllllllll increments. Very sensible and now I understand.
Kicks, that is interesting to about the glove. My therapist said that some people actually go and find a nice fitting golf glove and use that! She said it's not as expensive and there's more choices. I think for now I'll go with the prescription, and try that later on. She was adamant I use boy that is interesting to about the glove. My therapist said that some people actually go and find a nice fitting golf glove and use that! She said it's not as expensive and there's more choices. I think for now I'll go with the prescription. She was adamant however about me using gauntlet/glove and sleeve for flying.
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There's some disagreement on needing to use compression garments while flying, especially for the at-risk (nodes removed, mostly) who don't yet have a LE diagnosis. But I fly often, usually at least four flights every two weeks, and I've watched flimsy water bottles shrink, expand, shrink during flight. That's enough to tell me that the cabin pressure changes, and if it's enough to bend the plastic, I want all the protection I can get to prevent the same from happening to my poor little lymphatic pathways.
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IF you can use OTS (Off The Sbelf) sleeves/gloves, there are a lot more options for color/pattern. OTS is also much cheaper than custom garments but they have to fit correctly and in the right compression level for you to use them without causing harm.
I always knew that I had a very hard time getting winter gloves that 'fitted' - never realized the reason til needed garments. My fingers are 'webbed' (toes are too - only more so) so OTS gloves literally CUT into the webbing between my fingers causing a lot of pain and making open sores (not good at all with LE). It took several times for my LET guy to finally get the right measurements so now he just orders me 2 new sets every 6 mths. There is also no OTS in the compression level I need that will fit my arm so sleeves too have to be custom too. (For me, I have to have low compression - high causes huge swelling rapidly.)
I am in a bit of a different situation than many/most. My care is through VA so my LET guy orders what I need. I don't see an LET and then go to a Supply House where my garments are ordered rather or not the person 'measuring/ordering actually has any LE education.
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Bippy, great news - I'm happy for you! Kicks, I'm not sure if your second post from last night was directed at me, but just in case it was - I'm not wearing a sleeve at night.
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Bippy, great news!
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Hello everyone...yes..this is another club I get to join!
I am wanting to avoid it, however, think it may be best to follow through with treatments, etc. I have a mild case of lymphedema in my right arm and they seem to think a little in my left. I have no pain or discomfort, however, started to notice swelling last year during treatments. Any advice? I am freaking out a little about the wrapping, etc, especially with the mild case I have. I went in for a consultation thinking I'd be directed on self treatment, etc. Oh well!!
Thanks for any help you can give!
Laurie
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